Just sac no yolk on scan with high HcG - not coping

[Vida32]

Hi,
I've read some of the posts here and I know that others have been through so much. I feel guilty for posting about this because it's not come to the worst yet but I'm just not coping and I'm desperate.

This is my first pregnancy. After some spotting and a little discomfort I was sent to EPU on Monday when I should have been 6+1 according to LMP. They scanned and found a small, empty sac - no yolk, no fetal pole. The sonographer said she would have expected to see more if I was 6+1 and this looked more like 4-5. It seemed perfectly possible dates were just out but they tested my HcG and it was 18000, which would be sky high at 4-5 and places me at about 6-7.

When they rang up with the HcG results, the nurse sounded so sad on the phone. I have another scan next week on Thursday to try to find out what's going on but they've already said they expect a blighted ovum.

The problem is I'm not coping at all. I keep telling myself things could be so much worse - they've caught it early and other people have been through tougher things than this and coped okay. I've even read about people online miscarrying at work and just getting on with it or taking a day off and then going on with life. It hasn't even happened to me yet and I'm awake most of the night every night worrying and crying every day. It's hugely disrupting work, to the extent that I have had to call in sick today. I feel like such a failure in every way. I know this reaction is extreme but I can't seem to get it under control.

I don't have anyone to talk to except for DH as we haven't told anyone else yet. TBH I think this whole experience is exposing other problems that I have. I'm really struggling in my current job and am afraid I'm going to be sacked. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for years and recently came off my medication so we could TTC. I would have put it off for longer to try to get myself together a bit more but we are up against it in terms of my age.

I know there's no advice anyone can give really. I just needed to say this somewhere because I feel like I'm falling apart.

[loz12345]

Vida, I couldn't read and run I had a scan this morning sounds like I am in the same situation as you but I have to wait 10 days for a rescan. Don't give up hope yet but try and not get your hopes up too much either

Worse case scenario Deal with it however is right for you, everyone copes with it in a different way. Don't feel like someone is coping with it better than you because they are probably not. I am one of the people who is just getting on with it (u may have seen my thread) but I don't have a choice as I have a ds who still needs feeding, bathing and taking to school among with a hundred other things a day, if I could I would lock myself in my room till it was over.

I am on my 3rd mc so I was expecting it and have had experience of dealing with it unfortunately which makes it easier.

You will get through this just give yourself as much time as you need to grieve to other people it is just one of those things to you it was your baby and future.

Remember this may be the one and only time you go through this and one day when you are ready you will have another chance.

Please be kind to yourself and speak to the epu if you are struggling emotionally they can usually direct you to someone who can help x x x

[Holdtheslaw]

This happened to me - the outcome is currently sat opposite me watching we can cook on c beebies - literally try and ignore this early scan.

[Dustpan]

Hi vida
So sorry you're going through this. The uncertainty is v difficult I think, almost harder than if or when a mc actually happens.

I hear you when you say the strain of this is bringing other pre existing a pressures to the surface. I think it's wise you're aware of them, but right now you maybe need to shelve them if u can until u have a clearer sense after the next scan.

Try to take each hour or day at a time. Work if you can work. Think about strategies to tell work if you can't. Best way for them to hear it is if u can be calm and clear about what you can or cannot do right now so they know where they stand. I'm currently off work as I started to mc on Monday. My boss is a good guy but doesn't like emotion so I got my DH to call him & explain what's happening & I need a week off. Then I spent a few hours working at home to pull together a detailed handover note and sent it to my boss so he knows where things are at. It's made me feel better about taking the time off, but I know everyone's job is different and this may not be possible for everyone.

Sending you strength x

[Dustpan]

Ps re antidepressants - it's v normal to have ups and downs for few months after stopping them as brain is learning to balance its own levels. Not to mention then the rush of hormones in the mix from pregnancy. Things should balance out in the longer term but in the short term if you feel you can't cope you need to contact your GP straight away to ask for help. There are some antidepressants which are safer than others to use in preg if needed.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

Try and stay positive OP, you don't know for sure yet and absolutely no amount of worrying will change anything. The stress is bad for both you and any potential baby.

loz

[Vida32]

Thank you so much everyone for your replies. I have read through them again and again and it has been so comforting to say all this somewhere and get a response.

I was very tired and nauseous last week and over the weekend, which didn't help. I have, however, been into work every day this week so far and I've been getting stuff done, so I feel quite proud of that. I think over time I'm becoming a little more adjusted to the idea. I'm not so nauseous or tired today and I don't know whether that's because I feel slightly less worked up or whether it is the symptoms subsiding because of what may be going on.

The scan is tomorrow and I'll be hoping for the best but very much expecting the worst. I have decided I will take some time off work afterwards if the worst does happen. I know not everyone does this but I'm trying to allow myself to accept that it's okay to take some time if I need it.

Thanks again for all the support.

[Vida32]

Thank you so much everyone for your replies. I have read through them again and again and it has been so comforting to say all this somewhere and get a response.

I was very tired and nauseous last week and over the weekend, which didn't help. I have, however, been into work every day this week so far and I've been getting stuff done, so I feel quite proud of that. I think over time I'm becoming a little more adjusted to the idea. I'm not so nauseous or tired today and I don't know whether that's because I feel slightly less worked up or whether it is the symptoms subsiding because of what may be going on.

The scan is tomorrow and I'll be hoping for the best but very much expecting the worst. I have decided I will take some time off work afterwards if the worst does happen. I know not everyone does this but I'm trying to allow myself to accept that it's okay to take some time if I need it.

Thanks again for all the support.

[Vida32]

Thank you so much everyone for your replies. I have read through them again and again and it has been so comforting to say all this somewhere and get a response.

I was very tired and nauseous last week and over the weekend, which didn't help. I have, however, been into work every day this week so far and I've been getting stuff done, so I feel quite proud of that. I think over time I'm becoming a little more adjusted to the idea. I'm not so nauseous or tired today and I don't know whether that's because I feel slightly less worked up or whether it is the symptoms subsiding because of what may be going on.

The scan is tomorrow and I'll be hoping for the best but very much expecting the worst. I have decided I will take some time off work afterwards if the worst does happen. I know not everyone does this but I'm trying to allow myself to accept that it's okay to take some time if I need it.

Thanks again for all the support.

[Vida32]

Thank you so much everyone for your replies. I have read through them again and again and it has been so comforting to say all this somewhere and get a response.

I was very tired and nauseous last week and over the weekend, which didn't help. I have, however, been into work every day this week so far and I've been getting stuff done, so I feel quite proud of that. I think over time I'm becoming a little more adjusted to the idea. I'm not so nauseous or tired today and I don't know whether that's because I feel slightly less worked up or whether it is the symptoms subsiding because of what may be going on.

The scan is tomorrow and I'll be hoping for the best but very much expecting the worst. I have decided I will take some time off work afterwards if the worst does happen. I know not everyone does this but I'm trying to allow myself to accept that it's okay to take some time if I need it.

Thanks again for all the support.

[Vida32]

Sorry - I've no idea why it's posted multiple times!!!!

[loz12345]

Vida,

Good luck for tomorrow, be kind to yourself this evening and tomorrow whatever the results are x x x x

[Ahelpinghand123]

So sorry you are going through, i am to 😓😓
This is my 6th miscarriage , i went last Fri to the EPU with brown spotting. They gave me a scan and then an internal scan, and told me that there was a sac & placenta but no baby 😓 i was 11wks 5days , i felt completely broken... I refused a repeat scan as there was no way my dates were that wrong , i tested positive on 18th July , just wasn't possible for it to be a 5wk pregnancy.
I was advised to go hone and ' let nature take its course'

I really hope you gave dates wrong and when u go for your repeat scan you see ur beautiful hubba.sending live at this tough time xxxxxx

[Vida32]

Back from scan and I can hardly believe it. Good news! The minute waiting where the sonographer wasn't saying anything felt like an hour. Then very matter of fact they said 'Okay, I can see a baby and a heartbeat.' The dates were off. They've no idea why the HcG was so high last week - just one of those things. I had HcG levels of 6 weeks at 5 weeks and am 6 weeks today they think with a good heartbeat. Absolutely wiped out now - hardly slept last night. Thanks so, so much for all the good wishes and advice. I'm so sorry it can't always be good news and really admire the strength and compassion shown by everyone on this board. Thank you!

[loz12345]

Vida, thats amazing news fingers crossed the next few months will be drama free and baby will be here safe and sound before u know it x x

[FuckyNell]

Lovely brws

[FuckyNell]

News!

[Ahelpinghand123]

So happy for you 💖 try to relax a little now, enjoy pregnancy Xxxx