Help? Think I'm miscarrying and in a lot of pain

[SloanePeterson]

Im meant to be 9+3 but since this morning have been having streaks of red blood when I wipe. The bloat I've been suffering from has also disappeared completely. I'm now (sorry) sat on the loo with the most awful stomach cramps, which tbh feel more like a sickness/diarrhoea thing rather than period pains. It's coming in waves which worries me. I've pretty much resigned to miscarrying but is such pain normal? I had a miscarriage earlier this year at 6 weeks but that was just like a very heavy period, no real pain out of the ordinary. Is this just par for the course or something to worry about?

[Lucinda15]

Hello OP I'm so sorry you are going through this. I've had 3 mc's and had what felt like contractions with the ones at 8 and 11.5 weeks (I have been in labour before with my DS so I knew). I had a few hours of these painful cramps coming in waves and then began to bleed quite heavily. The one at 8 weeks I would say was more like a heavy period and I could use pads, but the one at 11.5 week was quite a constant flow and I couldn't really leave the toilet. Stay close to the toilet if u can (don't go out) and drink plenty of water. I wld only worry if you start to pass blood clots larger than a 50p piece or if u need to change your pad every hour. then contact your epu/out of hours service. Not to alarm you, but if they advise going to a&e I would suggest calling an ambulance. Blood loss is serious, and they won't think you are being dramatic. And when u arrive you will be seen straight away. I unfortunately went there with DH (on our own) and had a terrible 4 hr wait in the waiting room before being seen. Not a good experience!

There is a good thread on here about coping with the practicalities of miscarriage, see if you can find it and read. Good advice and tips on there. Sending love and hope it passes quick for you. So sorry xxx

[Lucinda15]

This is the link to the advice thread. I hope it helps a bit;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/1344311-Tips-for-coping-with-the-practicalities-of-miscarriage

[SloanePeterson]

Thank you lucinda x I've actually had quite bad diarrhoea but the cramps are still coming, I have a bit of relief between them like now where I'm just lying on the cold floor. I feel exhausted have had proper deep red blood now too so no doubt about what's happening. I hope it won't be too and that we have to go to hospital, 3 small dd and not many babysitters close by and I wouldn't want to go without dh.

[Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016]

I mc at 8 weeks after contractions and the urge to push. Delivered a perfect tiny feotus and sac and lots of blood. Just be prepared it may be the same for you and not clots here and there. I didn't phone anyone as scan the previous day had showed baby had died. I have kids and laboured before (ob) so felt confident to stay at home in private. Any worries tho phone the hospital. Sorry this is happening. X

[SloanePeterson]

I think I may have just passed the baby, but if I have it's much much smaller than I was expecting. Sorry for the coming description, but it's like a soft but tough bit of tissue, pretty much comma shaped and very tiny, smaller than the white of my little finger nail. It has a darker line inside from top to bottom, I guess the spine?it was on the loo roll when I wiped. I guess that means I'd lost it a few weeks back? No wonder I've been feeling so poorly. I've been taking spatone iron supplements, should I up my dose of that? I assume I'm about to lose a hell of a lot of blood. The stomach cramps are still awful, I really did expect more contraction type pains rather than an upset stomach

[Whooptydoo1]

I don't have any advice but have had 4mc in the last 18 months and I couldn't read and run, I'm so sorry this is happening to u, are u on ur own? Xx

[SloanePeterson]

I'm not on my own no, dh is home though tbh I'd rather be in here alone, the things coming out of me are not pleasant. I have really bad diarrhoea and have been sat here with my phone trying to distract myself. He did get me some Imodium and my hot water bottle though. I feel very guilty and sad for him. This is the second miscarriage we've had this year and both would have been our first child together. I breezed through my other pregnancies so I'm now quite concerned about why this is happening. I'm not sure i can bring myself to try again. I also feel bad that I'd been worrying if we'd cope, my son has autism and things are often a struggle. Now I feel awful for having questioned whether a baby was the right thing. I'd quite like to sleep or have a bath but I think in going to be stuck here all night

[purpleviolet1]

So sorry to hear you are going through this op I've had two miscarriages this year . One at 12 weeks (baby had stopped growing at 8+3) (medically managed) and one at 6 weeks (natural). I saw the fetus the first time and it was perfectly formed. I could see the beginning of two eyes, hands and feet.

It's so hard to go through. Can you phone the EPU in the morning?

[Whooptydoo1]

First of all, this is absolutely not your fault, it's nothing that u have done or not done, I've had every test available to me and they've found nothing wrong, despite me having had two normal pregnancies previously with the same father, in 70% of women with recurrent mc they don't ever find out what has gone wrong. It's natural to feel guilty, that doesn't mean u should, I understand it tho as I have felt the same. With each mc I felt worse, I lost confidence in my body and was exhausted by the stress of it all. Perhaps the best thing might b to have a break from trying for a couple of months, and then think about it again? Ur experiencing something horrible and its happening right now, but it will pass. Keep talking on here if it helps, or there is a lot of other mc support u can access, I wish I could help u feel better xx

[SloanePeterson]

It just feels so brutal, like I've lost my carefree attitude to pregnancy I suppose. I never doubted my pregnancies would end with healthy children. And now I can't go back to that and it scares me. I'm actually far more upset this time, when i miscarried in February I'd only known about the pregnancy for just over a week, I suppose I wasnt quite so attached and it didn't seem to affect me, I had a week of awful heavy bleeding but just got on with it. But this time I've been thinking about where to squeeze a crib, I even had the names picked out. I started to get blood this morning and I just knew it would end the same way. My stomach feels much more settled now, no cramps for about half an hour so the Imodium must have worked. Is it ok for me to have a bath or should i have a shower instead? I have the most irrational urge to shave my legs, I'm sat here staring at how awful they look. Is there any point in going to the epu? I've not even contacted a midwife yet, I was worried I'd have to cancel the booking in appointment like I did last time. If I feel better in a few days is it ok to assume that that's it?

[Whooptydoo1]

It is fucking brutal, it hurt more with every mc I had, like all your hopes accumulate, I felt like if I loved "them" enough and tried to hold on to them it would be ok, your experiencing emotional and physical pain and it's horrible, I think u should do whatever makes u feel comfortable, the bath might help your cramps a bit, shave ur legs if u want, practical things like that always distract me, though my body hair situation could be described as "sprawling" right now! I was advised by the epu to wait 3 weeks and make sure I had a negative preg test, but if u think it would help, I'd def ring them, they may be able to put your mind at rest, I'm glad ur tummy is feeling a bit better. Be kind to yourself x

[SloanePeterson]

I managed to get some sleep, i woke up in the night with definate cramps rather than the dodgy stomach pains. Nothing too bad. But my pad is clean and when I wiped this morning it's just some brown streaks. Now in really confused. I was expecting a lot of blood and clots. Will that come later?

[Whooptydoo1]

I would have expected the bleeding to continue for longer, I really would contact the epu at the hospital for some advice, they'll be able to help by confirming that you've def experienced a miscarriage and to advise u about your options if everything doesn't come away naturally, I'm glad u managed to get some rest, the epu can also provide u with some emotional support, if you're not sure about whether your local hospital has an epu ring ur gp and they will point u in the right direction

[SleepDeprivedAndCranky]

I'm sorry for your loss. I suggest contacting your gp just in case you need medical care, they can advise you best.

[SloanePeterson]

I need some reassurance if anyone can help. The last few days has been like a lift period but now blood is pouring out and I'm a bit scared. I wasn't prepared for this at all. I'm at home thank God and was actually, of all things, trying to fit a new toilet seat when I felt my jeans flood. I'm now stuck on the loo and my bathroom looks like a crime scene. I'm not in any pain but I can't believe the amount of blood and clots that I'm losing. I have to collect my son at half past eleven and I'm petrified. Is this level of blood loss normal?

[FXSkip]

Hi sloane sorry to hear you've had such a shit time. Has the bleeding eased at all? Do you have any maternity pads? The general recommendation is that if you are going through more than a pad an hour call an ambulance, or if you start to feel weak or sick at all. I had a similar experience with a few days of very light bleeding after the initial 'loss' and then had all the cramps/contractions. Can you ask someone to collect your son for you?

[LuchiMangsho]

If you are going to through more than a pad an hour you need to phone for an ambulance.

[SloanePeterson]

Thank you x I've had a very strange day. I called 111 as the blood wasn't stopping and they called me an ambulance which made me burst into tears for some reason. They were there incredibly quick, phoned my husband who thankfully works close and let me stay at home til he got there. My blood pressure has been all over the place and the clots I've passed have been unbelievable, I'm almost embarrassed that I thought the tiny thing I passed on Tuesday had any significance. I was in resuss for a while while they did various tests, and filled several bed pans. I have been truly shocked by how violent a miscarriage can be. I was given a Erpc this evening as the blood loss wasn't slowing at all, and now they're keeping me in which I know they must but I so wish I was at home. The staff have been without exception truly lovely and I feel very looked after. I can't go through this again though, this is it for me. I feel a bit numb to it all, I've cried a bit but I feel it's going to hit me in a day or two and be absolutely devastating

[Whooptydoo1]

I'm so sorry OP, this must be such an awful thing to be going through, I'm glad you're at the hospital though so they can look after you and make sure you're ok, hopefully you'll be able to go home tomorrow and get some rest xxx

[WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup]

I'm so sorry. I feel I have nothing useful to say. I'm sorry

[Avengerhart85]

So very sorry for your loss

[Lucinda15]

I'm so sorry op. I had a very similar experience. It was the worst night of my life and has taken me a long time to come to terms with.

First of all, just look after yourself physically. I took 2 weeks off work, but probably needed more. I was weak and needed iron supplements for a long time, about 3 months. I was given iron tablets by the hospital but then chose to take floradix which is a good vitamin/iron tonic and very good for u. Can buy in boots/Holland and Barrett. Rest up, eat well, and nurture yourself. Don't feel you have to be 'over this' or move on any sooner than you feel ready. I think a lot of people think miscarriage is just a bad period on the sofa with chocolate for an afternoon. I have had miscarriages like that, yes. But people don't seem to know it can also be a very serious and traumatic event like what has happened to you. And I felt myself trying to pretend I was better before I was. Don't belittle what has happened. Take your time to recover.

Emotionally, things may take time for you. I was shell shocked for a few weeks. I felt very low for a long time after and would get flashbacks now and then. I felt I needed to talk about it, and I referred myself for counselling via my GP. The waiting list was 2-3 months. I know it's early days but if you think that's something you might want, I would refer yourself soon. And if by the time it comes around, you don't want it, you can then refuse it. But don't wait until u really need it to ask for it because of the wait list. I think mind uk offer counselling and their wait list is under a month I think. But there is a fee.

Please know that you're not alone. i am so sorry for what has happened and I'm sending lots of love and strength. You will get through this.

[puddleduk1]

So sorry to read this. I had a similar experience 2 weeks ago and I've found the mental trauma has been as hard to deal with as the physical trauma. Give yourself plenty of time to rest and recover, and be kind to yourself. I hope you've had an okay night, and can go home today. Keep talking to us all, I found it's helped a lot. I wish we could make this subject less of a taboo.
Sending a big hug xx