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Early miscarriage

(8 Posts)
Sariegracie5 Tue 26-Jan-16 18:09:28

I'm new to all this but thought it might help to let it all out and maybe share experiences with other mums.
I found out that I was pregnant a little over a week ago. Although I already knew. I had all the same symptoms as I had previously when pregnant with my little girl. My husband and I were over joyed to learn that I was pregnant we had been Ttc for a while now and it was just the news we had been wishing for. 6 days after finding out I was pregnant I began spotting and having cramps. I called my local EPAU and they told me this was implantation bleeding. I carried on as normal but I knew something wasn't right. As the day went on the spotting became bleeding and cramps became worse. I was sent home from work and that evening decided I knew my body and knew this wasn't implantation bleeding. I took myself off to the EPAU where it was confirmed that I was no longer pregnant. I had an early stage miscarriage. The Dr was very matter of fact about it and told me that I was no longer pregnant, don't be too disheartened I already have had one successful pregnancy so I can do it and ushered me out of the room to see the next patient.
I left the EPAU in a daze. I was give no information, no follow up appointment, no empathy just was told I had an early stage miscarriage at 5 weeks.
I know it was early on in my pregnancy but I couldn't have wanted that pregnancy (and that baby as I seen it) any more than I did.
I'm grieving for a baby I had only known about for a week but it's hard. I am so confused as to why the Dr was so dismissive and hasn't provided me with any care suggestions.
I am upset beyond belief but my beautiful little 2 year old girl is my saving grace!

Lou1791 Tue 26-Jan-16 19:42:56

Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss. I think it is a heartbreaking experience regardless of how far along you were. I too experienced a lack of empathy and apparent understanding from doctors at the EPU (nurse I spoke to was wonderful.) I think others on here have said that Drs must deal with such situations daily and become desensitised to it but I'm not sure that's an excuse for a lack of people skills. My miscarriage was 3 weeks ago and I've become much less disappointed with my care over that time of thinking about it. They are doing their jobs and they (in my experience) were professional. I just think a simple "I'm sorry, do you have any questions?" would have made a huge difference to how I felt leaving and I'm sure you feel similarly. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to grieve. flowers

CwtchMeQuick Tue 26-Jan-16 20:16:56

I'm so sorry for your loss flowers

I had an early miscarriage last year and had a really insensitive nurse.
I think sometimes doctors and nurses see so many heartbreaking things that they do become desensitised and forget that we as patients sometimes need a more caring approach.

Allow yourself time to grieve and know that its okay not to be okay.
It's truly heartbreaking to lose a baby. My DS definitely kept me going and was my saving grace. I'm almost a year down the line and things do get easier as time goes on, even though it may not feel like it now. I'm still grieving for my baby but it's not as completely overwhelming as it was in the early days.
Take care of yourself flowers

DirtyDancing Thu 28-Jan-16 22:08:13

I am so sorry that this has happened to you.

I am in a very similar position. I have just had an early miscarriage at 6 weeks. It was just after Xmas. I also have a 2 year old. It took us 3 years to conceive our DS and as I am nearing my late 30's I am not sure if it will happen for us again or not, although this second time it was a lot quicker.

It has happened all so quickly.

Wow I am pregnant.. Excitement.. Dreaming of our baby..

Then complete devastation. Just 2 weeks later.

The physical experience- I am exhausted, the bleeding, crying myself to sleep. And the emotional experience- I can't come to terms with loosing our baby. Why? Is it my fault? What did I do wrong.

I hope we can one day recover from this and I will be thinkng if you X

Sariegracie5 Fri 29-Jan-16 21:24:49

Thank you all so much for your replies! I'm so sorry to hear that you have all had similar experiences to myself as I wouldn't wish it on anyone! I hope you are all doing as well as can be expected.

I'm finding now that it's nearly a week later that I want to talk about it but fdel family members and friends are either sick of listening or don't know what to say to me. My sister in law is 7 months pregnant and she is avoiding me because she feels bad. So thank you to you all for listening to me in a way, youy are really helping me come to terrms with it slowoly knowing its normal to have questions and to feel utter devastation.

You will never understand how much this thread has helped me already so know that in your devastation you have helped a stranger to begin to grieve too!

Thank you flowersstar

Wolfiefan Fri 29-Jan-16 21:29:07

Utter devastation is completely normal. I had a mmc then DS. Then an early mc (over Christmas) then DD.
I love my kids but I will never forget the babies I lost.
FWIW you are grieving. You can feel however you want and react however you need to. For as long as you need to.

Iggi999 Fri 29-Jan-16 21:33:12

Sorry for your loss flowers
You can always talk about it on here, when people in rl don't seem to want to listen.

DirtyDancing Sat 30-Jan-16 21:49:00

I am glad it has helped. I haven't been able to face talking about it yet, and think I am buring it deep inside me. Although it's hard, it's good you are talking about it.

It will live with us forever, but I hope one day the pain and sadness will heal a little xx

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