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My miscarriage ......the physical and mental after effects

(7 Posts)
beanmckean Fri 05-Feb-16 12:28:23

Hello everyone - I joined mumsnet when I found out I was pregnant with my first child in October 15. Reading all of the stories made me super excited! What an excellent platform for mums to express themselves on smile

The sad news came at our 1st scan on 04.12.15, where I would have been 12+4. Our little bean had stopped growing at 8+6 and no heartbeat detected. The only way I could describe it all was quite literally the purest form of sadness I have ever felt. I have lost very close people to me along the way, but this feeling was like nothing I had ever felt before sad.

So.... I had the D&C 07.12.15. All went as well as it could have gone given the circumstances. TMI: I had quite a bit of bleeding an hour or so afterwards but could go to the loo fine, so was allowed home.
I had quite bad stomach cramps for the next 3 days with spotting but seemed to be on the mend physically. I did have quite bad backache immediately after the op but put it down to the stress of it all.
This back pain has continued to this day??

In January I had a very light 3 day cycle - 07 to 09.01.16. The week after I had quote a strange gloop of beige/brown lumpy thing along with stretchy/egg white d/c. Looked it up and it seems to be the lining of my cervix that hadn't broken down properly during a normal cycle. Never had this before but seemed 'normal' after such a trauma.
During the month of January - every 3 or so days, I would get this really sharp pain in my right side. I do feel when ovulating but it seemed sharper than usual. And also, because it was happening so often I was concerned - as you only ovulate once a month!
Went to my GP who had a feel around and said that all seemed ok and my body was still healing.

We are now on 05.02.16 (day 30 of cycle) and I am usually every 27days. I have no signs of my period starting and had another, much smaller little beige/brown gloopy thing today.

Did anyone else have a longer waiting time from 1st to 2nd cycle after miscarriage?

My heart is still struggling with this loss and I find myself feeling on the edge and having little breakdowns each week. Feeling completely overwhelmed with life in general. This is extremely out of character for me as I love to laugh and feel happy. I've had a lot happen over the last 5yrs and managed just fine. The odd cry here and there but generally just got on with things.
I went back to work the week after the miscarriage as I wanted to try and get back to 'normal'. It did help and work were very understanding, but I do think I put myself under too much pressure to get back to the way things were before the pregnancy. So hard to have planned your life around this new little amazing thing then in the space of a 15minute scan, everything is different again... in the most devastating way. Not sure when this sadness will get easier, but I am now doing things in my own time. I would advise anyone going through the same to just take things easy and don't try to live how others expect you to.

Sorry for the long winded story! But maybe this will help someone in the same position as me so you don't feel alone in any way.

Quoteunquote Fri 05-Feb-16 18:20:33

I couldn't leave you unanswered,

Just give yourself the gift of time.

Went through back to back pregnancies for a decade and eventually had two successes, but it does all stay with you.

It is horrible living with knowing you can never ever again take anything for granted, but it also makes you very aware of how precious life is.

beanmckean Fri 05-Feb-16 18:44:30

Thank you for your reply Quoteunquote.
Wow, I am just about coping now. Never mind back to back losses. It's just shocking the things that can happen and how they affect you. How lovely for you to have your 2 little ones now though.
I live in hope for a little miracle one day.
Thank you for your reply, means a lot x

Quoteunquote Fri 05-Feb-16 22:35:45

Honestly you will be fine, because you clearly are processing , just be kind to each other, and yourselves.

JeffreySadsacIsUnwell Fri 05-Feb-16 22:44:15

Did you have a negative HPT or scan at any point after your D&C? I'm wondering if there may be retained products, in which case you need medical attention or risk infection. With one of my miscarriages I had two D&Cs, both of which failed to remove the sac, and ended up miscarrying that naturally. Three miscarriages for the price of one! However, once I passed the sac (and with one of my other miscarriages), I went on to conceive the next cycle (2 DC).

It's worth asking for a scan to check everything's actually gone, or trying a HPT - if it's a faint positive, it may well be that the D&C didn't remove all the placenta for example. It's a fairly crude procedure.

I wish you all the best flowers.

beanmckean Fri 05-Feb-16 23:36:18

Hi JeffreySadsacIsUnwell, I did the preg test 3weeks after D&C as advised and was negative. I also did another one yesterday as still no cycle and it was also negative. I'm extremely bloated and feeling uncomfortable.
Wow, it actually shocks me that they could leave anything behind. After how horrible the whole thing is in the first place, it must have been awful for you to have had to go through all of that. I'm glad it all turned out well for you smile
If still nothing by Monday I will go back to my gp and request a scan and whatever other tests are available.
Would like to get physically back to normal so my heart can start healing too sad
Thank you for replying. I will let you know what the outcome is flowers x

RoTo72 Sat 06-Feb-16 02:39:12

Hi. Sorry for your loss. Ur so right in taking things at ur own pace. I was 10 weeks post d&c yesterday, but mine went smoothly. Id little bleeding after and after two weeks was back to ' normal' physically. Tho I did go on bc two weeks after d&c. I did have mild cramping as everything settled, but also had (tmi) horrible constipation and wind for weeks after. I did find after I recovered I could concentrate on emotional healing tho that's when the grief really hit me. For 3 weeks after d&c I cried constantly, but now tbh its more real if that makes sense. Hope u heal quickly and get yourself sorted. Hugs

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