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Confused after miscarriage

(4 Posts)
tawny123 Fri 14-Oct-16 22:18:38

I'm feeling really confused after a mmc at 12 weeks. at the 12 week scan we learnt that the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. I then had to wait a week for a repeat scan although we all knew it wasn't a viable pregnancy. I knew my dates were right. The day before the repeat scan I had a partial natural miscarriage and then an erpc a week ago. Before the op all I could think about was when we could start trying again. Now though I feel really confused and change my mind every other day as to whether or not I want another baby. Has anyone else experienced this? We have a lovely little boy who will be three next month and I feel more lucky than ever to have him after this experience.

MyEternalSunshine Sat 15-Oct-16 15:07:20

So sorry to read this tawny123, i have a 3yo DS and my last two pregnancies ended in miscarriages. The first at 6weeks and the second at 9weeks. It's the worst feeling in the world. Coming home knowing your little one is dead inside you is truly harrowing, I felt completely betrayed by my body. Why has this happened? Why me? Why can't I have another baby? I asked myself questions like these over and over. Miscarriage nine times out of ten has no apparent causes- it just happens. It happens to a lot of women- although this fact does little to ease your pain sad personally I had the same feeling as you I wanted to TTC ASAP after my op, like it would remedy my pain. I waited to have my first period since the last loss and would you believe I conceived that cycle! I am now 26 weeks pregnant with a baby girl, my rainbow baby. 4 pregnancies, 2 children. It does get better OP I promise you. But stay true to yourself, if you want to TTC now you go ahead and do it- if you want to wait then wait. I know and understand the fear you feel, what if you conceive again just to lose another? Unfortunately this may be the case- but it may not. Sorry if this wasn't helpful but I thought I would share smile stay strong flowers

tawny123 Sat 15-Oct-16 22:20:14

Thank you for your reply and wishing you all the very best for the safe arrival of your little girl

RoseAnnear Tue 18-Oct-16 00:22:01

I am probably an exception here. I have never wanted children. I love them and am a favourite Aunty and god mother but never felt the need for any of my own. Until I was told I was pregnant and losing one. In an instant everything changed.

After a traumatic 5 days, where I discovered I had one ectopic foetus and one in the uterus, a ruptured and removed Fallopian tube and a miscarriage I decided I could never go through anything like that again. It's not worth it.

However, when I sit and consider how much I wanted those babies would I be doing myself a disservice to have it change my mind?

Give yourself time. My friend went through 6 losses before her daughter but above all do what is right for you x

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