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Trying again

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Chocalattes Fri 08-Jul-16 07:30:57

I was 10 weeks pregnant when I started to have a brown discharge. I went straight to EPU who scanned me and gave me the heartbreaking news that I had had a missed miscarriage (baby died at 6 weeks). Exactly the same happened to me five years ago, just before I had my little boy. Heartbroken and angry and lots of pain and mixed emotions, I was signed off from work for two weeks and we went on a nice family holiday to Spain which was exactly what the doctor ordered. We are now back and I am now back at work and back in the swing of things but almost five weeks later I am still bleeding (although this has slowed down bye still there) - I am now sick of this daily reminder of the baby that I nurtured for ten weeks and made plans for that is now no longer there. I just want my body to return to normal so that we can try again. I initially said I never wanted to go through this ever again as two miscarriages have broken me but I do not want to give up any hope of having another little one so feel we need to take this chance one last time. I am 39 so time is also not on our side. I don't even know really why I am writing this post I just need to hear positive stories that things could possibly work out and I will go on to have a healthy baby, even though I am 39. The doctor said I am fit and healthy and there's no reason why it shouldn't happen but I suppose I also just want to have a chat as feel so low and empty too - doctor referred me for some counselling which I am going to do but just feel I am putting on a brave face to all my family who are wanting me to be all back to normal and my bubbly self again but I just feel so so low and so empty with no enthusiasm for anything - is this normal? How long also should I wait before trying again? Doctor said I could start straightaway but again, I'm still bleeding and also got to wait for my first period.
I fell pregnant within six weeks after my first miscarriage but I was five years younger and just feel so nervous this time because of the emotional roller coaster of this happening again. I'm sorry to ramble and thanks in advance for any advice flowers

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