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Good at getting pregnant but not staying pregnant

(44 Posts)
kitkat321 Fri 02-Dec-16 20:21:38

Anyone else in this boat?

I've been pregnant 4 times in the last 3 years but only have 1 child.

My first pregnany in 2013 ended at 5+4 - despite being an early miscarriage it was quite painful and I did end up in hospital on the gas and air.

I put it down to bad luck - at that point I hadn't realised that 1 in 5 pregnanies ended in mc.

I stupidly decided to try and get pregnant again right away - I'd read online that as your hormone levels were still elevated it would increase the likelihood of a successful pregnancy - I got pregnant again right away on first attempt (I always have) but had another mc at 5+4.

Dr said it was because it was too soon for my body to cope. They did blood tests and everything came back fine. I gave it a break for a few months and fell pregnant on first attempt in early 2014 and had a perfectly normal pregnany and gave birth to my amazing dd who is now 2.

Decided it was time to have another - again fell pregnant on first attempt and got my bfp on Saturday. This morning, at 5+1 I started bleeding and then cramping and I still am - having gone through this twice before I know exactly what is happening. This time round it's harder to take as it now feels like it's not just bad luck or timing but that there is a reason why this keeps happening.

I'm not really sure what to do now. Do I wait a few months and try again and hope for the best? Is there any point on going to see a doctor at this point given I've already had tests run in the past.

Although it's only an early mc, each time it takes it toll physically and mentally and I'm loath to compromise on the time I spend with my dd by getting caught up in this horrible cycle. I wonder if it's better just to accept that I won't have another - at least not without a great deal of difficulty.

thatsnotmybear Fri 02-Dec-16 22:34:54

Hi kitkat, I'm sorry for your losses. I had a mmc in May this year, followed by an early mc in September and another early mc the very next cycle in October. You say you've had tests done before, were these part of investigations at a Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic, or by your GP?

kitkat321 Fri 02-Dec-16 23:05:15

Hi - so sorry that you've been through similar issues. The tests were done at the early pregnancy unit. They took some blood and done some tests - for what I'm not sure as my head was like mush at the time and then when I went on to have a successful pregnancy I thought no more of it as I assumed it was just bad luck.

I've not seen the midwife yet for current pregnancy and to be honest I won't - the inconvenience and waiting around for hcg level results when I know what has happened isn't something I can be bothered with.

I might wait until early next year when Christmas and our family holiday is out of the way and then try again and if it happens again make a decision about whether or not I want to pursue it further or just accept that it's not meant to be.

Soubriquet Fri 02-Dec-16 23:07:26

6 pregnancies

2 children

1 mc at 6 weeks
1 mc at 5 weeks
1 mc at 7 weeks
1 mc at 4 weeks

kitkat321 Fri 02-Dec-16 23:12:59

Soubriquet - wow you've been though the mill! Did you ever get any tests done to determine why you were having early mc's? I've heard some stories about asprin being prescribed - or is it really just down to luck?

kitkat321 Fri 02-Dec-16 23:13:59

I'm sure I also ready somewhere that some women can only carry foetuses of certain sex to full term - I think the specific examples were women who couldn't carry male foetuses as their body rejected them but I may ahve totally made that up!

Soubriquet Fri 02-Dec-16 23:15:42

No never been through any tests

And the certain sex thing keeps getting said but I've heard it's false

I've got a boy and a girl so it certainly isn't the case with me

kitkat321 Fri 02-Dec-16 23:18:24

Thanks Soubriquet - I guess I'm just clutching at straws just now trying to find a reason for something that may just be random.

I think if I had a clear understanding of why it happened it might help me decide what to do next - part of me want's to just go for it and try again - one last shot and the other part things it's maybe better to just accept that it's not to be - I'm very much a believe in "what's for you won't go by you".

Itscurtainsforyou Fri 02-Dec-16 23:21:32

I wonder about that theory sometimes, although it's possibly not the case for me.

I had:
One child (boy)
Miscarriage (6 weeks)
Late miscarriage of twin boys (22 weeks)
Miscarriage (7 weeks)
Investigations (recurrent miscarriage tests for blood clotting disorders among other things)
Miscarriage (7 weeks)
One child (boy) very premature birth

I think it's worth having investigations, for that you need to be "on record" as having had 3+ miscarriages so I would advise you to seek medical attention this time despite you knowing how it's going to go.

The investigations showed that I am a carrier for a blood clotting disorder that may/not have made a difference, so I was given specific drugs in my last pregnancy. It also meant I was under a consultant who was used to treating women in my position, so she gave me all the treatment/scans/understanding I needed.

I'm sorry you're going through all this. I wish you lots of luck.

Largemelons Fri 02-Dec-16 23:21:45

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it's shit.
I've had 3 losses between 4-6 weeks and have 5 children.
I'm currently about 5 weeks pregnant and just waiting for it to happen again, I'm so paranoid!
I had 3 DC in my 20's
M/c 5+2
M/c 4+5
M/c 4+4

My last 4 children were girls.
I do wonder if there's anything behind that theory as my DH and I have 3 girls (the first 2 aren't his) and maybe we just can't make them?
It'll be interesting to see if this one pans out whether it's another girl.

kitkat321 Fri 02-Dec-16 23:28:37

Thanks ladies - isn't it a bit shit that some of us have to go through this.

I envy those women who get to have baby after baby with no issue.

Itscurtains - good point re having it on record. I dealt directly with the EPU for my last 2 - my first one put me in hospital and they transferred me to EPU so that was my first port of call second time around as they had told me to book an early scan if I feel pregnant again.

Do you think my gp or midwife would be the first port of call - neither can do anything to treat the current mc obviously but who would be the best placed to refer? GP I assume?

My bleeding/cramp seems to have tailed off now so I may well take a test in a few days - the fact that I have a glass of bourbon in my hand though shows how confident I am in what is happening.

Dozer Fri 02-Dec-16 23:31:06

V sorry you're going through this. You can be referred to a miscarriage clinic, if you're near London st mary's paddington were good for me.

There are some genetic, hormone and blood clotting conditions that can cause miscarriage. Recommend Prof Lesley Regan's book.

Largemelons Fri 02-Dec-16 23:31:21

Aw kitkat, take care of yourself, one of my losses was this time of year and I remember Sitting listening to dd1 singing in the choir at church whilst knowing I was m/c just feeling completely like an emotional mess.
I consoled myself with much mulled wine that Christmas!

Misskittycat16 Fri 02-Dec-16 23:32:52

Hello Kitkat, so sorry this has happened to you. It's pretty rubbish.

My story is 3 mmc in the last year, no living dc. Had about a million tests and everything has come back normal. Only thing I haven't tested for is NK cells. We are going to try again in the new year but I'm pretty certain I know the outcome already.

Milklollies Fri 02-Dec-16 23:36:04

No offence but I don't understand why women (and men) torture themselves on this issue. I came from a dinnerparty tonight where this issue came up. Have you ever considered adapting? The love you have can be just as easily given to a child. In my lack of defence I will never be able to have a kid with the man I love so it seems like an impossible dream for me hence my opinion. OP it seems you and many other women torture yourselves over this issue. You shouldn't torture yourself. Just live and enjoy your life. A lot of my friends who went down the same path often had problems where the aim is to make a baby and the human aspect of sex, fulfilment, self value tended to disappear. You already have a child. Let it happen naturally. Now you have mentioned the miscarriages but I have nothing but sympathy for you on that aspect but you're living as a free women in an economically and socially privileged country. Don't get sucked into the depressive pits of conception and remember to be happy that you can do whatever you want.

oldbirdy Fri 02-Dec-16 23:37:07

I had 8 pregnancies, 4 kids
M/C at 8w4
M/C 5 weeks
M/C 9 weeks 2days
M/C 5 weeks

For me the get pregnant immediately after m/C worked for both my last 2 children, both were conceived immediately following a miscarriage before a subsequent period. I was told there is no need to wait.
I also found I had very low vitamin D just prior to my last pregnancy, my doctor tested as a result of my miscarriages. I started a high rescue dose around the time I became pg but before I knew. That final pregnancy was the only one if all 8 where I had no first trimester bleeds. I would recommend a vit D supplement if you aren't already taking one . Good luck.

Milklollies Fri 02-Dec-16 23:37:12

Enjoy the bourbon! And have a good nights sleep.

kitkat321 Fri 02-Dec-16 23:38:44

Largemelons - ability to consume alcohol is one of the few benefits to this situation I guess.

Misskittycat - fingeres crossed for a stickybean for you in the New Year xx

Misskittycat16 Fri 02-Dec-16 23:41:44

Thank you. Fingers crossed for you too. Hope you manage to get some rest tonight flowers

Dozer Fri 02-Dec-16 23:46:24

Milklollies, if you really didn't mean to cause offence hmm suggest you look at the threads about shit people have said to people with fertility problems.

Dozer Fri 02-Dec-16 23:46:40

Some of your lines are in there.

Milklollies Fri 02-Dec-16 23:51:07

Dozed- I refuse to look at them because I get depressed looking at the news. Actually reading what another human is going through is too much. I came from a dinner party where my friends were claiming that they spent nearly 200k on ttc. I honestly think the doctors have taken them for a ride. They have one child but they could've done so much with that money. Adapt, charity, invest in the child they have etc. I should be clear that the only part of my comment that was truly aimed at the op was "the you already have a kid onwards". Everything before was my shock and exasperation towards my friends.

Imscarlet Fri 02-Dec-16 23:51:48

Have you had your progesterone levels checked? I have had 2 mmc and 1 6 week loss. I have had the 'products' (awful term) tested after the last mmc and there were no problems found. I have carried to term with progesterone support.

Milklollies Fri 02-Dec-16 23:51:52

Dozer not dozed. Wine and and sleep deprivation is not a good mix.

kitkat321 Sat 03-Dec-16 00:03:55

I don't think my progesterone levels were checked but will mention that when I go speak to the mw next week.

The bleeding and cramps have tailed off now - bleeding is now light pink and only when I wipe so not sure if that means anything.

Oldbirdy - thanks for the tip re vitamin D - I live in Scotland so I think most of us here are deficient in that!

Another think that sprung to mind is issues I've had in the past with cervical smears. May be nothing but I've had several borderline smears resulting in a colposcopy a few months after giving birth and some lasering if cells. May not be related in any way but I wonder if perhaps I'm not healthy in that, erm, area and it's causing me issues.

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