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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Early miscarriage

18 replies

Char2609 · 09/11/2016 20:12

I'm am currently going through an early miscarriage, which is my first pregnancy. I feel so empty and hurt inside.
It feels as though my OH doesn't understand why I am so upset as I was only 5 weeks. Is it right to feel the way I do?

OP posts:

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Thingymaboob · 09/11/2016 20:47

Yes of course. I suffered a mc at 6 weeks 3 weeks ago and I'm still very up & down. Take a week off work, buy a massive box of chocolates, drink lots of fluid and see your friends. I couldn't face meeting my best friends until last Thursday when I was forced out by husband. I was balling in the pub.
My nephew was born in my old bedroom at my mothers house on the day I miscarried (unexpectedly 2 weeks early!)
Have been so so excited about seeing him for months but I cannot face visiting my family as it's too painful. It's really awful. I teach in a hospital and I've told my manager that I will not visit the maternity bit or teach midwives until I'm fully recovered

NeverGoOutOfStyle · 09/11/2016 22:48

I had a similar experience to you. I was 5 weeks along, and it was my first pregnancy and I was so excited I could burst, but I felt like something was 'wrong'. It was a really, really difficult time for me. I found it really difficult to get on with my life for a few weeks after and from everything I've been told, that's perfectly normal. It takes different people different lengths of time to move forward after a miscarriage.

How is your OH being? You mentioned you don't think he understands how you feel, but is he being supportive? My DP was also heartbroken, he said he didn't feel like it was real until it was actually confirmed I had miscarried, so it hit him really really hard then. Our pregnancy was a surprise so while he was happy there was some shock there too, but he was great. I felt like a few weeks later he was quite 'over' it, while I did still struggle at times.

I can promise you though, it does get easier. It will cross your mind less and you will feel less pain when it does. For about 10 weeks after, I could count how long it had been since it happened but now, I have lost count, and I do feel better.

I'm so sorry this happened to you

rebeccaj85 · 10/11/2016 10:11

I'm going through the exact same thing. I started spotting at the weekend and went to the doctors, they said to wait until Friday as I would be 6 weeks then and they couldn't do anything until then. Unfortunately it only got worse and a definite miscarriage started yesterday afternoon.

I know really that it's not my fault that this has happened but I feel like it is, that I have let everyone down and that my body has failed.

This was our first pregnancy and we were so excited, now I feel scared, devastated and hurt. Every time I go to the toilet it hurts to see a bit more of our dreams flushed away. I know it was only 5 weeks but I already loved that baby and the future it offered us

It's all very raw for both of us at the moment but I'm sure, with time that we will get through this. Sending you lots of love and good wishes. x

Char2609 · 10/11/2016 10:36

Thank you so much for your messages. I have gone back to work today because I thought staying at home was making it worse. I'm not sure whether I've made the right decision yet.

Thank you so much for making me feel like I'm not alone. My fiancé is trying to understand, but because it isn't happening to his body, and he saw how 'matter-of-factly' the hospital has dealt with it, he doesn't realise how much it is affecting me.

I have more blood tests tonight to make sure my HCG levels are returning to normal.

Xx

OP posts:

rebeccaj85 · 10/11/2016 11:13

I'm thinking of getting something like a small piece of jewellery to remember by. Otherwise I feel like it will all just be forgotten in a few weeks when it's all a very real thing that's happened.

Have you tried talking to your OH about how you feel? He may be feeling sad too but trying to be strong for you. I told my OH this morning that it was ok to be sad, that we could be sad together and that he didn't need to be strong for me and he burst into tears!

Good luck with your blood tests x

Thingymaboob · 10/11/2016 17:10

My DH has been amazing. Very supportive and when we talk about it he is tearful too. I told him that I've found this site a great source of support. He said "you can talk to me whenever you want". I've been quite anaemic and run down these past few weeks. Also prone to depression so he's been keeping an eye. Things have to get better

Thingymaboob · 10/11/2016 18:34

While I've been processing this miscarriage I came across this article:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/21-celebrities-who-opened-up-about-their-miscarriages-to-support-other-women uss_563104aee4b0c66bae5a817d

I'm not really into celebrities or anything but for some odd reason I felt this article comforted me. It made me feel that it wasn't my fat, dysfunctional body which was the cause of the miscarriage. If it can happen to Beyoncé and Gwyneth, it can happen to anyone!

Char2609 · 11/11/2016 07:27

We had a good chat about it last night and things are starting to get better. I think he was finding it hard to talk about things.

I went for my tests last night and rang the hospital this morning. They said that my HCG levels have now gone up. They are still very low but they should have dropped again. I have to have more tests on saturday (another 48 hours).
They said it could mean that there is still tissue left, or the embryo is not in the womb.
If this is the case, what could this mean? Feeling so drained now xxx

OP posts:

Thingymaboob · 11/11/2016 07:39

What they mean by pregnancy not in womb is "pregnancy of unknown location". This could mean a number of things but you really won't know / shouldn't worry until your next HCG test. Are you going in again over weekend?

Thingymaboob · 11/11/2016 07:41

I was in exactly same position 3-4 weeks ago. I was monitored for a week and my levels did eventually drop

Char2609 · 11/11/2016 08:09

Yes I have another lot of tests tomorrow evening.
Thank you for everyone's messages. Xxx

OP posts:

Thingymaboob · 11/11/2016 09:27

Well I hope you get answers and this awful painful process is over soon! I found this site incredibly supportive. Keep us posted.

All the best and look after yourself (I bought a giant box of Ferraro Rocher and scoffed the lot). I also recommend floradix, which is an iron and b vitamin supplement. I felt so drained and it really helped I think.

Char2609 · 16/11/2016 12:01

Hope everyone is okay. Thought I'd quickly update. I went for my scan yestserday and they found the foetus next to my left ovary.
I've had the methotrexate injection and now resting at home. Thanks for everyone's support. Xxx

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XxLaura37xX · 17/11/2016 08:00

Hi I hope you all don't mind me jumping in xx I've been reading your posts and sooo sorry for your losses xx
I had a miscarriage last night at 4 weeks exactly from conception think they class it as 6 very confusing for me as was surprise to be pregnant but I had started bleeding exactly week before then got scan Friday said start of pregnancy there had done another clear blue which levels had gone up to 3+ only yesterday morning which excited us and by lunch time I was in a lot of pain and passed what I think is him last night xx im calling it him as between us we have 4 girls xx I've taken picture and was told by hosp to keep last night Incase heavy bleeding but I so wish I could see other pictures like mine as can't on line xx
I don't want to upset anyone but I would like to see if any of you had similar xx

sonirai43 · 18/11/2016 16:23

Hi all - I bet this is not easy to talk about for any of us... but I had a mc on 8th Nov - feel so empty and disheartened. We are just waiting to TTC again

Sending baby dust all your way xxx

kitkat321 · 02/12/2016 20:37

I've now had 3 early mc's = 2 at 5+4 and then today another at 5+1. Inbetween this I had a successful pregnancy.

It's not nice, it's hard to know how to feel as you are only pregnant for such a short time but in those few days you start to plan ahead - work out your due date, think of names etc - and then it's gone, like it didn't happen.

It does get easier - you just need to feel it and take care of yourself. xx

Nd88 · 05/12/2016 12:20

I had a mc this weeked at 6 weeks. I went to work today and just couldnt stop crying. I had no cramps and light bleeding and today back ache is terrible. I feel so sad and lonely and dont know if this is normal way to feel. It was a shock being pregnant but me and the oh got excited and now it is all gone. Plus do back ache i mean awful backache mean i will bleed again?

Kimelizabeth · 20/02/2018 12:21

I'm 38 going just misscarred two weeks tomorrow I was 4 weeks +3 . I just want some advice my self parter had sex day before my period was due and we tried last night to my next period due 3.3.18

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