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3 misvarriages + 2 ectopics + multiple failed fertility trearment, but we still made it! My story of happiness x

(11 Posts)
missmachete Fri 26-Feb-16 08:44:05

I've been reading mumsnet since forever but were too lazy to sign up myself. Now I am here because I believe I have to share.

It is a long story, but all I want to tell you is : don't give up!

My story began with a marriage to my sweetheart in 2007, following ectopic pregnancy, one more ectopic and fertility treatments ( stimulation) and a miscarriage and then my husband and me just could not anymore and we split up. They say that sometimes misery can make you become even closer but sometimes it makes you split up...

Long story short ( I honestly could write a poem about my life)... I lost everything that year (2011).... And I moved to a different country (UK) and started my life from the beginning ( quite hard when you are not a teenager anymore), I've met my partner, who is my best friend, my support and my life now and I made him understand straight away that I might not be able to have children, he was fine with it, but he was ready to try.... Again, two miscarriages in a year.

Tbh I did not even have tears to shed the last time, it was just anger all inside me, why me? Why so many times? Why there is so many 17 years old alcoholic mums with 2 kids and pregnant belly in my area standing and smoking next to asda ( sorry, bit emotional here)?

I was reffered to a miscarriage clinic and after a long treatment - we did it!!!! I had a horrible high risk pregnancy with more than 20 scans and spending more time in the hospital than at home, I had a horrible labour with emergency cs, I almost lost my womb and am still recovering from the blood loss and complications, but WHO CARES!!!!!????

We have our miracle baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so so so happy!

My journey took me all in all around 7 years.... And it was probably my destiny to go through that road ( bit too much, hah), but I am finally here, I am a mother and the Thank you goes to my wonderful bf (husband soon) who did not give up on me and he was happy to be with me no matter what.

Please, ladies, don't give up- as long as you have one ovary left and as long as you can rely on IVF or any other treatment- don't give up!!!!!
I wish you all love and happiness <3

Peace smile?

SamMac2016 Fri 26-Feb-16 10:40:19

Thank you for sharing your story.

Really good to read that there is still hope and not to give up.

Sorry to read about your break ups and miscarriages and heartache but wow what a happy ending. I hope you have a lovely wedding and celebrate the joy and love you now have in your love. 😀

missmachete Fri 26-Feb-16 11:46:23

Thank you,
I do not know your story (if you have one) but I send you all the strenght and love in the world not to give up.

Everything what happened to me made me stronger in some way but really weak in a different way, I am very stressed and worried now all the time about my and my child's health, so many bad things happened to me that I just cannot relax and enjoy my life as I am afraid something bad will happen. But it will pass, as long as everyone is happy and healthy xxx

annaif Tue 01-Mar-16 14:24:02

wow, what a story indeed. Congratulations on finally getting the baby you've been dreaming for, for so long too.
It's indeed an inspiration, don't know if I have the same resilience or patience as you, it is all worth it in the end though ;)
x

marmiteontoast76 Tue 01-Mar-16 14:47:32

Congratulations, you sound so happy and what a journey. X

SamMac2016 Tue 01-Mar-16 14:51:50

Hi MissMachete

My story is kind of similar to yours and you may be able to advise on further testing.

I had an ectopic pregnancy 5 years ago and had the tube removed, this was with a previous partner. Then met my husband and we decided to start trying in 2013, had my first miscarriage at 8 weeks in May 2014, chemical pregnancy in Jan 2015, second miscarriage at 8 weeks in July 2015, third chemical miscarriage in September 2015. Being impatient we then decided to try IVF, we had two embryos put back and had a positive test in December. We were very excited and at 7 weeks saw the heartbeat of one of the embryos, no sign of the other, however the Midwife assured us that sometimes they get absorbed or are hidden behind the other one. When we went for our routine scan at 8.5 weeks, we could tell by the Midwife's frantic searching that there was no heartbeat and then she went on to tell us that the second embryo was in my right tube! So two failed pregnancies.
We were completely shocked and numb, I felt like giving up because I didn't think how much more my body could go through. Luckily I took methotrexate for the ectopic this time and didn't have to go through surgery. The pregnancy in my uterus came away naturally.
Now two months down the line, I have booked to go and see Dr Shehata at the Recurrent miscarriage clinic in London to find out about NK cells and whether my autoimmune system is attacking the fetus at 8 week mark. I am not sure yet if the remaining right tube is blocked or has fluid in it, which could be detrimental to another pregnancy. I have to get the fertility doctor at the hospital to book me in for a dye test or laproscopy to check the tube. Did you have to do this?

What kind of tests did you have done at the miscarriage clinic?

Thank you again for sharing your story and being an inspiration, it's stories like this that help build what little hope I have left. I can totally appreciate how the anxiety of finally getting pregnant and having the baby has now crept into motherhood and raising your child. Going through so many miscarriages certainly takes the joy out of pregnancy and motherhood. I am sure you are a brilliant Mum who deserves every second of it. Easier said than done but try to find things that help you relax as a person like yoga or Pilates, something that you have to focus on at the time and switch off from everything else, which will then help you to relax more about your child's health.
x

jimijack Tue 01-Mar-16 14:57:56

I agree miss, similar story here.
8 years and 7 miscarriages.
Long periods of infertility (2-3 years of actively trying with nothing, then miscarriage after miscarriage)
're occurring miscarriage clinics, blood tests galore,

We gave up. I Was 42. Thisxwasxafter a particularly bad miscarriage. (In hospital on gas and air and morphine)
Got the pill from my gp.
Waited patiently for my period after stopping bleeding with the miscarriage.
It didn't come, I felt more and more unwell.

Decided I must have retained products so had a scan to check womb.

There he was, 7 weeks gone, healthy little chap.

He is 3 now and just had a shit on my brand new bedroom carpet.....potty training.......

ADORE the bones of him, can't believe he is here and that I got to keep him......
Never give up smile

jimijack Tue 01-Mar-16 15:05:15

Sam, I never ever thought of myself as pregnant, just continuously miscarying.
Because I was.

I never Was thrilled at a positive pregnancy test, just though to myself "here we go again".
I Was perpetually jealous of people announcing their pregnancies at 5/6/7 weeks, I felt that they were arrogant and assumed too much, felt even worse when they went onto have healthy pregnancies without even a whisper of anything going wrong.

All gone and done now.

SamMac2016 Tue 01-Mar-16 15:25:06

Thanks for sharing! Great story, that's amazing. It does happen when you least expect it hey!

How funny that he just took a shit on your brand new bedroom carpet. Made me smile and has added another of layer of hope back.

x

missmachete Tue 01-Mar-16 20:41:43

Hi girls,
Thanks for reading and sharing, I appreciate your time. I don't really know how exactly this site works yet, so I hope my answers won't be a mess, I am also saying sorry in advance for my English as it is far from fluent yet.
Firstly, thank you ALL for your words, I remember myself few years ago reading stories like that and crying my eyes out as I did not even had a hope anymore.
I wish you ALL will share a story like that one day, and believe me, now when people ask me how did I manage to keep on trying- I honestly don't know, now it all looks like it was not me.
The only advice- please do believe in your body and do not let your mind and brain take over. After everything I've been through I became too stressed and too worried and too anxious and now I just sometimes forget to enjoy life and all I do is worry.

I am not sure yet how to kind of take a name and make it bold so people would know whom I am taking on here, but anyway..

SamMack, and other girls- If I can help somehow with an advice- pls let me know.
In my case it was a long protocol,with both of my ectopics I had to have a laporoscopy ( so yes, I had it twice, Sam). Because in my country they did not have methretoxate, well, they do, but they do not use it for ectopics. So I had to have two operations for that, but both of the times they did not remove the tube but managed to save it, which lately I realised was not a great thing to do (according to dr shehata) as the tube was damaged and it could be leading to more ectopics and miscarriages.
Mind you, laporoscopy revieled that both of my tubes not blocked but quite long (?). Back at that time I had IUI (insemination) and few stimulations which did not work, now I know why, because I had NK cells, but only dr shehata was the one who found it.
Sam, If you could choose, I would suggest laporoscopy to dye test, because with laporoscopy they can check everything and to remove it if needed (for example cysts and endometriosis).
And in miscarriage clinic I had blood tests, I guess it is what they do for everyone as a first step to check for Nk, phospholipidic syndrome ( have no idea how to spell), rhesus minus, blood clotting, etc...later would be scans and treatment plan, I guess.
Sam, if you have strenght left and courage and if they will reveal that your tube is still ok- try to conceive without IVF and leave IVF as your last option, meanwhile your body will get it's strenght from the last IVf and ectopic. Anyway, I trust Shehata and his team, and I am sure they will find the best solution for you and you will be very happy soon x

Jimijack, congratulations xxx

Also, I understand the feeling when somebody announces the pregnancy at 5 weeks, I told my parents when I was 22 weeks and guess when everybody else knew? (Except my two best friends and my partner)- only when the litttle one was born!!! And not even on the same day, but after few weeks smile

I hope I answered to everything I supposed to.

And yeah, I need to relax and maybe try yoga or something, because I also developed hypochondria and I have that horrible fear of getting a cancer and dying now... Funny, I was never afraid to die, but only now when I have someone who needs me (need as physical and emotional need) I am so much afraid to die.

Love and peace x

missmachete Tue 01-Mar-16 21:02:09

I also wanted to advice: do not rush, I know that feeling of being inpatient, but sometimes you better wait and go through all the tests and dr support rather then rushing.
One of my friend was already reffered to see a specialist, but she was still trying and trying for a baby and while waiting to be seen she miscarried ( early misc) twice and when dr seen her - he said that her lining of the womb was not ready to a pregnancy and any fertility treatment yet because she had miscarriages recently. You always have to give your body time to recover, anyway, he needed to put her on a pill for 6 months before starting a treatment just for her body to relax.
Also, don't forget to love your partners ( I mean it), they also go through that misery and the most important is to stay together!

You will definitely have your dream baby, and he or she will grow up and create his own family and leave your home one day... And you and your husband will be still there together... Does it make any sense? Sorry, not very good in explaining, I guess xxx

Also, going through IVF if privately, don't forget about egg sharring option which could make someone happy too and reduce your cost for ivf.

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