miscarriage at 6 weeks.

[justanothercloud]

This week has been horrible for me. On saturday I discovered i was pregnant (unplanned but we were very happy about it). 10 hours later i was in a&e with heavy bleeding and passing clots. It's only just set in what's happened. I stayed up last night googling pictures of 6 Week old foetuses. I've been looking up what my baby's development would have been. They would have had a heart beat, tiny fingers and toes. I'm broken. I feel empty and want my baby back. I don't even know if I can face work on Monday, the only saving grace being the baby's father works with me so can look after me to some degree.
Did anyone else beat themselves up like this? I feel so guilty :(

[NeverGoOutOfStyle]

Yes, I completely felt like that. Ours was also unplanned but very much wanted, and we had a few days from finding out to knowing that I'd miscarried. I have this feeling of emptiness, I count how many weeks I should have been, how long its been since I found out, etc.

I also sit and think about all the things I did wrong when I didn't know I was pregnant and for a few weeks, and still occasionally I am 100% convinced that I am the reason we're going through this pain. But, I had a good long chat with my GP and she said that honestly, there's nothing I, nor anyone else could have done to change the outcome of this pregnancy, despite everything our minds tell us, there's nothing that we could have done, or should have done that would change it, and it's an awful fact but just know that it is not your fault it happened, it's no ones fault and its cruel, and unfair.

Take care of yourself, if you don't think you can go to work then see if you can take a few days, give yourself sometime to process and grieve for your loss, try your best to stop beating yourself up, but I know that feels almost impossible, but it isn't your fault.

I'm so sorry for your loss xxx

[justanothercloud]

Sorry for your loss as well ❤ it's comforting to know I'm not alone in feeling so guilty and torturing myself with what could have been. By Monday I will have had a week off so I think it's best I try and go back. Even if it's just for the day.
I just feel like I can't cry. I'm staying with my mum and I don't want the fuss of her trying to make me feel better.
I'm seeing my friends for the first time since it happend today but I'd much rather stay in bed under my covers and hide.

[Lizziedoll]

I had a mc at 6+4 days two weeks ago. It was my first pregnancy and it was truly devastating. I only bled for a week and we have started TTC again. It gets easier I promise. Sending hugs, sorry for your loss