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TFMR

(11 Posts)
fempsych Tue 22-Nov-16 19:14:44

Does anybody have experience of this? I'm 13+4 and trisomy 18 and hydrops has been confirmed through Harmony. So CVS on Friday and then TFMR maybe Wednesday next week. Trying to get my head around it all.

Frazzled2207 Tue 22-Nov-16 19:54:02

I'm so sorry. No, but have seen plenty of threads here discussing, if you do a search you will find lots
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nearlyreadytopop Tue 22-Nov-16 19:55:31

There is a pregnancy choices topic, you might find more info in there.

TheDisillusionedAnarchist Tue 22-Nov-16 20:01:37

There's several people on the antenatal tests board who've had TFMR including for t18 and hydrops. Hopefully some of them will see this. Very sorry to hear this news, hydrops in particular has such a poor prognosis.

TheDisillusionedAnarchist Tue 22-Nov-16 20:12:09

Also the Edwards syndrome families UK group on Facebook is predominantly families who chose TFMR following a T18 diagnosis. You may find them supportive.

pukekos Wed 23-Nov-16 02:34:35

I'm a week down the line from tfmr at nearly 16 weeks (in my case T21) first picked up on harmony and confirmed with cvs. It's an awful time and I'm so sorry you have to go through it too. Feel free to pm me if you have any specific questions or just want to rant about it all. You will get through this (though I know it doesn't feel like it at the minute).

KittyandTeal Wed 23-Nov-16 15:00:16

I'm sorry you are going through this.

We had a tfmr at 22 weeks for T18. I've also had a mmc at 14weeks that was medically managed. Im happy to talk and answer questions you have about what happens next etc.

ARC are also a brilliant charity who will have someone to listen to you who has been in the same or similar situation

fempsych Wed 23-Nov-16 15:47:22

One question I have is how long people took off work? I work in a patient facing role that requires full emotional energy at all times so am unsure of how long to consider taking off?

KittyandTeal Wed 23-Nov-16 16:19:46

I'm a teacher, in reception at the time so pretty full on emotionally too.

I initially took 6 full weeks and then did a 4 week phased return. I only work 2 days a week too.

After our ds I took 4 weeks, 2 of those were Easter holiday and then went back. Looking back it was far, far too soon. My advice would be take as long as you feel you need, don't try to struggle back too soon.

A phased return really helped too. I used to do mornings, go for a swim on the way home and gather my thoughts before I got back to dd1.

One thing I learnt is that grief is bloody exhausting. It took a good 9 months to be able to think straight again

fempsych Wed 23-Nov-16 18:57:40

I guess I'm just wondering whether to aim to go back before Christmas or wait till after as I have annual leave but that seems like a long time.

fempsych Wed 23-Nov-16 18:58:05

Thanks for your answer kitty

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