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Am I to blame for my mc?

(11 Posts)
Lizziedoll Sun 24-Jul-16 10:06:44

Hello everyone. I was 6/7 weeks pg with my first child but sadly scans showed him to be too small with a faint heartbeat and I was told I would mc and I did on Friday night (still ongoing). I can't help thinking this could've been prevented and that it is my fault. I am a naturally anxious person and finding out I was pg was a shock to the system even though we were trying and this baby was wanted. My partner and I were over the moon but I was constantly worried about money, work and such and wonder if this caused my mc. I'm on Citalopram 20 for anxiety but the doctors seem to think it is safe and couldn't have caused my mc. I am scared to ever try again as I feel maybe my mental health problems will cause me to miscarry again. Does anyone know if I can blame it on anything that I did or didn't do? Thank you

Leviticus Sun 24-Jul-16 10:17:24

It wasn't your fault darling. Be kind to yourself flowers

ayeokthen Sun 24-Jul-16 10:26:43

Please don't blame yourself, it wasn't your fault. I was on Citalopram 40 after having dd3 and I didn't discover I was pregnant with ds2 until I was 22 weeks. I'm so sorry this happened to you, but please please don't blame yourself. flowers

BipBippadotta Mon 25-Jul-16 16:53:47

I am very sorry for your loss. Please be assured by what your doctors tell you. Stress and worry do not cause miscarriage. The most common cause of early miscarriage is chromosomal abnormality in the embryo, and that's something you can't possibly influence, unfortunately. Take care, and be kind to yourself. flowers

Iggi999 Sun 31-Jul-16 01:04:37

I had four miscarriages, then a final pg which was understandably fraught with stress and anxiety throughout, yet which succeeded. If stress caused my mcs the last one would definitely have failed!
Sorry for your loss. It is not your fault.

AnnieOnnieMouse Sun 31-Jul-16 01:19:23

So sorry for your loss. Your stress couldn't have caused this tragedy, honestly. I had several miscarriages, and, like another poster, the ones that later succeeded were far more stressful than anything preceding.
I know it's human nature for us to look to within ourselves for blame, but really, it's just awful bad luck that this happens to so many pregnancies.
It really was not your fault. flowers

29redshoes Sun 31-Jul-16 03:54:13

I'm so sorry for your loss. There is absolutely no way this is your fault. Please do not think that.

I was very relaxed during my first pregnancy and miscarried. As a result of the miscarriage I was very anxious in my second prepregny, but everything turned out fine.

flowers for you, be kind to yourself.

Rainbowqueeen Sun 31-Jul-16 05:22:02

Absolutely not your fault.

i wouldn't have any children at all if stress meant miscarriage. In reality I have 3!

I'm so sorry for your loss

icklekid Sun 31-Jul-16 05:39:12

No, you did nothing to cause this and could have done nothing to prevent it.

I'm so sorry for your loss flowers

flumpybear Sun 31-Jul-16 05:44:30

I've had a few mc too and felt like you .... But now I'm the other side with two beautiful children and the fog has lifted .... No it's not your fault, it's likely to have been a genetic flaw and they're common. You will get pregnant again and it's highly likely within the next year or two you'll be bouncing a gorgeous baby on your knee. Grieve, but please don't blame yourself X

Lizziedoll Sun 31-Jul-16 10:52:16

Thanks everyone. We just started TTC again. Fingers crossed. And I'm sorry for all your losses flowers

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