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My Wife

(6 Posts)
Robthefun1 Thu 27-Oct-16 09:07:20

I need to tell you about my wife. I don't know why but I do. She is a wonderful woman. Unlike me she is kind, compassionate and considerate. She is the type of person who always finds the best in people. The type of person who will travel 50 miles to make sure a Birthday card is received on time.

She has wanted a baby for 13 years, pretty much since we were married, everything from then until now has been a prelude to becoming a mother, her one greatest wish.

On Tuesday we had our 20 week scan. Something we expected to be routine. However we were told our baby had a severe heart defect. We were directed to a specialist who has now confirmed that the defect is of such an extent that it is not survivable.

We have a further appointment with a fetal cardiologist to run through the necessary beauracracy, however my wife will need to endure the anguish of labour and birth without the prospect of the event being the start of the life she has wanted for the past decade.

I am incredibly sad. The saddest I have ever been. For me to a certain extent, but mainly for my wife. She is obviously inconsolable. She has done everything right, we waited the many years we have to make sure we could give our child the best possible home and future. I feel robbed of that future and most painfully I feel my beautiful wife has been robbed of it too.

My wife, my wonderful, amazing wife has always been happy, I hope that she can be again, but I fear that with everything she has been through and the emotional and physical strains that are to come she will not recover to be the person she was only 2 days ago.

Tiny things are so painful for her, we have a nursery already furnished with no baby to make use of it. She has maternity clothes she must now still wear until she has gone through induced delivery, we have email updates from baby shops etc. She has had to tell her friends and work mates. She has friends who are themselves pregnant. With each small thing I see her heart fade more and more and see how angry she is. I can't help her because I am so angry too. The injustice of it all when she has worked so hard to be ready to be the best mother she can be whilst scum fritter away the joys and responsibilities of motherhood is so impossible to reconcile.

I'm not sure what we're supposed to do.

I can't believe how brave you are my darling. I love you so much. I wish I could take all your pain.

Scribblegirl Thu 27-Oct-16 09:09:56

OP this made me cry. I'm so so sorry for your loss flowers

element19 Thu 27-Oct-16 10:28:40

Oh my gosh OP, that is an incredibly powerful post and the love you have for your wife shines through. I just want you to know that I am here if you or your lovely wife would like to talk. I was in that position last year and I gave birth to our much longed for baby in December. He managed to survive for a few weeks with his heart condition. Life can be cruel but here I am today trying to get on with life with as much positivity as I can muster each day, with the belief that there are happy times ahead. Me and my husband are closer than ever. Much love.

NoFuchsGiven Thu 27-Oct-16 10:34:19

Oh Op, I am so so sorry for your loss flowers

Baloothebear4 Fri 28-Oct-16 15:40:38

Devastated for you both.
I am
Currently going through miscarriage at 13 week so feel some of your pain. This post has given me an insight into how my partner is feeling. Thank you for sharing and I hope you and your wife's hearts will mend in time.
Love to you both x

UnicornPee Sun 30-Oct-16 10:44:15

Sorry for your loss flowers
I wish I could help in some way.
Lots of love to you both and I hope you have some happiness in the future

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