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D&C tommorw for a MMC at 10+3, advice or experiences?

(26 Posts)
MonkeyPoozzled76 Wed 17-Aug-16 19:24:13

I'm just looking for some experiences of a D&C, during and aftwrwards, as want to be as prepared as I can be.

I went for a scan today at 10+3 with a view to having a Harmony test as I am just about 40ish. Unfortunately although the baby measured 10+ weeks and looked prefect there was no movement or heart beat. Private Dr. told me that this mostly likely only happened very recently as baby was measuring as expected for my dates. I was referred to my local hospital this afternoon and all confirmed by another scan. I've decided to go for D&C and luckily am booked for tomorrow. I suspect things may start naturally tonight as have pains and some spotting. Just really want to know 'properly' what to expect as the leaflets we've been given only have basic info.

Very lucky to have DH looking after me but feel completely blindsided by everything today.

Thanks

jpeg28 Wed 17-Aug-16 19:28:58

I'm so so sorry for your loss. I can't give you advice on a D&C as my MC was at 7 weeks so it happened at home. My only advice would be to rest and take as much time off work as you can. I didn't realise how hard it would hit me emotionally. I took a week but I think I wish I took more time. I got af back 6 weeks after but everyone is different. There is a great thread called TTC after miscarriage with loads of lovely ladies on... I would post on there as I'm sure someone can give you some advice. Take care flowers

SauvignonPlonker Wed 17-Aug-16 19:42:18

I'm so sorry you're going through this. flowers
I had a MMC at 11.5 weeks, with no symptoms, age 40 as well & had an ERCP the next day.

It was a case of going along to day surgery in the morning, fasting. I then saw the Dr, anaesthetist etc.

Then I had to insert a pessary to soften the cervix. I was last on the theatre list as it takes a wee while to work. So there was a bit of hanging around, so I was glad I had taken magazines, books etc (also to take my mind off things).

I woke up a bit crampy & sleepy, but had very little bleeding afterwards. I went home to bed & rested up, I needed to have someone with me for the rest of the day.

I felt a bit uncomfortable for a day or 2, but certainly wasn't in pain. I could have been back at work within a day or two physically, but was too emotional so I had a couple of weeks off.

My next period came when expected & I was advised I could TTC straight after it. I did & became pregnant right away, DD was born when I was 41.

Take care of yourself, I hope everything goes ok for you.

MonkeyPoozzled76 Wed 17-Aug-16 19:51:13

Thank you jpeg and thank you Sauvignon that really helpful info and lovely to hear you have your DD now.

Purpleprickles Wed 17-Aug-16 19:52:59

I'm so sorry you are going through this tooflowers I had an erpc last year and it was very straight forward. My local NHS trust put the erpcs first on the day surgery list so I was in by about 8am and it was a very fast procedure. I was terrified of the GA having never had one but it was fine. I'd had to wait just over a week to confirm that my baby wasn't growing and it definitely was a mmc so the feeling of being knocked out from the worry and misery and waking up for the first time in many days feeling utterly relaxed was lovely.

I had period type pains on the day and then bled lightly for about two weeks. I did have a few odd days where it was heavier. I was back at work very quickly but then did end up getting signed off about 6 weeks later for the whole emotional side of it. My approach at first was get on with life but later I realised I needed time to grieve so be kind to yourself and don't rush anything.

Amazingly after 5 years of secondary infertility I got pg straight after the mmc from just one time of dtd. So it does seem, if you feel ready to try, you can be super fertile straight after. The surgeon who came to see me after said try when you feel ready. I know some say give it one cycle for dating purposes. I now have a healthy dd of 5 months. I'm 39 as well.

Good luck tomorrow it's a bloody awful and heartbreaking place to be. Surround yourself by people who will listen and the mc boards on here are lovely.

fuzzywuzzy Wed 17-Aug-16 20:01:19

Hi Monkey, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had an SMM in May due to a MMC, I was advised not to eat anything twelve hours before surgery and no drinks including water six hours before. They gave me a general anaesthetic and afterwards I had to use a sanitary towel for a week or so, get soft sanitary towels the own brand ones at the supermarket as the other kind chafe.

I was prescribed ibuprofen and paracetamol by the hospital before being discharged, and dp took me home. I felt tired and slightly spaced out after the operation and slept a lot for the first day. Was fine afterwards but signed off work for two weeks. Which I took as I needed the time off to be honest.

My first SMM didn't work, so I had a second (above is second), after first one, I bled a lot and was in agony on and off for a week before I rang the GP for advice, who sent me straight back to the EPAU. So keep it in mind, if you're in pain afterwards or feel pain after a week or so, don't hesitate to go back.

I hope everything goes well for you, make sure you have someone to pick you up afterwards the procedure itself isn't long at all I was in and out in a couple of hours.

xx

Snowflakes1122 Wed 17-Aug-16 20:40:38

I'm so sorry sad

The same thing happened to me a month ago. My baby died 11 and a bit weeks.
I opted for medical management, and it resulted in an emergency d&c after major blood loss. I wish I had opted for it on the first place, as it isn't scary or painful. You just sleep through it all and wake up and it's over.
Afterwards, you'll probably feel a little groggy from the anaesthetic, but that wears off quickly.

Be kind to yourself and stick up on proper maternity pads. Arrange to have someone around for the first few days/week or so until you feel emotionally and physically a bit better.

Your bleeding afterwards should last up to two weeks. Mine was very light and stop started.

Emotionally you'll unserstandably be up and down. It helped me to talk through it all with my dh and sometimes just no talking and just a hug. Make sure you have that support around you.

In terms of my cycle, my first period came a month after so looks like my body is back into routine already.

Good luck for tomorrow. flowers

MonkeyPoozzled76 Wed 17-Aug-16 22:08:45

Thank you everyone, reading your experiences is really helping feel like I can get through tomorrow. I've got DH to read too so he knows what's going to happen.

Just very sorry we've gone through this but I do feel less alone with your replies.

FourForYouGlenCoco Wed 17-Aug-16 23:36:22

I really am truly sorry this has happened to you. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. flowers
I've had 2 MMCs and 2 ERPCs. First MMC picked up at dating scan at 13w, baby died about 10w. I went in for an ERPC the next day. As everyone has said, it was very straightforward and simple - fasting from midnight or so, a bit of waiting around beforehand, the usual pre-op stuff (informed consent, risks, etc), then into theatre, they asked me to count down from 10 and I think I got to about 7 and that was that! Woke up a few hours later, was a bit disorientated from the GA and emotionally wrecked but physically ok and was discharged that day. Bled for a bit, spotted on and off for a while and periods took a few months to go back to normal, but all ok.
Second MMC was found at 10.5w and was an anembryonic pregnancy - sac measured about 5w with nothing in it. I started miscarrying naturally but haemhorraged and ended up being blue lighted in for an emergency ERPC, so all a little bit scary/hurried, but otherwise much the same and again, very straightforward. Was v relieved to wake up and not be pouring blood any more! I was pretty knackered and wiped out after that, but that was largely down to anaemia thanks to the haemhorrage - a few weeks of iron and I was right as rain.
ERPC has definitely been the right choice for me. Obviously miscarriage is emotionally draining, but for me I found it easier to start to move on once I wasn't pregnant any more.

I know it won't be much help or comfort to you now, because it wasn't to me, but I have a happy ending - I didn't try again straight away after my first mmc, but fell pregnant the first month we did try and my daughter was born healthy and perfect with no problems. I did try again straight after my second MMC, had another early (natural) MC, then fell right after that with pg#5 - and currently have a 3 week old asleep in my arms. He was due 5 months to the day after my original due date. Both my kids feel that bit more precious to me because of what we went through to get them - and hellish as it was at the time, I'd go through it again in a heartbeat to have them. I see it as if I hadn't lost those pregnancies, I wouldn't have these babies, and I wouldn't change either of them for the world.
I hope tomorrow isn't too awful for you OP, and I really do hope with all my heart that things work out for you in the end.

MonkeyPoozzled76 Wed 17-Aug-16 23:52:50

Thank you four, all the happy endings do help. This is was my first pregnancy and I do want to try again, reading yours and previous op's words gives me some comfort that all is not lost flowers

SauvignonPlonker Thu 18-Aug-16 08:01:47

Thinking of you today, flowers

Snowflakes1122 Thu 18-Aug-16 08:14:10

FourForYouGlenCoco-huge congratulations. Lovely to are positive outcomes.

Good luck for today OP. Will be over soon flowers

Snowflakes1122 Thu 18-Aug-16 08:14:40

See not are.

Purpleprickles Thu 18-Aug-16 09:01:53

Thinking of you today Monkey X

MonkeyPoozzled76 Fri 19-Aug-16 11:39:17

Hello all, just wanted to come back and update and thank you all for your kind words and support. This is very long, but I feel like I need to get it all out of my head, so feel free to skip.

Yesterday was very, very hard but all went smoothly. Was admitted at 11am but didn't get taken down till 4pm so worst bit was waiting on a very busy ward with lots of prgnancy related other stuff going on. Lots of babies and toddlers in and out as well which I didn't expect as was on the day surgery ward.

I had a good chat with the anaesthetist as had a very bad experience with a GA 20yrs ago resulting on ten years of bastard panic attacks, she took lots of time to explain everything, most importantly where and how I'd wake up. Paper work with the doctor was upsetting, although thanks to lots of reading I expected most of it. It really frightened DH though he didn't know about any of the risks. Also got asked about preferences about how to handle the remains, this completely floored me, I'd certainly mention if I had a friend going through the same as it was just such a shock, I don't know if this is standard.

All the nurses were very kind and DH and I couldn't have asked for better care. Had the tablets put in and was taken down 45 mins later. I was back on the ward 90mins later, very cold and uncontrollable shaking so ended up wrapped in blankets for a while. Pain was not as bad as I thought and although I was absolutely terrified I'm relieved everything is complete. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to have to wait to have this procedure for days, I really feel for any one who has.

Finally calmed down then had to be stripped down and have fans pointed at me for an hour for a high temp!? Felt much more with it after a drink and a bit of toast. I was sat back on the sofa at home by 8pm.

I'm a bit sore down there and apart from some heavyish bleeding and cramps last night it has all tailed off this morning. I was told to expect 'period type' bleeding for a week or so, my periods are very heavy with lots of clots and pain, so I was expecting much worst. Maybe it'll start up when my pregancy hormones drop?

Physically I think I'm ok but I have no idea about emotionally. I haven't been able to sleep for the last two nights so I fully expect for it to hit me after the shock wears off, I have a history of anxiety and low mood so will keep check and have numbers for help if needs be.

I am so thankful for you all sharing your experiences above with me and really sorry for your losses. This really is such a shit thing to go through. I've never talked about miscarriage properly with anyone in RL or dealing with the aftermath. I couldn't have explained why or how at any point but I think I knew this was going to happen to me, specially the last week, although I was advised the baby had only died a day before my scan on Wednesday. I'd read lots of previous threads on here. I would have been completely under prepared with out that so am so thankful for the knowledge I've gained. It's certainly something that should be talked about more.

Here's to lots of a healing and some more happy endings for every one on this board.

Thanks again mumsnetters flowers

Snowflakes1122 Fri 19-Aug-16 12:40:59

Big hugs flowers
It's an utterly horrid experience the whole thing.

So glad all went smoothly as it could. It's over now, so just rest. You'll need to some time to heal emotionally and physically now.

Yes, they also asked me about what to do with the remains. It's upsetting to be asked, must be a policy.

Like you, my baby must have just died when I had my scan the day or so before. I really feel for you having to go through this sad

In terms of pain, I had none. I was expecting it to start up after the meds wore off, but I had none. I did go on to get an infection, and that was a pain in the ovary area that throbbed, so do keep an eye out for anything that doesn't seem right (smells, bleeding that doesn't ease up after two weeks, pains etc) Don't hesitate to see your doctor or call the hospital if you are concerned. My doctors were lovely and helpful.

If you find out are struggling emotionally, you can be referred for counselling from your doctors. I was advised by my midwife to consider it. As you have a history of low mood, is suggest you have a friendly face around you for the first two weeks (or as long as you need it). I was so up and down emotionally, and I think the hormonal changes add to that.

A month on and I'm feeling stronger emotionally. I have put a lot of my focus into getting healthy and looking after myself so we can try again.

Thinking of you

jpeg28 Fri 19-Aug-16 18:13:08

monkey I'm so glad it went pretty smoothly. It is such an awful experience and you're right no one talks about it which makes it so much harder. I've had some funny looks when I've been completely open about it, but it's not something I think we should hide.
Get a ton of rest and look after yourself flowers

Purpleprickles Sat 20-Aug-16 00:09:53

Monkey I'm glad to here it all went ok. I received counselling from Cruse after my mmc as the GP felt I was suffering more from grief than depression. They were brilliant and I would recommend getting in touch with your local branch if you feel you need to talk through what has happened.

I do remember being asked about the remains too. I should have remembered to mention when I posted before but I think some bits I'd blanked out. I know what you mean about knowing before hand. I had a feeling of this can't really all go ok before I had my scan and I'd also seen a thread on here about blighted ovums which was what I had. Before this I didn't even know it could happen that way.

I do think tell people what has happened if you want to. I've been very open all the way through as it felt right for me to be honest. I also think the whole unspoken part of mc makes women like us feel we just need to get on with it and doesn't recognise the loss which is wrong.

Be kind to yourself and take one day at a time. Wishing you lots of luck for the future X

Helbelle75 Sat 20-Aug-16 00:24:57

So sorry for your loss. It's utterly devastating.
I had a MMC in May, although so miscarried naturally at home. It was horrendous.
Like purpleprickles I went to cruse and found them so helpful.
I have also told people. I had 4 weeks off work and then struggled to get back (I'm a teacher) and I wanted people to know. Talking to people really helped.
When it first happened, I really couldn't see how I could get through it, but it had become easier. I think of our baby bean all the time, but am able to get in with life fairly well.
I've just found out that I'm pregnant again as well - only 6 weeks so very early days, but we have hope again.
Be kind to yourself, let yourself heal.

MonkeyPoozzled76 Sun 21-Aug-16 12:12:13

Hello all, thank you for your kind replies and congratulations helbelle, lovely news.

I'm not doing very well today, just don't know what to do with myself and am so very sad. Am going to try and see my GP tomorrow.

Helbelle75 Sun 21-Aug-16 14:48:04

Yes, so they'll be able to signpost you to some support. Keep talking on here as well. It was the most awful time and I lost myself completely. It surprised me how many people had been affected by mc and how little it was spoken about.

jpeg28 Sun 21-Aug-16 16:27:16

monkey I'm sorry you're having a bad day. Definitely keep talking on here. I stayed in a watched tv series box sets for a whole week. I think the main thing is to do is look after yourself and talk as much as you feel you can to someone. Or one here. I didn't answer my phone for a week as I didn't want to speak to anyone, but in hindsight I should have.

Purpleprickles Sun 21-Aug-16 20:06:25

Unmumsnetty hugs Monkey it's a shitty time. Agree with the others and see your GP. It is going to take you a while to process what has happened and even though the sadness lessens I still feel sad now some days for my lost one and there isn't a day goes by when it doesn't pop into my mind.

Rallysummery Sat 27-Aug-16 16:29:36

I found out yesterday I have had a MMC. I go in on Tuesday for my D&C and untill I read this discussion I was absolutely petrified. Thank you for your experiences. This is my first pregnancy aswell and I am absolutely devastated that it has ended like this.

MonkeyPoozzled76 Sat 27-Aug-16 18:34:09

Rally so sorry to hear of your loss. It really helped me to be able to read others experiences. This is a really horrible thing to get through but the actual procedure itself is quick and the nurses, doctors and anethatist were all so kind to me. My DH was a huge support too, do you have someone with you?

I'm still finding things tough but I'm having more good hours than bad hours now. Everyone on this board has been a massive support, just knowing I am not alone has helped so much.

Sending you lots of strength for Tuesday, if there is anything else you like to ask go ahead. Xx

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