I'm sure it's the same for everyone that after a miscarriage, it seems like everyone else is getting pregnant. I've learned to deal with the Facebook updates and scan pictures and whatever after my miscarriage last month (MMC, had ERPC on 17th October) but what I'm finding really hard to deal with is that my two best friends are both pregnant - and in fact one of them is due on the same day as I was. The logical, sensible part of me is over the moon for them both, especially as for one of them it's been a difficult journey, and I am grateful and proud that they've both chosen to tell me early and confide in me. But there's a small emotional part of me that's finding it hard to handle and because it's my two best friends, I don't really have anyone else to talk to about these feelings! My husband is wonderful and very understanding but I don't think he quite gets the very visceral, almost physical feeling of sadness that I have to try and cover up whenever I'm talking to them.
I guess what I'm asking is if anyone else has been in a similar situation and has any advice. I don't want to distance myself from either of them or not be involved (one of them I'm related to, the other one is the mother of my godson, and I love them both dearly) and both of them were amazing, wonderful support throughout my very drawn out miscarriage so I desperately want to be able to support them in the same way. But any other advice would be really welcomed. I think I just want to be able to be fully excited for and with them, and currently most of me is, but a tiny part of me is really, really sad...
Thanks ladies. I don't know what I'd have done without this forum through this whole process. x
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Coping with other people's pregnancies after a miscarriage
emsler · 11/11/2016 12:08
jimijack · 11/11/2016 12:25
Well yes, it is excruciating, the sadness that is.
I came off facebook, avoided that stuff. Close friends you can't avoid though can you. I never wanted to make anyone else feel uncomfortable because of what had happened to me.
I kind of grew a huge pair off bollocks, forcefully turned my thinking round and viewed other people's pregnancies as theirs, not mine, nothing to do with me, just theirs alone.
My guts felt like they were being ripped out even seeing a pregnant belly, the hardest harshest aspect of trying to smile and look happy/pleased/excited/interested for them.
My good friends knew I suppose as it wasn't forced down my throat.
I have no advice, you get through in your own way I suppose. It's awful, but you do get through.
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