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2nd MMC in 4 months - anyone else been through this?

(11 Posts)
Obsidian Tue 18-Oct-16 18:27:29

In July I found out at 5 weeks that my pregnancy had stopped developing, but had to wait until just over 6 weeks to miscarry naturally. Was horrible and sad, but I was unwell with other things at the time, so all the misery merged in to one.

Was delighted to find out in September was pregnant again. Thought I was 8 weeks, so foolishly started to relax. Had some bleeding last night. Scan today confirmed pregnancy stopped developing at 6 weeks. Now just have to wait for the inevitable. Presumably will be worse this time as further on.

Feeling completely devastated. Has anyone else been through this? How do you cope with the waiting (while cruelly still feeling pregnant)? How do you get the confidence back to try again? Feel like the last four months has sucked all the joy out of pregnancy / growing our family.

It took a long time to decide to try again after a traumatic birth / first few months with DD (6) and now I'm just not sure I've got the strength to keep trying / failing. DH being v supportive, but just feeling hopeless.

Any thoughts / sympathy / experiences most welcome! Thanks.

Chottie Tue 18-Oct-16 18:34:54

I was in the same situation as you.

One DD with no probs and then 3 consecutive miscarriages, including one MMC. I thought I would never have another child, but I did and DS arrived safe and well. I didn't think I could do it, but I did and when I held DS in my arms it was worth every moment of worry and stress.

Sending a huge hug xx it really is the pits ........

Obsidian Tue 18-Oct-16 18:43:00

Thanks Chottie - that helps. Yes, it is the worst. Currently veering between sobbing and wanting to drink all the wine. Not sure either reaction is helpful. Also feel so guilty about DD - she deserves a Mum who is not constantly pregnant / exhausted or miscarrying / useless. Don't feel like I'm much fun at the moment. Plus she keeps asking when she's going to have a baby brother or sister, which is heartbreaking sad

EwanWhosearmy Tue 18-Oct-16 18:49:12

Yes, I had similar. MMC at 11 weeks, baby would have been due in March. Pregnant again in Feb, MMC at 7 weeks. DH said we should give up, and while we were still arguing about it, pregnant again. This time baby born in March, almost to the day the other one would have been due. (and I was 42 at the time grin)

Obsidian Tue 18-Oct-16 18:58:42

Nice to hear some happy endings - thanks both. My DH is adamant he wants to keep trying. I'm just not sure I can face it - those first few weeks are so hard, and will be constantly assuming the worst. Plus the gap between DD and a potential sibling gets ever wider...

Chottie Tue 18-Oct-16 23:52:05

Just to say that I have an age gap of 4.5 years between my two DC.

It is fine and is not a problem. They are adults now in their 30s and are really good friends as well as being siblings.... I can't tell you how much joy this brings me seeing them together.

MrsY87 Wed 19-Oct-16 06:54:50

So sorry you are going through this. I've just been through similar, had a mc at 6 weeks at the end of August, conceived again straight away and mc again at the beginning of October also at about 6 weeks, so have been through the rollercoaster of emotions i also have a DD and feel guilty about how i most probably haven't been the best or fun mum for her over the past few months. It's really tough.

I've been to my GP to ask for some blood tests for thyroid, progesterone, clotting etc to see if there is anything causing the mc or whether it is just bad luck. They were surprisingly helpful and agreed to them so it feels like a step in the right direction. Maybe something for you to think about in a few weeks?
I'm also going for acupuncture and have found that talking to someone who isn't emotionally involved like DH or my mum about how I'm feeling has helped me so much.
Give yourself time before you make a decision on whether to try again, I think you will naturally know when you are ready both physically and emotionally. It's such a tough time but you will get through it, flowers

Obsidian Wed 19-Oct-16 16:54:48

Thanks for sharing your experience MrsY87 - sorry to hear you're struggling too. I'm all over the place emotionally, but feeling okay right now! Will investigate acupuncture - as someone else mentioned this too, and I'm willing to try it and see if it helps, especially with the anxiety.

Just made magic potions with DD, which made me feel a bit more positive about everything. However, then read Miscarriage Association leaflet that said chance of having another miscarriage rises with each loss - 28% chance of 3rd after 2 previous. This has not helped my positivity! Also, getting on a bit age-wise, so worried about that too sad

Obsidian Wed 19-Oct-16 16:57:04

Forgot to say, GP and hospital said no tests / investigations available until three consecutive miscarriages, so no joy there.. (Obviously really hope it doesn't come to that!)

MrsY87 Wed 19-Oct-16 18:09:37

On the flip side that is still a 72% chance that everything will be ok next time which is still pretty good odds really, I'm trying to focus on that rather than the other way.

Sorry to hear your GP wasn't helpful, I think I may have just got lucky with my GP as the hospital basically said nothing until a third and that seems fairly normal.

I've found the acupuncture is really helping with anxiety and stress (from both ttc and my stressful job) so I'd definitely recommend it.

Isthisusernamefree Thu 27-Oct-16 15:00:28

I am in exactly the same boat. Had a mmc at the beginning of July, baby had stopped developing at 9+2. Found out I was pregnant again two weeks ago, this morning started having bloody looking discharge and got myself a viability scan this afternoon, finding that there is nothing there. No gestational sack, just some tissue that might have been my baby.

I'm frustrated and I'm sad and I don't even want to try again. I feel like a complete failure, my DP has two children from a former relationship (who keep asking me for a sister) and he must think there's something wrong with me. I can't imagine ever being able to enjoy a pregnancy going forward or even if I want to keep trying, I don't know if I can do this again.

I hope you are all doing ok though, I'm praying for some light at the end of this shitty tunnel.

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