lost my baby monday night at 10w1 day
feeling completely at a loss , partner blames me, no one around me seems to understand, im bombarded with comments such as at least it was early or you can always try again, this just makes it worse and i feel as though my grief isnt understood,
The doctor signed me off work for one week, she said i should feel better after a week but as each day goes by i feel worse, i can barely manage to get out of bed and im lucky if i get one hours sleep. I am due back to work on tuesday, emotionally i dont think i am ready at all, i work in a health centre, on front of house, so all day im surrounded by families, or angry patients etc.
how do i face going back to work and keeping myself from falling apart? i just wanna shut the world out
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
feeling lost and alone - how to return to normal?
Nugget2016 · 23/04/2016 10:38
Am very sorry.
First, if you need more time off for mental health reasons go back to your GP and see what they say.
People say all kinds of crap! Not nice to deal with.
The miscarriage association has good info. Boards on here and baby sites can be a good source of support.
Whatever his emotions about what's happened your partner's response is terrible. He needs to change it sharpish and educate himself about the causes of pregnancy loss. Of course it's not your fault! 
Behaviour like that could be a deal-breaker in a relationship IMO, especially if he's done other things to hurt you.
It's hard, to have all that to deal with at once. Eventually you'll be much, much happier off without this awful man. Sounds like even before the pregnancy he treated you very badly.
Suggest making a clean break with absolutely no contact with him, if you can.
Are there any kind friends or family to spend time with right now? Nice things you might do for yourself? Hope so.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is so not your fault.
It can be such a lonely time even when you have a supportive partner. I am sorry that your partner has not been there for you.
I think some more time off is needed. I work in the back office so don't have to talk to people. But I don't think I could have talked to anyone in the front office without crying. Is there someone in work you can talk to so they could maybe support you when you do go back. I found my boss to be supportive and she helped to make sure I wasn't doing anything that was stressful.
I think counselling will help too, just someone to talk to. Generally society does not know how to react to misccariages and I have found it really hard. I have tried to accept it but it still hard when people are insensitive with their comments or lack of support.
It does take time, for the first few weeks I was all over the place. But day by day and week by week it changes. You never forget but you generally do start to function again, although your heart will always be different.
Take care and be gentle on yourself you are going through a lot. I hope that you have a good friend to talk to as that always helps.
I am really sorry this has happened to you. I found out at 10w1d that my baby's heart had stopped 2 weeks before, probably a day or two after my last scan. It took another week and a bit before I miscarried and it was absolute hell. Please don't blame yourself for it, we never found out the cause of mine but in most cases miscarriages at the stage we were at are because our babies weren't quite right genetically. Which is very common. Nothing we can do about that, except love and remember them.
One of my friends said when it happened to her she decided her baby wasn't ready to be born yet and had gone back to the waiting room until the time was right. Which I quite like as an idea. It sounds like your ex is a total Arse and you are well off without him. Your baby clearly has other ideas of who they want for a father and is waiting for that man to turn up. Grieve them, give them a name if that helps - mine is called Rowan and his or her due date would have been in 2 weeks. Try and find someone in real life to talk to who will listen and not judge. My friends were a godsend to me. Then cut the Arse out of your life and get your revenge on him by going on to have the best life ever. But before you get to that stage, give yourself permission to grieve. You have lost not only your baby but your relationship as well and the family you thought you were going to have. That is a lot to lose in 1 go and all of them things that on their own you would grieve, so it is ok to be hurting and upset now.
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