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MMC at 12 wk scan, stopped growing at 9.5 wks

(88 Posts)
appleseedpip Fri 23-Dec-16 03:56:36

I had my 12 week scan today, my first scan and also my first pregnancy. There was no heartbeat and the fetus had stopped growing at 9.5 weeks sad I had been feeling anxious too about mmc but thought I was being paranoid and worrying too much. I had no bleeding whatsoever so thought everything was going to plan but the news was devastating..

We were planning to tell our family on Christmas Day.. This whole thing has happened at a really awkward time of year and don't think I can get an appointment till the new year.. But I was wondering which procedures did other's go through if they had a MMC with a baby that stopped growing at 9.5-10weeks.. I've read elsewhere that women (majority who had lost at 5-6 weeks) that waited to MC naturally or took the pill experienced a lot of pain and bleeding.. It worries me how much more painful and bleeding it is for someone who is at 9.5-10weeks sad. I'm frightened of the operation route as I've never been under general anaesthetic but reading how much less pain and bleeding there was seems better.. I really don't know what to do sad

I'm trying to stay positive and remind myself that we were lucky to be pregnant and on our first month of TTC even if it unfortunately ended in a MMC, we know that we can be pregnant again. I also think the fetus just wasn't a healthy one to begin with and nature took it's course which if it was the case I'm greatful for.

2016 has honestly been an awful year. I'm glad to see the back of it but moving onwards and forwards a new year and a new start. Fingers crossed for us all for happy healthy pregnancies. flowers

Caken Fri 23-Dec-16 04:32:04

So so sorry, it's utterly heartbreaking, such a hard thing to go through. I've had 2 MMCs and had the surgery each time. I found it a very calm experience both times and was so well looked after at hospital. I had minimal pain and bleeding afterwards which helped the emotional recovery.

Everything crossed for a healthy pregnancy for you soon flowers

AppleMagic Fri 23-Dec-16 04:48:37

I had a mmc at 11 weeks but baby was only measuring 9 weeks (it doesn't necessarily mean it stopped growing at 9 weeks though - I had regular scans for another medical condition and saw my baby grew slowly between 6 and 9 weeks and had a heartbeat until 10.5 weeks).
I had medical management at home and didn't really have any pain at all with it. The bleeding wasn't that heavy either but I did have period like bleeding for over 6 weeks (I bled for a long time after my other pregnancies too though). flowers

Helbelle75 Fri 23-Dec-16 04:52:29

I'm so sorry to hear this. Utterly devastating.
I had a mmc at 10.5 weeks in May this year, the baby's heart had stopped beating at around 8.5 weeks. I found out as I started bleeding and went for an early scan. I miscarried naturally and there was an awful lot of blood and it was quite traumatic. I did end up in hospital for fluids and general monitoring.
Please be very kind to yourself over the next few weeks. It hit me very hard emotionally. I found that going for counselling really helped me, as did planting a memorial Rose.
I'm now 24 weeks pregnant again, so stay positive. I hope 2017 is a better one for you.

tigerdog Fri 23-Dec-16 04:55:01

Hi apple, I'm sorry for your loss. flowers

I had a mmc at the same stage as you exactly, just three weeks ago - I discovered slightly earlier but was measuring 9+5. I opted for surgery and I'm glad I did. The told me that there was a lot of pregnancy tissue - it would have been very upsetting (and no doubt painful) to pass that. Also, given the late stage and that it isn't happening naturally, the chances of retained tissue are probably higher, so an ERPC might be necessary anyway, even after going through it all naturally or with tablets. I had very little bleeding or pain afterwards. I had one lot of paracetamol afterwards and that was it.

For me the main reasons for choosing surgery were: having it be all over quickly; control over when it would happen; not too much bleeding; not seeing the fetus when it passed; less pain.

I also agree - most of those who opt for natural / medical management seem to measure much smaller - almost 10 weeks is quite late for these routes.

The GA is nothing to worry about at all - I've had three this year for various reasons and they have been fine. This one is very mild as the procedure is short. Mine took a bit longer than planned, but the only side effect was a sore throat for a couple of days.

Everyone at the hospital was lovely and I felt well looked after too. They were sensitive and kind given my circumstances.

I hope you're doing ok. It is just heartbreaking. I have found the emotional side much harder than the physical, especially with Christmas around the corner. sad

Good luck with deciding what to do.

LostInTheTriangle Fri 23-Dec-16 06:54:24

Dear apple,

So sorry to hear about your loss.

I would recommend the surgery, at your stage of pregnancy. I've unfortunately experienced both; surgery (twice) and 1 natural miscarriage of a 9w embryo. The surgery was much easier, emotionally and physically. It's quick, pain free and fast recovery.

After my natural miscarriage I bled for 3 months and had "retained products". The process of miscarrying naturally was traumatic, but I dealt with it at home alone.

Book in for the ERPC as soon as you can if you do decide to do this, but can I gently suggest you also get prepared in case it does happen at home before your operation. Maternity pads, old towels and painkillers. I'm not trying to scare you, but medical staff (in my experience) minimise what later 1st trimester miscarriages are like. It's not like a heavy period, for most, having read many experiences on the 'coping with practicalities of miscarriage' thread.

Once again I'm sorry for your loss flowers

GreedyDuck Fri 23-Dec-16 07:55:04

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I had surgery on Wednesday, and also had an ERPC in 2013. Both were at slightly earlier stages than you are, and this time I did start to miscarry naturally before the surgery.

I would opt for surgery in your shoes. Even at 10 weeks but measuring 6 there was a lot of tissue. I passed the sac on Sunday, but since then my bleeding had pretty much stopped and my cervix had closed. A scan showed that my body was being a bit rubbish about miscarrying fully without intervention, and I have heard this happening to lots of other women, even with medical management. So it can drag on for several weeks and the you need an ERPC anyway. (In fact my neighbour is currently in this position).

Personally, being able to draw a line under the physical side of things allowed me to get on with grieving and recovering far quicker.

I have had a local anaesthetic both times, but if I ever have another I will opt for a GA, it's a very mild GA, the op only takes around half an hour, so nothing to worry about.

I wish you lots of luck with conceiving again when you are ready.

BeamReach Fri 23-Dec-16 09:54:51

I am so sorry you are going through this.....I second greedy duck. I was much earlier than you.... But had Surgical management yesterday. The GA is over quickly (just like drifting off rapidly to sleep and waking up with no feeling of time having passed )

Physical relief is instant... I was feeling pretty grim and physically exhausted/ generally unwell and had been bleeding lightly for days.

I had quite a lot of cramping and pain afterward (my scan showed I have fibroids).... But pain and bleeding settled that day

Today I feel physically a million times better, which is helping me hugely from a psychological perspective

appleseedpip Fri 23-Dec-16 10:33:24

Thank you all for replying.. It's awful that so many of us have had to go through this and some multiple times.. but as bad as this sounds.. I'm finding comfort in knowing you've all done this.. and got through it. It will all be ok..

I cannot express how grateful I am for everyone's kind words of support and have decided that I would like to have the ERPC. I wish I had decided this sooner but I think the shock and heartbreak of the news I just couldn't process things fast enough to decide.

I've called the EPU and they said as it's Christmas they don't have anything till after and are looking at a waiting list for me. They said they will get back to me.. At the same time I'm due to go to my parents on Christmas day till the 30th.. And don't know if it will happen naturally in that time sad.. I haven't told them yet that I'm going through this as we planned to tell them the happy news on christmas day..

On top of this when I was getting my initial bloods done as part of booking the pregnancy they messed up on my blood type test and asked me to get this re-done. I was due to get this done on the day of the scan but they told me to go home.. Which now leaves me in limbo of not knowing my blood type.. which means they can't do anything till they have this information too..

I've booked for a blood test for the 3rd of Jan (seems so far away..) and results won't be on my record till a few days later.. which'll mean an ERPC potentially on 6th-11th of Jan.. That's 2 - 2.5 weeks away. sad

I've noticed since this morning when I went to the toilet and wiped there was a What if it starts happening naturally but I'm at my parents house? What if I bleed out too much and I need help.. I'm frightened.. My normal periods are quite heavy.

Since last night I've noticed when went to the toilet and wiped I had a very very faint brown discharge (sorry for tmi).. And this morning a few small old clots.. I've had no cramping yet, is it already starting? How long till I really start to bleed?.. Sorry I just typing what's coming into my head..

miriam85 Fri 23-Dec-16 10:52:32

I'm so very sorry for your loss - I had a MMC at a similar stage in February, I was 12 weeks and the baby measured 9 weeks. I opted for the medical management and I was glad that I did - at this stage it's like a mini labour (not the heavy period that medical professionals might tell you it is) but for me I feel that going through the actual process was helpful to my emotional recovery. I worry that had I gone into surgery pregnant and come out not, it would have been difficult to accept what had actually happened. That was just me though and everyone's experience is different, I just wanted to offer another perspective. Once again, I am so sorry you are going through this flowers

BeamReach Fri 23-Dec-16 10:56:22

They will ask you to come back to epau to get bloods done. The results are really quick as they are done in the hospital - they don't go back and forth to your GP - it should not delay your surgery

In the day of the surgery they often need to give sine medication to soften cervix, that takes a couple of hours to work so bloods results can come back then

Can you ask epau to sort you out a prescription for pain medication in case things happen while you are away... Can be tricky to access pain meds over holiday period.... Also familiarise yourself with how to access advice over the break (they should be happy to take your phone calls...

can you cut trip to your family a bit short so you can be back in your comfort zone more quickly?

Most hospitals are back to normal service for a few days between Xmas and new year, so I wouldn't panic about having to wait til Jan....
The surgeons may take pity and add you as an extra to a list (they did for me)

I second having a read of the misscarriage advice thread (but not terrifying yourself with bad stories, just looking at the advice and being prepared...

BeamReach Fri 23-Dec-16 10:57:56

I had bleeding like yours. It didn't really progress at all

Everyone is different. Call epau for advice and they will sort out pain meds etc and help key you know what to expect

Helbelle75 Fri 23-Dec-16 16:07:35

Mine started like that and within 24 hours I was bleeding heavily. Make sure you have really thick pads - maternity or incontinence pads- in case it does start, and an old towel.
If you soak a pad really quickly, make sure you ring epu, they'll probably want you to go in.
Like miriam, I actually found the natural way better for me. It gave me closure and i felt closer to my little bean.

Wombletor Fri 23-Dec-16 16:19:05

Hi
I'm so sorry for your loss. It us an awful shock, its happened to me.

I would have the surgery, its calm and painless, with minimal bleeding, less distress.

If you can't get booked in for 2 weeks, speak to the epu and ask to be booked in asap on the emergency list. You will have to wait at the hospital longer but its worth it not to have to wait two weeks.

Take care, and make sure you have lots of heavy duty sanitary towels and painkillers just in case things start naturally.

appleseedpip Sat 24-Dec-16 00:49:22

Thanks again for everyone's replies and for your reassurances Beamreach.

I've realised that this process is far more important than Christmas at the moment. So I'm only going away for Christmas day & boxing day. I also called up the EPU and explained what was happening.. The lady I spoke to was so kind and she said she'll get back to me. She's managed to get me booked for an ERPC on the 29th with a check up scan and blood test the day before. I've never felt so relieved.. I actually just felt so much better knowing it's booked. Only 6 days away, I just need to get through those 6 days.

I realise I'm just not ready to talk to anyone else about this yet.. Only my sister (who I'm very close to and has known from the very beginning I was pregnant and my husband). I've cried each time on the phone to strangers when needing to explain what had happened in order to proceed forward.

I had a call earlier today from the midwife unit asking if I had a chance to do my blood test yet for their records, they had no idea I had a MMC, I had text my midwife but she's now on her time off so the news never got to them, they apologised and said they would change my records so I would get no more further correspondence, I could tell she didn't know how to handle the situation as she said hope you have a lovely christmas but did an awkward shocked laugh before hanging up.

I've just come back from a last minute 6 hour christmas gift shop.. It was awful.. Checkout people saying hope you have a lovely Christmas, trying to buy toys for my nephew and I've started cramping sad.. I really hope this isn't starting. I went and bought a pack of maternity pads.. I wish I bought more.. and a hot water bottle and nurofen.

I haven't been social much either.. which is noticed by my friends and family during a very social time of the year. The idea of me drinking too whilst I have it inside me just doesn't seem right either.. For the last 3 months I've been avoiding it and I can't bring myself to do it now even though I know it is dead.

I know I'll get through this but feel this is definitely something that I will always carry with me.. the one I lost. I'm so glad this forum exists. It has really helped me through the last few days.

Helbelle75 Sat 24-Dec-16 05:33:21

Pleased that you've got an appointment, it must feel better to have a date.
Be very kind to yourself, you're going to feel out of sorts emotionally and physically. I had to have a month off work and bereavement counselling before I felt I could cope with the world. I'm not the same person I was. I used to be a social butterfly and bit of an extrovert. Now, I just want to to be with my nearest and dearest and I avoid crowds.
There is lots of support available when you feel ready for it. Hugs to you xx

JigglyTuff Sat 24-Dec-16 05:46:44

My heart really goes out to you - what a horrible time of year to be going through this. I had pretty much the same timings with my MMC. I was waiting for my ERPC appointment when I started to bleed.

If that's what happens to you, maternity pads are a good call, as are painkillers. You'll be stuck on a sofa/loo (I didn't look when I passed heavier things - just flushed) so you may want to be at home if it starts. Or it might be nice to have your mum there?

My MMC was 10 years ago but I will always remember him x

Ditsy4 Sat 24-Dec-16 06:23:24

So sorry to hear this. I lost a baby earlier on Christmas Eve at my in laws. It was awful. I couldn't tell them as I hadn't even told their son. I made him take me home on the 27 th. Years later after baby two and been trying for three for two years I went for a scan to be devastated by no heart beat. My GP was nearly as upset as me! He was so kind to me afterwards and saw me through my next pregnancy with lots of support and extra visits. He was a very shy man and came across as abrupt sometimes but he was wonderful to me. Hopefully you will get the same support. I went on to have two more successful pregnancies.
It doesn't take them long to get blood results think about people in A&E. It just takes longer when not urgent. I was Rhesus neg and DH is positive and I know with first I was making antibodies so it could have been part of my difficulty.
Are you going to tell your parents when you go to stay. It might be wise as you will be emotional like being on a roller coaster for the next few weeks. It still hits you at odd times but eventually you get over it. It does take a long time though. Years.
Take care of yourself and allow yourself a few treats. I would book yourself an aromatherapy massage in a few weeks time. It will help you de- stress.

Littlemisssugarplum88 Sat 24-Dec-16 09:12:45

Hi apple, so sorry you've had a mmc. It's such sad news, especially this time of year sad
I also had a mmc last Thursday. I should have been 11 weeks; I'd had no bleeding or anything but I began passing brown mucous so I was referred to epu where they confirmed I'd had a mmc. We saw the heartbeat at 7 weeks and they never noticed anything was wrong at the scan, then apparently the foetus died a couple of days after that scan. Still can't believe now that after 4 weeks I didn't have any obvious signs confused
The hospital advised me that there was a waiting list of up to a week for surgical management. I came home and decided I wanted the process to start sooner rather than later and opted for medical management the next day (on the Friday). I had cramping and bleeding for 48 hours before passing the pregnancy sac on the Sunday; it came away in one piece and I couldn't make out the foetus at all which was only measuring 6mm anyway. The sac was only slightly smaller than the palm of my hand.
The pessaries also made me vomit the night I'd had them, I was warned about this before I was given them.
7 days on and I've got no pain or bleeding now, I just feel completely wiped out with all the emotional and physical side to it all.
Hoping you have a speedy and pain free recovery whichever route you chose xxx

BeanDotSprout Sat 24-Dec-16 09:50:36

I'm very sorry you're going through this. I've had 3 losses, 2 of those MMCs, one at 16 weeks and this time at 8 weeks. At 16 weeks things progressed naturally before the induction and this week I opted for medical management. I had the tablets on Thursday morning, went home and it was confirmed yesterday that the sac had passed. I believe it happened Thursday afternoon but it was difficult to tell as it happened so fast. All I saw was clots but the baby was just 6 weeks with the sac measuring 8. I managed with paracetamol and ibuprofen but had anti sickness and stomach settling tablets too. I still have some retained tissue as the scan showed yesterday but they're confident it'll pass over the next two weeks.

Hope it all goes as well as these things possibly can xx

appleseedpip Sat 24-Dec-16 13:33:53

I bled late lastnight.. sad

Around 12:30am I was cramping more and saw the beginnings of what looked like a normal period. So I prepared myself by going to bed with a maternity pad on, hot water bottle, took two nurofen tablets and laid down a plastic big bag and old towel on the bed. My husband hugged me to sleep the last thing I remember before drifting off was feeling my cervix cramping and what I imagined dilating, I'd never experienced that before. I then woke up moaning and in agony I went to go stand and felt it all rush out of me and whimpered to my husband that it was starting.

I was shaking on the toilet and you're right... Nothing really prepares you for how much blood, tissue and clots you pass. With every cramp/contraction it just gushed out of me and felt 4 large things pass but I dared not look.. I just kept flushing the toilet. sad I was on the toilet for 3hrs in all, during which my husband refreshed my hot water bottle, got me water, a blanket to wrap around me, and an ipad and haribos.. The main bleed I think has now subsided but am still bleeding heavily.. I still can't quite believe what happened.

Although I naturally MC before my op (I might still have to have it if there's still tissue remaining). I'm glad it happened now.. I was in a dark sad place the last few days and I think if I had to wait another 6 days it would have been incredibly difficult. Right now I feel relieved the worst is over.. I feel delicate but at peace. I really hope the heavy bleeding stops soon.. I feel like I've lost so much blood. My husband's going to go out to get me some iron tablets for me to take.

Ladies, thank you again for your kind words of support. Reading everyone's stories was heartbreaking but encouraging to know it's going to be ok. I think if I'm ever unfortunate enough for this to happen again I would opt for the ERPC as soon as possible. I agree with you Miriam & Hellebelle, having gone through this naturally did help me psychologically too.

It's also occurred to me however awful this process is I'm so glad it was a MMC.. I imagined if this happened a week before my first 12 weeks scan where I thought everything was fine in less that 24hours going through what I experienced last night un prepared with painkillers, pads, towels, hot water bottles let alone being unprepared mentally would have been terrible. At least this way I had a few days to process there being no heartbeat, grieve and prepare myself with everything, research and read what to expect and create this thread to have all the amazing support for you all.

Thank you again for helping me hugely get through this. xxx

Helbelle75 Sat 24-Dec-16 15:45:51

Huge hugs to you. Your husband sounds like a gem. Take care of yourself and please ring epu if you're still bleeding heavily.

Littlemisssugarplum88 Sat 24-Dec-16 17:10:17

How are you feeling apple?! It sounds like the worst may be over for you. Have a few drinks tonight and try to enjoy your Xmas as much as you can with your family.
Take care of yourself xx

appleseedpip Mon 26-Dec-16 15:42:20

Thanks Hellbelle and Sugar, I'm doing better, I carried on bleeding and passing the rest of that day, it's becoming less today, I'm totally wiped. looking a bit off colour and my lips are pale but I'll be alright.

I hope you both had a good Christmas. Sugar how are you getting on after last week? Better I hope. And Hellbelle so wonderful to hear you're 24 weeks, I hope I'll get to be at the stage some point in 2017 too. xxx

Littlemisssugarplum88 Mon 26-Dec-16 15:52:37

Great to hear that you're feeling much better smile I've not bled now for 48 hours, yay! I think it's all over...bring on my next period hehe xx

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