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Lost everything

(4 Posts)
Love2014 Sat 12-Mar-16 09:12:50


I had my second miscarriage at Christmas and it was quite traumatic for me. We found out at our first scan the baby had stopped growing. it was around the second anniversary of my dads death also. I have struggled to cope with the pressures of work since it happened and felt really down. I haven't had much luck really. I had quite a high pressure job in a key role in the company so had very little time off, although I told work what happened I didn't really feel much support from the directors who I reported into so I was very much left to deal with it along with the workload. I had just started at the company a few months before and didn't get the feeling it would be looked at too favourably if I took a lot of time off. I have really struggled. They offered me an opportunity shortly after to send me too New York with work, for a month which I was excited about. But it never happened due to work loads heavily increasing and them saying they needed me in the office . I got quite down and resentful after telling all my family I was going it was crap to tell them I wasn't now. The work continued to pile in and the way they spoke to me got more and more heated. They gave the opportunity to go to NYC to someone else who is actually a friend of mine. That makes it fairly awkward as well. I have decided to leave the company and handed in my notice last week, I feel crap though that I think I have failed at everything it's a job I worked hard to get and I'm really struggling with everything that's happened. Feel like such a loser that I've lost everything including the baby that was very much longed for.

mellowyellow1 Sat 12-Mar-16 12:04:48

Sorry that you're having such a hard time of it, it always feels like everything gets thrown at you at once. Don't feel like a failure at all, ever, all of these things are beyond your control. And don't worry about what your family think about the job offer, it has nothing to do with them really.

Are you looking for a new role? It may help you to have a new job to focus on, new start and all that. Sorry not much help but thinking of you flowers

swancourt Tue 15-Mar-16 20:44:17

I am so so sorry to hear about your loss. And I am so sorry to hear that your work were so stupid about it and didn't give you the support you needed. There is still so little understanding of these things in the workplace. It's crazy.

You haven't failed at anything AT ALL. You certainly didn't 'lose' your baby, and I wish you the best of luck in conceiving again whenever you are ready to try. All the skills you had that got you that job, all the work you put in to get it - none of that has gone away. You are still the person - better than the person - who got that great job. Maybe it was time for a change? It sounds like they didn't support you well, and may not have supported you well if you had wanted to return to work after having children. This could be the start of newer, better things.

I hope you can take some time to take care of yourself xxx

Love2014 Tue 15-Mar-16 21:19:10

Thanks so much swancourt, thats really given me a much needed boost.

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