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TTC after miscarrying? Anyone else in same boat

(33 Posts)
Sophiehfz2805 Tue 12-Jul-16 22:54:44

Im finally TTC after having a late miscarriage just about 6 weeks ago now. Ive had my first period and also finishes my antibiotics which treated infections. Ive been TTC since i came off period so its been about 4 days now ive been trying. I was wondering if anyone else is ttc and have been sucessful straight afterwards? I feeel down thinking that its going to take forever sad

NeverGoOutOfStyle Wed 13-Jul-16 13:20:36

I do feel really similar to you, the idea that it could be a long time before I'm pregnant again is really getting me down, but I have read a lot of stories of people who have managed really soon after a miscarriage, so there's hope for us!

HighHopes16 Wed 13-Jul-16 15:34:11

Hi ladies, sorry for your losses. I'm just waiting for my first period after my miscarriage (Had an ERPC 10 days ago) and then we will be trying again. I am scared that it will take ages, or that if get a BFP I might miscarry again but if its meant to be, it will happen! Wishing you the best of luck.

littlepooch Wed 13-Jul-16 16:30:36

I fell pregnant with my DD straight after a natural miscarriage. Miscarried and then got my bfp exactly 4 weeks later. We had been ttc for over a year before the MC and just couldn't face ttc again. We were in shock when I realised I was pregnant again. So there is a chance you might not have to ttc for very long. Fingers crossed for you.

I've just had a Mmc so will be ttc again shortly. I am hoping against hope it happens quickly for us but I'm not feeling hopeful right now x

dippypanda Fri 15-Jul-16 23:10:21

Hi, sorry for your losses. I'm in the same boat, going through natural miscarriage at 10w, been two weeks and just waiting for bleeding to stop and AF to come along. Fx'd we can start TTC soon c

Sophiehfz2805 Sat 16-Jul-16 23:55:28

Thank you for your time for replying ladies. I wish yous all the best of luck and each and every one of you's are in my prayers i hope we all do become pregnant soon x

user1468783081 Sun 17-Jul-16 20:34:50

Hi ladies,
First off. I'm so thankful I found this thread. I just received news on Friday that my hCG level decreased and I was having a miscarriage. I'm actually devastated and feel so depressed. I don't know much about having miscarriages so I feel like I'm on my own and this will happen again. Is having a miscarriage really that common? My husband and I have been trying for almost a year now. It has been an emotional two weeks for me because the 3rd day of knowing I was pregnant my hCG level wasn't rising and then 3 days later it tripled in numbers...Then down again. I feel so sad. I just want this to be over so we can try again. Thank you for listening, if you can please send me some hopefulness to make me feel better about this. :-( I feel your pain ladies.

Sophiehfz2805 Sun 17-Jul-16 21:46:54

Hi love, so sorry for your loss.
You have a right to be upset and feel stressed about all sorts because it really is something horrible to go through. You are in my prayers and i will pray that you have a little baby soon. With me i still haven't fully gotten over it and never will but the crying and stress has gone finally. Yes miscarriage is very VERY common. Most women i know each have had 2/3 miscarriages. Its just something what happens, my auntie has had 3 miscarriages all before 3 months i think they're normally due to the babies development like abnormalities. My MC was at 19 weeks+1 day. I think mine was due to infection (bacterial vaginosis) which i did not know i had because i had no symptoms and i think maybe it made my waters break early and cervix was fully dilated too afterwards. But also i found out after giving birth (when i had swabs) that i also had StrepB so thankfully i now know i had that so i can be treated for it in next pregnancies. But never give up on TTC, i've heard of loads of women that go onto have healthy babies after miscarriages. Take care and again im so sorry for your loss. flowerssad

LeannRegs Sun 17-Jul-16 22:17:38

Thank you so much Sophiehfz2805, I don't feel so alone during this time. I really appreciate the kind words. I'm sorry for your loss as well, losing a baby at 19 weeks sounds soooo unfair. You never think in a million years something like this would happen to you. I hope that we are both pregnant in the near future with a healthy pregnancy. <3

Sophiehfz2805 Sun 17-Jul-16 22:54:52

Dont feel alone because its very common, i know what you mean by feeling alone because when it happens you feel like why is this happening to me. Two of my friends are pregnant and its hard for me to watch them as i feel like i would still be now. I would've been 7months right now and thinking about it upsets me. But i guess its happened and only thing is moving forward now. I hope we both do become pregnant soon and go on to have healthy beautiful babies! Never ever feel alone. And never give up trying!! <3

LeannRegs Mon 18-Jul-16 03:48:42

The worst is having friends who are pregnant...I have three very close friends who are either pregnant or just had a baby. I can't help but be jealous. The hardest thing for me right now is that I'm literally going through the miscarriage right now so every time I use the bathroom I see it (sorry tmi, but you understand :-( )...I wan't to move forward but this constant reminder just gets me more down...Thank you for listening. <3

Hazandduck Mon 18-Jul-16 09:20:03

leann I was due early February but have just miscarried. Three of my best friends are also due around this time. I was one of the first to find out. I'm so sorry for your
loss. I came on here to ask the same thing. We are getting married next August (pushed wedding back when we found out I was pregnant) I was about 10/11 weeks and it has been the bloodiest most painful last 24 hours. The hospital care was exemplary they showered me and gave me clothes and lots of hugs and were incredible. I'm not upset I just feel tired. It was so painful last night as they were removing tissue from my womb that I said I don't know if I could go through this again. But I am scared the fear of it happening again will get worse the longer we leave it...I don't know what to do! I will have to wait a month any way (doc said 1 cycle). It happened the day we got our 12 week scan letter through sad My wonderful fiance was so sweet and wants this so much I am more heartbroken for him. Xx

Sophiehfz2805 Mon 18-Jul-16 11:14:19

Yeah i do know where you are coming from because whilst i was going through it, the 5 days i was in hospital felt forever as i was constantly leaking amniotic fluid/and blood sad and it was dragging. Now i've got past it all it has taken A lot of stress off me. Just stay strong and make sure you have someone to speak to when you're down dont keep it in!!

Hazandduck- im sorry for your loss also flowerssad stay strong x

Hazandduck Mon 18-Jul-16 14:13:55

Did any of you feel like a burden lifted once it calmed down? I am home now and have just washed my hair, painted my nails and just feeling kind of human again. I honestly don't know if I could handle another miscarriage or even pregnancy right now! sad Xx

LeannRegs Mon 18-Jul-16 18:07:00

Hi Hazandduck,

Oh I'm so sorry for your loss and it sounded like it was painful :-(... Maybe it's because I was only a little over 5 weeks but I honestly don't feel any pain nor have any heavy bleeding. I just have been spotting brown for the past 6 days. I'm also SO SORRY that you have to see not 1, but 3 friends pregnant and due around the time you would have been. That is just so cruel and another reminder of what you've been through. My doctor said to me that once my hCG level goes to 0 then I have to "wait and see" if I get a period. If I don't I'll start taking Provera to start a period and then can try again. That sounds SO LONG...and I want to start trying now to get this past me. I hate the "wait and see" with all of this. My period has been irregular for years, some months I don't even get a I'm pretty sure I'll be waiting another month and more :-(...

I do want to say that you can't give up. As hard as this is, we have a high chance of getting pregnant again and having a healthy baby. In my mind I had this whole baby thing planned out. We would ttc, I would get pregnant instantly, and it would be a piece of cake....WRONG. I also wanted to have a baby before I turned 30. I turn 30 in March. That won't happen. :-( My goal now is to try to be pregnant again before March.

We can't let one, two, or even three miscarriages stop us from our dreams to be moms. It will happen. <3

Hazandduck Tue 19-Jul-16 10:06:01

I totally understand the wanting to try again. It is just fear holding me back. But that will get worse with time. Why does is happen so effortlessly for some people? I really don't want to be one of those bitter people but it is so hard not to be jealous or resentful of people who don't give a toss about their children who manage to conceive without even thinking about it or the consequences...whereas people who are ready and desperate to look after a child experience difficulty...feeling pretty crap today about it all X

LeannRegs Tue 19-Jul-16 19:29:48

I feel you girl! I have problems even getting a period, it's really now I have to wait for god knows how long to get one, then I'm starting clomid. Clomid helps you ovulate if you never heard of it. I started it the first time last month and did get pregnant from it but we know what happened... :-( So I totally understand feeling resentful of people who have such an easy time getting pregnant...and I think it's okay for us to feel that way right now. What happened to us is devastating. We will never forget it. and it's also okay to have crappy days, this just happened to us...but you know what gets me down? I have really negative thinking sometimes...I think "omg what if I've had a miscarriage before and just thought it was a period and theres something really wrong with me"...or "this is going to take even longer now to get pregnant again"...My mind is okay one minute then wanders to negativity. Also, are you having trouble sleeping? I've only been able to sleep for a few hours each night because I just keep thinking about it... :-(

Sophiehfz2805 Tue 19-Jul-16 21:03:29

Yeh thats the actual same with me, i always have this feeling 'its never gunna happen again or its gunna take ages' sad hate it. Im actively ttc now so hopefully it will happen this month but who knows!! Goodluck to yous all though i hope yous do become pregnant soon and me also smile just feeling so down. See so many mums about with newborn babies especially at shopping centres and keep thinking i want that to be me sad x

OfficiallyUnofficial Tue 19-Jul-16 21:07:56

I had a missed MC at 12 week scan, closer to 14 to actually MC as I waited until it happened naturally (didn't really believe it I think).

Anyway conceived after three months, but had deliberately waited 2 periods to make sure all was back to normal.

Now the proud mother of three beautiful DC.

Had some bleeding with DC1, cue mass panic I'd MC again but she's 6 and refusing to go to bed now hmm smile

Good luck OP and give yourself time to grieve it is so sad x

Hazandduck Wed 20-Jul-16 16:45:43

Yes totally had trouble sleeping!! Felt really sick last night. I went to the doctors today just to see if they could give me more answers...walked in and burst in to tears as the GP had a massive baby bump, she was actually lovely though and told me not to give up as she miscarried too and I felt almost like seeing her was meant to be as stupid as that may sound. What are the chances though? She also suggested that my early internal private scan probably did not help and was really encouraging, when i said should we wait a while because of getting married etc she said no way get on with it and try, just do it, forget about everything else, relax and enjoy it and deal with it when it happens. She also said next time if I do have signs of miscarrying again because I know what's coming I can be better looked after and have anaesthetic, she said my miscarriage was the hardest way to do it (emergency D and C no pain relief) and now we can be better prepared which makes me less scared of going through it again as awful as it was. It was the pain and horrific blood that scared me. Feeling more positive now.

Totally agree sophie the cycles of futile worry in your brain! But I guess you just have to keep on trudging on and keep trying until, like officially we get our happy endings.

leann I have never heard of clomid before. I have been on Cerazette for 9 years or so and got pregnant before I'd got back in to proper cycles, and then miscarried at 10 weeks. So I am wondering if I need to let myself get back in to period cycles or like the doctor said just get trying straight away. She told me not to wait 6 months or anything! I guess she is talking from personal experience?

LeannRegs Wed 20-Jul-16 19:44:34

Hazandduck I'm glad you went to the doctors today. It feels so good to talk to someone face to face who has been in your same situation. I think seeing the GP was meant to be too. She is proof that yes you can get pregnant and have a successful pregnancy after a miscarriage. I hate that freaking word "miscarriage". It sounds like us women are the ones to blame. Not a kind word at all. Anyways, the GP is right I feel like you should just start trying right away. That's what me and DH are doing. I feel ttc again is the only way to get past this. I hate that we have to wait to ovulate. I wish we could just start now! Time is not our friend right now lol. I also can't imagine the pain you went through. I honestly didn't feel any pain or did I bleed a lot. I'm still bleeding but just like a normal period. I was told I miscarried on Friday so hopefully in a few days it will stop...I'm glad to hear you also had trouble sleeping as I'm still up most of the night letting myself think negatively. I'm a teacher and have the summer off so I have a lot of free time right now and this has been consuming my summer. I hate it. :-(
Thank you for letting me vent as right now I'm feeling sad. This morning I was doing great, I went for a 45 minute run (I'm an avid runner) and even washed my hair today lol...But now I feel sad. I'm really thankful I can let it all out here. <3

sophie Have you been using ovulation prediction test strips? I hope this is your month and you get a BFP very soon. You must keep us updated! <3

Sophiehfz2805 Wed 20-Jul-16 20:12:34

Has it just recently happened? So sorry to hear about it sadflowers its heartbreaking news. The worst part is going through them few weeks feeling anger and that question 'why me' bcos you feel so alone in that time because you're going through it all. I hope we do all have healthy babies soon!! I keep praying for all of us. Are you on your period right now? Im just so confused because i cant really rely on ovulating apps or whatever because i've only had one period since its happened and its confusing, but i think it may have been 15th so me and DH have been trying but lets see what happens by the end of the month. We were trying since i came off my period which was 7th july and i've been having weird twinge stomach pains and aches which i never normally had but i had last time before i found out i was pregnant. Dont know what it can be but its impossible to be preg symptoms so early right? But could it be implantation symptoms as i had the same last time? Confused sad and nope i haven't used the ovulation predictor strips. I actually saw them in shop and was going to buy some but no point using them now il use them next month if im not preg. I shall keep you's updated !! <3

melsw Sun 24-Jul-16 11:23:38

Hi ladies, hope you don't mind me joining. We're also TTC after mmc found at the 12 week scan a month ago. I'm scared and excited in equal measures I think. I had the surgical procedure nearly 3 weeks ago after my body didn't seem to miscarrying naturally anytime soon. The bleeding stopped a few days ago so I'm tracking ovulation with some Boots test strips as no idea when this will happen really - the surgeon said 2 weeks after the op but no positive OPK yet although getting the EWCM now - sorry TMI! Do you think this is a sign I am ovulating or is my body still getting back to normal and this could be a false indicator?

LeannRegs Sun 24-Jul-16 20:17:16

Hi melsw I'm sorry for your loss... :-( I was only 5 weeks and it was very painless with little bleeding, so I consider myself lucky...You're a very strong woman and I'm happy you're back at it ttc...Because honestly I think it's the only way we can get over the loss. I'm not the best at judging CM, I really rely on the OPKs. I'm going to get the clear blue OPKs where it's digital and gives you a smiley face if you're ovulating. They can be expensive though. But honestly if it looks like EWCM then yes just go for it girl! This might be TMI, but do you guys do the deed every day or every other day during your fertile window?

Question for you...Today I starting thinking too much and let my mind get the best of me. Have you had thoughts of when you start trying it may take forever to get pregnant again? I'm getting all sad today because even though were ttc right away I just don't want to be disappointed each month and have to wait. Ugh, it's the worst. What really hurts is today I went on facebook and saw 2 friends announcing they were pregnant. And one of my friends just had a baby yesterday and posted pictures. Totally depressing. My DH says stop looking on facebook lol.

melsw Sun 24-Jul-16 22:14:55

It's still hard no matter how many weeks you were my love.
We're not actively trying this month but I want to know if/when I do ovulate so I can understand if my body is getting back to normal and if we were lucky enough to catch so soon then I'd have a better idea of my dates.
Not TMI at all but we tend to do every other day - don't want to wear our the hubby! Every day can feel a bit too pressured I think.
I know exactly what you mean about worrying about everything. It didn't take too long to conceive the first time but I'm worried this could take longer if my body doesn't get into a regular cycle quickly. I really want to be well into a new pregnancy by our original due date in January.
It's so hard isn't it, I thought that conceiving was the hard part, even though it only took 4 cycles I was upset each month AF came. But in hindsight that was the easy part so I'm determined to chill out and enjoy it second time around! Xx

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