Trying to be brave

[Gibson37]

Hi all, I am in the process of a miscarriage in that I have lost the baby but am just waiting for it to happen naturally. To everyone on the outside I'm my normal happy self but inside I can't quite cope. I cry when I am on my own and just can't quite get on top of my emotions. And there doesn't seem anyone to talk to. Currently sitting in my car in a shopping car park crying. So unlike me! It will pass right? Xxx

[pinkieandperkie]

Sending hugs to you. I'm so sorry. X

[MonkeyPoozzled76]

Gibson I'm so sorry for your loss and am sending hugs too.

There are lots of us here on this board who have been through or a currently going through the same thing. I had no one in RL to speak with about this so have found this forum a huge comfort and a good source of information. You are not alone at all, keep talking to us and we can all help each other to cope. Xxx

[Gibson37]

Thank you both xxx

[pinkieandperkie]

We are here if you need to talk. I know how hard this is for you but in time things will get better. One day at a time lovely x

[omri]

I'm so sorry for your loss Gibson. I really got a lot of comfort from fellow MNers when I lost my little one. The thing that others said to me that I will say to you is to be kind to yourself right now. It is so painful to go through but you will get through it. Treat yourself to something. Do what you need to get through this.

[ktkaye]

As others have said, be kind to yourself. I lost a baby last year and even though I'm pregnant again, the feelings of deep sadness and loss for my first baby creep up on me still every so often - there are so many women on here and in RL who know exactly what you are going through, you aren't alone, but it can feel lonely. It does get easier over time but it will always be a part of you in some way. Things are so raw at the moment, take time to feel how you feel. 💐💐

[user1471558631]

I am really sorry for your loss.
I had a 12 week scan, baby had no heartbeat, miscarried naturally 4 days later.
I did call the miscarriage association & found them really helpful.
Look after yourself xx

[newmummyagain]

I suffered a miscarriage in 2014 and my username will probably tell you that I've had a baby since.

I was just talking to my husband yesterday about how much easier it has got. I know I've got another baby now, but even before then.

The pain is so much at the beginning, and probably the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with but it really does get easier.

It's so hard for women to go through these things. Not only is it a terrible loss, but you have do endure it physically and hormonally too.

I let myself have a week before I made a decision regarding how I 'managed' the miscarriage. Our hospital were very supportive. We went back in to ask more questions and i couldn't take it all in on the day I found out.

We then decided to manage it surgically but only once I had another scan to confirm everything so I didn't have any doubts. But i completely understand your decision. I'm only saying it in case it's fear of ending it yourself which I understand is an incredibly hard thing to come to terms with.

But physically it was a great decision as it was such an easy recovery, meant I didn't have to see anything that would have upset me. They dealt with me so sensitively in the day surgery.

Then it's just a case of taking it a day at a time. People around me understood that I would sometimes just cry, but as time went on that became less and less.

Are you able to talk to your partner about it? Do you have girlfriends who you can just chat to? Often people want to help you but don't know how to. Most will gladly lend an ear.

It gets so much easier, i promise x

[pinkieandperkie]

I agree newmummy, when I miscarried people just didn't know what to say to me in real life. Many said nothing for fear of upsetting me. It's a very difficult and emotional time but time does help.

[UnicornPee]

I had a MC I May and had only told two people- my OH & the midwife I had a booking in app with.
My coping mechanism is to be a believer in fate. It wasn't meant to be. And as It turns out, a few things have happened since that, if I had been pregnant it wouldnt have happened (promotion, payrise, coping with a sudden family death etc)
I'm now pregnant again and have passed the 8weeks I was at when it happened. I find I will be on edge the whole of the pregnancy though and worried something will go wrong.

[user1471558631]

Congratulations Unicorn Pee

[Gibson37]

It's very reassuring hearing from everyone and knowing there is support out there! Thank you all. And it's also nice hearing that people have got past it all and that it gets better. Glad I posted xxx

[omri]

How are you feeling this morning Gibson?

[KittyandTeal]

I'm sorry for your loss.

Don't try to be brave, let yourself feel whatever it is you are feeling. Don't force yourself to he ok, you're not! Something really rubbish has happened.

I tried so hard to be brave and strong when we lost dd2 and it did me no favours. When we lost ds I didn't try to he brave and it was much easier to deal with as I was t battling myself.

Let yourself grieve.

[Banana82]

Hello Gibson. Sorry to hear you are going through this. You are not alone and your emotions sound the same as mine. I had my scan confirming my miscarriage nearly 3 weeks ago and had my op last week. I'm also all over the place. Thought I would be better once it was all over but I actually feel worse. I told DH the other day that I didn't think I was coping too well and I was scared cos I've never felt like this. I take heart that it gets better cos at the moment it's just heartbreaking.

[Anbelmum]

I'm so sorry. I went through a late loss last year and I'm now sat cuddling my perfect newborn daughter. I still cry about my lost son when I'm on my own but if it hadn't have happened I wouldn't now have my little girl. I framed a quote saying 'Good things are going to happen' and had it next to my bed so it was the first thing I saw every morning - think positive. You will get through it and it will get easier.