Day 10 of miscarriage and losing my mind...

[Fuzyfelt23]

I started miscarrying 10 days ago now, I was just over 6 weeks pregnant when it started. The hospital scanned me and found nothing. The bleeding has now turned brown from bright red. Pregnancy tests are still showing big fat positive lines. I've got to go back for a scan next monday to check its all come away. I've started losing my mind a little. Like thinking maybe I was having twins and i've only lost one. I know this is not helpful to myself and I need to try to move on with my life, but this is ruining me, I feel depressed and awful. I just want to be pregnant again 😞

[emsler]

Hi Fuzyfelt23, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Only you can know if it will be helpful to you to have hope or whether it will be better to be realistic. My baby didn't develop properly so I knew from week 6 onwards that things weren't going well and I found it easier to accept that and expect a miscarriage (which happened at week 11). However, my husband found it easier to remain hopeful and find positive explanations for everything that was happening. I imagine this is what you're doing with the twins thing - which is of course possible but I suspect if the last scan showed no sac etc it's maybe less likely.

I found it helpful to remember that getting pregnant is the part which can be tricky and having done that, I can relax a little and know that it will happen again once I'm ready. I know how hard it is when the bleeding won't stop and you just want to be able to try again (I'm going through that at the moment) but you just have to remember that it WILL stop, this WON'T last forever and you WILL get the chance to try again. I've also found it helpful to indulge in all the things I avoided while I was trying to get pregnant - lots of wine, seafood and soft cheese! But I appreciate this might not work for everyone.

Ultimately only you can know what will be helpful for you - whether that's talking about it, spending time with friends, distraction etc. I would say that if you really can't cope, see your GP - perhaps they can bring the scan forward?

Sending warm wishes your way.

[Fuzyfelt23]

Thank you, i'm sorry you're also going through it.
I have been more accepting today. I know the worst is over and the bleeding is slowing. I think deep down I know its gone. It's not helpful when people around you fill you with false hope either.

I agree on the coping strategy, red wine is fast becoming a good friend of mine!

I also agree on the getting pregnant part and on the plus, having all these scans and internals the hospital said my bits and pieces all look healthy etc so I'm just hoping that next time we have more luck.

Fingers crossed for you too x

[emsler]

I found exactly the same thing, I knew from very early (weeks before the baby actually died) that things weren't right but everyone around me was insistent that they had a "gut feeling" everything would be okay and that I was just being anxious for no reason. I didn't mind my husband staying positive as that's his coping mechanism and it was his baby too, but it was maddening to hear it from family. I updated one member of my family after a scan saying that development was now 2 weeks behind and the heart rate was very slow so it didn't look good and he replied saying "Glad the news is positive!" - I could have screamed! It's hard as people mean well but sometimes they are the opposite of helpful!

I hope your bleeding stops completely soon and you can get some closure - and can start trying again when you're ready. :) x