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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Tablets or surgery?

26 replies

littletike · 18/10/2016 15:57

I need to decide by tomorrow morning which option if any....

I have a toddler at home and was due to fly to Spain at the weekend but have had to cancel

Thoughts and experiences would be really appreciated...

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Derbyday · 18/10/2016 18:12

I've done both. ERPC in 2011 and pills today. Today has been horrific - the pain unbearable for over 2 hours. Personally, I would opt for surgery again if I had to choose.

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KittyandTeal · 18/10/2016 18:16

I think it really depends how far you are along.

I've had medical management for a mmc at 14 weeks. I needed to be in hospital for pain relief and, tbh, at that gestation it's not far off labour/giving birth but obviously not as painful or as long (I've been through 'labour' at 14 weeks, 22 weeks and full term to a live baby. 22 weeks was by far the worst and most painful)

I don't have experience of surgery but from other posters I gather it is fairly quick and the pain isn't drawn out as long. I opted for medical as I wanted to see him, have him cremated so he could be with his sister.

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somethingfromnothing · 18/10/2016 18:22

I had surgical option yesterday. I was really worried about the anaesthetic but it was so quick and I felt fine when I woke up. Haven't had too much bleeding or pain. I have a 4 year old at home and was so worried about having a natural mc at home when she was around so I really felt like I needed it to happen at hospital. It's difficult though, I don't think there is an easy option. Sorry for your loss

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AppleMagic · 18/10/2016 18:27

How quickly can they do the erpc? I went for the tablets (was allowed to take them at home) as they told me the wait time for surgery was two weeks and I wanted to have some control over the timings. I was 10weeks with baby measuring 8 and found the tablets ok. It wasn't pleasant but not painful and it was much less traumatic than I expected it to be. I slept through a lot of it, then the worst bit was over in a few minutes. I did then bleed off and on for 8 weeks though which was a bit rubbish so not sure what I'd opt for if I had my time again.

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littletike · 18/10/2016 18:31

I should be 9 weeks but measuring about 6 weeks. I've already been lightly bleeding for a week and it's doing my head in. I just want to get on with my life iyswim?

I think I'll go for the surgical option as I don't fancy DC seeing me suffering either

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littletike · 18/10/2016 18:38

AppleMagic two weeks? They said Thursday if I wanted to be conscious or within 5 days with anaesthetic.

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AppleMagic · 18/10/2016 18:53

I was shocked too. It was Ireland not UK though. I was told that going private would have made no difference either.

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somethingfromnothing · 18/10/2016 19:44

I got scanned on Friday and booked in on the Monday, 2 weeks seems so long to wait!

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washingsomuchwashing · 18/10/2016 19:46

Surgical was absolutely fine for me. Well as fine as these things can be.

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somethingfromnothing · 18/10/2016 19:47

I had bleeding for over a week too littletike and I felt really unwell with it. Since the surgery I have felt much better although I haven't really dealt with the emotional side of it yet because I've been so focused on the physical side of it.

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Selfimproved · 18/10/2016 19:50

I took the tablets and nothing happened, still had to have the surgery.
Not sure if it was the tablets or just my emotional state but they made me feel like the world was going too fast.

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AliBingo · 18/10/2016 23:01

I had two failed medicals and opted for ERPC on 7 October as l have other kids to think about. There was a delay on the day but the procedure and the GA were fine, no pain otlr anything x

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littletike · 19/10/2016 20:15

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

I'm booked in on Monday for surgery though judging by the pain I'm in I'm hoping it will be over by then.

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KittyandTeal · 19/10/2016 20:20

Either way I hope it is as quick and painless as possible.

Be kind and gentle with yourself. Do whatever you need to to get through 💐

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AliBingo · 19/10/2016 20:48

Sorry to hear that you're in pain. Hope it happens quickly, if this is it. Feel free to post later if you have questions or want some company, I'll try and check in and see how you're doing. Ali x

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littletike · 20/10/2016 14:24

Thank you. I'm ok if I keep on top of the pain relief but have woken up two nights now in pain. But the bleeding isn't as heavy as I'd expected or read about though I think I passed the sac earlier. Feels odd to have it in the bin...

I feel strangely calm and detached about it all at the moment.

I am feeling really guilty about dc missing their holiday though and all the missed memories - instead they're stuck indoors with me

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ImogenTubbs · 20/10/2016 21:27

Hope you're ok, OP. I had the surgery last Friday (v similar to you - MMC, should have been 9 weeks, stopped growing just before 7). Not a pleasant experience, but went very smoothly. Managed one day of rest before having to run around after DD again. Only had mild bleeding and pain. Hope that whatever happens you are ok and have support. There'll be plenty more chances to go to Spain - it's not going anywhere!

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ImogenTubbs · 20/10/2016 21:29

Sorry, I somehow missed the detail of your last post when you said you think it's happened already. Clearly not thinking straight still! Hope you're ok.

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AliBingo · 20/10/2016 21:42

Hi littletike, I read your message earlier but couldn't get a reply to send on my phone.

I hope that the sac has passed as it means the worst is over. My pain did stop after the sac passed though, but I continued to bleed for another week. Heaviest day was day sac passed though.

Don't worry about your little one, they won't know what's going on and you will have plenty of other lovely holidays in future.

I felt detached too when mine happened. In a way relieved it had happened rather than hanging over me. But then a lingering sadness that won't go away. And a desperation to be pregnant again, yet terrified at the same time.

How's your pain now? hope it's getting better and the bleeding is lighter. Have you got someone with you? Try and looking after yourself xx

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littletike · 21/10/2016 05:33

Thankyou.

Pain is more like discomfort now but awake at 3.30 am for the third day unable to sleep.

I don't usually crave sweet things but have had constant sugar cravings since this started - trying to control it as the last thing I need is to put on weight!

DP is here but he's annoying me hanging around!

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AliBingo · 21/10/2016 09:54

Hormones are cruel with the carb and sugar cravings aren't they :(

Are you getting out and about at all or staying home? At least it's the weekend now x

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littletike · 21/10/2016 10:08

Been to the supermarket but that's about it. Will try to get out over the weekend but trying to think what to do to entertain dc as I hasn't made any plans as we were due to be away!

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user1476983585 · 21/10/2016 10:37

Hi Littletike, I'm sorry for your loss and I know what you going through. I had op 2 weeks ago due to missed miscarriage at 13 weeks. I felt really down and disattached from the whole everyday life that I forgot about upcoming half term break ,so now need to arrange something for my three kids .Wish you all the best x

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AliBingo · 21/10/2016 10:59

I tried to carry on as normal with mine but just carried loads of pads and spare clothes. Upside was I found it good to be busy and distracted, downside was that I had to pass the sac in a leisure centre toilet while the 3 kids were with me.

There's loads of daft Halloween stuff around here for half term which might be fun, all the local attractions and soft plays and even garden centres are doing stuff.

Look after yourself x

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Crossmyfingerstoes · 21/10/2016 18:05

I to feel your pain. Monday just gone, me and my partner were skipping into our 12 week dating scan to see our baby, after seeing the heartbeat at 7 weeks we weren't expecting what happened. The baby had passed away at 8 weeks, so I had been carrying it for a while and my body wasn't realising it.
We were given loads of information and sent home to come back the next day to speak to a doctor. We chose The surgical (MAV) with local anestestic as I've had the medical way before and found it so traumatic at home. It was arranged for yesterday, I had to take 4 anti-bitotics Wednesday evening, then Thursday morning had to take two micro something and pain killers at 7am. The bleeding had started Wednesday night when I was asleep, and got heavier in the morning. My waters actually went and I saw them come out when I was sat on the toilet and I was stuck sitting on the toilet until I had to leave to go into hospital for the MAV. Then the worst experience of my life happened.
( Please be prepared for TMI and detail. )
When we got to the hospital about a 45 min drive, I walked into Maternity reception to just feel all warm all down my legs and bottom half, and a massive gushy feeling. I waddled to the toilet and everything just came out in one. I am talking the sac and baby. There was so much blood, I just started crying and screaming for my boyfriend who has been SO supportive, and a nurse came in. I was in a bad way and I think a lot of shock. The nurse was so nice and helped clean me up and took me into her office to find where I was to go etc. Then they done an ultra scan to check if it's all gone or I needed help. My womb had totally emptied its self and they said had done a good job. But there was lots of clots of blood stuck just above my uterus - I think - so I had to have a bit of help as they didn't want me passing this on the way home. I just lied on the bed and they inserted a septum thing to open my lower half and just helped clots and blood out. My boyfriend said a lot of blood came out. Then I had to stay and be monitored for around 40 mins and was allowed to go home and rest up, I got signed off work for a week, they did say two weeks but I want to get back to normal asap. I have had a pretty crap ride with it all, but I just want you to see my story and how everyone is different.
Also I am only 24 and my boyfriend is 29. Neither of us smoke or drink and both use the gym regularly and we had a missed miscarriage. :( sadly life sucks sometimes!
More than happy if anyone wants to PM and talk more. Xx