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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Still birth- maternity leave?

30 replies

Sammythemummy · 18/04/2016 07:27

I had a still birth at 30 weeks last week

My manager has called me and given me supported and has told me that I can take a month off with a doctors note. But following advice online from SANDS I am entitled to my maternity leave and pay, I had asked for my leave to start May the 1st and was going to get the MatB1 form the day they told me there was no heart beat.

I'm about to inform my manager that that's the advice I was given but wanted to see if anyone had been refused (so I am prepared).

OP posts:

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pocketsized · 18/04/2016 07:34

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I have no personal experience, but I found this guidance from hmrc that might help reassure you, and could be useful for your employer.

www.hmrc.gov.uk/MANUALS/spmmanual/spm20745.htm

Icecappedpinetrees · 18/04/2016 07:34

No advice just to help bump your post. I'm so sorry for your loss.

lateforeverything · 18/04/2016 07:35

I don't know but wanted to send

PotteringAlong · 18/04/2016 07:37

Not me, but a colleague took her full maternity leave entitlement after a still birth. so so sorry.

Bombaybunty · 18/04/2016 07:38

I think you are entitled to your full maternity leave as you were past 24 weeks. Your leave should start immediately. info here

So sorry for your loss, take time to look after yourself xx

intravenouscoffee · 18/04/2016 07:38

So sorry No personal experience but didn't want to read and run.

I work with someone who lost her baby at 31 weeks and she took her maternity leave in full. She needed that time to heal both physically and emotionally.

If you are entitled to it then I don't see how your manager could refuse and I would direct them to the SANDS info if they are confused.

crayfish · 18/04/2016 07:46

I'm so sorry for your loss, how heartbreaking. And to be worrying about leave just now seems very unfair.

A colleague of mine had a still birth a while ago and was entitled to all her maternity leave (quite rightly). It's also clearly written in our maternity and adoption policy at work - do you have one of those? If so, try and get a copy. I work in the public sector so they tend to be 'good' about this kind of thing, but I think it's standard to be entitled to your leave,

BelleEtoile · 18/04/2016 08:40

Hi Sammy! I'm so sorry for your loss. As previous posters suggested direct your employer to the the link in pocket size's post or to SANDS. Take all the time you need.

Alot of family, friends and even medical professionals recommended to go back to work as soon as physically possible after my daughter died before Christmas. I stupidly did - it wasn't a good idea so I am planning on taking leave for a few months shortly.

Listen to your own instincts, do what you want and take time to rest and look after yourself. Take care xxx

Marmiteontoast76 · 18/04/2016 09:13

So sorry for your loss, completely heartbreaking. Yes I think you are entitled to maternity leave if loss was after 24 weeks.

I've had a two 20 week losses in the past years so missed out on the maternity leave by 4 weeks. After the first loss I went back to work after 3 weeks, but after this loss I've taken 10 weeks off to fully recover from the impact of both. Not relevant to your case, but a month is certainly not enough for you and you need that maternity leave for the recovery process.

Big hugs to you. X

Sammythemummy · 18/04/2016 09:44

Thank you all.

I'm going to call my manager later on in the morning but I think I'll have a breakdown if they tell me I can't have it. I do not want to go back at all, the mere thought makes me nauseous.

I'm also clearly not up to being outside yet as I've cried at the tills in my local Tesco! The poor worker (who I usually have polite chats with) asked me why I was so tired and if anything was wrong, cue tears and flapping of hands from me. He handled it really well bless him

I miss my bump

OP posts:

BelleEtoile · 18/04/2016 09:48

Oh Sammy - Big Huge Hug!

Eminado · 18/04/2016 09:57

I am so very very sorry for your loss

Sending you the biggest hug possible.

fairgroundsnack · 18/04/2016 09:57

I'm so sorry Sammy.

You are absolutely entitled to your maternity leave and pay. The same thing sadly happened to my friend when her daughter was stillborn at 30 weeks. She took a full year off with maternity pay.

The fact that you don't have a MATB1 form is difficult. However, your certificate of stillbirth should be a sufficient alternative. I know that there are circumstances where maternity pay is paid where there is no MATB1 (including where people give birth without realising they are pregnant) so your employer shouldn't use this as an excuse.

AugustRose · 18/04/2016 10:04

Oh Sammy I am so sorry for your loss, it is truly heartbreaking to experience the death of a baby

As others have said, yes you are entitled to your full maternity leave if your baby dies after 24 weeks. Could you e-mail your manager instead?

Copy the HMRC link and Sands information and tell them that you are not able to speak with them today, but that you intend to take your full maternity leave/pay and will provide them with the relevant documentation when you have it. You can always change your mind later if you wish.

They can't not refuse, however sadly some will try, if they do that you could call the Sands helpline and they could hopefully send supporting information to your employer.

KittyandTeal · 18/04/2016 14:16

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I would email your boss a link to the sands pdf before your conversation. Take your full entitlement. They cannot refuse, in the Sam way they couldn't refuse it if you baby had been born living.

You can also get an extended sick leave note from your doctor. A month is unlikely to be long enough.

As an example I had a tfmr at 22 weeks last January, took 6 full weeks off then did a phased return. I am currently off again after iud of ds at 14 weeks. I've had 5 weeks so far and will be going back for 1 morning this week (but only after a diagnosis of ptsd so I know things won't get better than this for a long time now)

Pinkheart5915 · 18/04/2016 14:24

I wanted to send you I had a still birth a few years ago so I know how much it hurts.

maternity leave you should be able to take full leave as its after 24 weeks.

I would email your boss then you can get it all written out and double check etc a phone call might be difficult If you get upset with it being so raw.

Sammythemummy · 18/04/2016 18:19

Thank you all

My manager got back to me and informed me that I'm entitled to my whole maternity leave so that's a huge relief!

I'm so sorry for all the losses on here and I've especially followed your journey over the weekend (I've given birth on Friday) Kitty. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with PTSD :( I wish you the best outcome

OP posts:

PotteringAlong · 18/04/2016 18:20

I'm so glad it's sorted. Take time and be kind to yourself

Jubaloo442 · 18/04/2016 18:22

Glad it's sorted for you. It's the last thing you should be worrying about at such a heartbreaking time. Take care.

Pinkheart5915 · 18/04/2016 18:25

At least the maternity leave is something off your mind.

Take all the time you need to be ok, it is a big thing to deal with.

More

KittyandTeal · 18/04/2016 18:27

That is really good news (I guess it's all relative!) Take all the time you need and do what you can to get through. I suppose lots of managers wouldn't automatically know what you are entitled to after still birth.

I'm guessing you have had some support from sands already. It's very early days but I would suggest counselling if you think it's your kind of thing. Baby loss is such a unique kind of loss.

Have you named your baby? Are you having a funeral/service for him/her?

Thank you for your kind wishes. It's been quite a journey over the past 14 months it's sometimes difficult to believe it's all real and it's happened to me. One day at a time is a great motto to live life by at these times I find.

gingerbreadmanm · 18/04/2016 18:33

sammy im so very sorry for your loss and what you have been through. I had a stillbirth last year at 27 weeks and was entitled to full maternity leave. I think it goes without saying if you have to register the birth and death of your child you should be entitled to full maternity leave the same as any other mother.

I must add though that at my work it would have been financially better for me to take it as sick leave. I returned to work after four months mainly for financial reasons of i had been on sick pay if have had full pay for six months and a phased return which i had to go through occupational health for as it was considered maternity leave.

If you want any support at all or just to talk to someone who has been there feel free to pm me. I often had days where i couldnt walk around a shop without breaking into tears. It does get better but it takes time.

I still cry on the way home from work almost every night 9 months on from it all.

Sending you lots of love

Newstart123 · 18/04/2016 21:08

Sorry for your loss. Know how broken-hearted you must feel. My baby Sam was stillborn at 39 weeks last year. I took 3 months of my mat leave entitlement. Work were great. Have recently took a further 2 weeks off as we had to Tfmr at 12 weeks. Everybody has been incredibly nice. Be good to yourself - everybody has their own issues and shouldn't care if you've been off. Take as much time as you need to grieve. It is hard and time won't heal but you will cope as you get used to the new normal x

JCleRoux · 18/04/2016 21:11

I am so sorry for your loss Sammy .

Msrichardofyork · 21/04/2016 20:55

I'm so sorry to hear yet another person on here going through this. Stillbirth is more common than we realise, but one of the most painful things a woman can go through. I lost my baby in the third trimester a couple of years ago and took full leave. I think I needed it more than when I had my living child. Take the time you need to do whatever it takes to heal.

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