Advanced search

Miscarriage at 40 or over - secondary infertility

(1 Post)
monkeytree Fri 09-Sep-16 14:55:11


I have 2 dd's and very grateful for them. I have battled infertility for second DD and was fortunate to have her just before I turned 40. Then I very unexpectedly became pregnant again at 41 (which I suspect was to do with breastfeeding hormones) only to go on to have a late miscarriage.

I have little hope that I will have another Dc now (I'm now 42) and have been ttc with no sign of a bfp over the past 16 months.

Anyone else in a similar boat? I heard today that someone else I used to work with is pregnant again at 40 and quite frankly it smarts and this is despite having 2 dd's.

I have had enough of all of this heart break. This infertility battle has gone on for 5 years, granted, I have a lovely DD to show for it but I also have the agony of losing my ds at 20 weeks. I quite frankly, don't want to hear of pregnancies or see pregnant women everywhere, I want to get on with my life but not sure how. The world keeps turning as the say. To most eyes, I have the 'norm' 2.4 children but somehow it doesn't feel like that, literally someone is missing from the family. Why can't I close the book and move on, some of my friends dh's are having vasectomies after their second or going through the menopause. Whilst, I feel this is drastic in preventing further Dc, part of me wishes the early menopause which I am promised would happen and not keep me dangling in this awful place of being not being completely infertile but being highly infertile. I should be grateful I've had my miracle right.....but what I feel is anger and sadness and frustration.
I really think I've lost hope, I've stopped taking vitamins and started comfort eating as well as drinking wine none of these are conducive to ttc. I need to get my body back in shape but there seems little point doing it just for me and that seems incredibly sad, it's like the incentive has gone.

I was grateful to have 2 dd's before I lost my third Dc. Everyone I know seems to have gone on to have another Dc following miscarriage but being older with few eggs this is unlikely for me. Demoralising, devastating and one hell of a hit on self esteem. I feel I've had enough of it all but can't seem to leave it all behind.

Anyone else relate?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now