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Need advice - burying

(6 Posts)
Sallycinnamon17 Tue 26-Jan-16 15:02:51

I've been told by the hospital that it's up to me to 'dispose' (yes they actually used that horrible word) of my beautiful babies. They informed me that most funeral directors will be willing to bury them for me. I didn't think they would as they were only 12 weeks so obviously won't have any documentation/death certificate. Any advice would be great?.

Sallycinnamon17 Tue 26-Jan-16 18:21:51


AButterflyLightsBesideUs Tue 26-Jan-16 19:31:27

I have had two babies buried by the Co-operative Funeralcare in the last few years. One was 20 weeks, the other 13-14 weeks. No charge was made by the Co-op or the cemetery, just £50 to the gravedigger. It was a town cemetery. I'm told this is the norm. Nothing was ever said about the gestation or size of the babies, the funeral company were professional and respectful, I'd recommend them.

We had to sign a form for the release of a fetus or fetal remains- this was given to us by the hospital and we gave it to the funeral director so that they were able to collect the baby from the hospital mortuary.

We had the option to give any bits to the funeral director to be included in the casket (eg photos/letters/teddy/blanket) which we did do.

We chose to have simple graveside services each time with just me & DH, vicar and funeral director present to say some prayers of commendation and blessing, we read some poems and we laid the casket in the ground and covered it with earth and left flowers on top. We now have two little side by side graves.

I'm so sorry you lost your babies, and are now having to wade through these hard decisions.

The best thing if you can manage it is probably to phone a funeral directors and ask them to talk you through the process.

Loki17 Wed 27-Jan-16 06:03:21

I did it myself. I've posted about it in a thread called 'My story'. The miscarriage association has some advice. I'm sorry the hospital have been so unfeeling. flowers

Sallycinnamon17 Wed 27-Jan-16 07:41:03

Thank you both for replying, we're hoping to sort out arrangements today. I will definitely ring the co op abutterflylightsbesideus, thank you for the suggestion, there's one quite local to us. Can I ask how much does a grave plot cost? I'm completely clueless as I have never had to deal with anything like this.

AButterflyLightsBesideUs Wed 27-Jan-16 09:45:34

There was no charge made for a baby plot, I think that's standard. The charge was if you want to reserve an adult plot so that later on you could be interred there with your baby. That's quite pricy (think over £500) and we decided not to do that. I don't know if it makes any difference that in our cemetery there is no designated childrens area, the baby plots are tucked in smaller places eg near shrubs/trees that would not be large enough for a normal plot.

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