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can someone tell me what to do please

(7 Posts)
fruitandbarley Mon 18-Jan-16 00:37:17

Last Saturday night I lost our baby, I was 8 weeks, had had a gush of fluid new years eve, went to epu few days later where scan showed measuring 5 weeks, had a feeling it all wasn't right , started bleeding Saturday morning, it ramped right up at midnight and I was losing fist sized clots every 20 mins with awful contraction like pain, worse than when I had my daughter till about 6am when I passed out on the bathroom floor. My husband ended up calling am ambulance and I was in for 6 hours or so before coming home and being scanned the morning after which confirmed nothing left and no need for medical management. I went straight back to work, which 2 days ago I realised was a bad idea and have spoken to HR and arranged next week off. I feel like I need to not think about work for a few days as work in a very full on job which involves emails etc.. out of hours. I feel like I need to deal with what happened but also feel scared? Or like I can't be bothered talking about it. I also feel a bit scared to leave the house on my own, which for me is unheard of, I'm usually out everyday. I can and have spoken to my husband about how were both feeling. But was wondering if anyone had any advice on what I can do on this week off to help me ??

Brenna24 Mon 18-Jan-16 00:46:08

The Miscarriage Association have a helpline

I wonder if you should give them a call and have a chat with someone who is trained to give advice. They do groups in some parts of the country too.

Apart from that I would have a good cry, a nice long bath, get some good books and lounge around reading and then go for some nice walks with your DH to relax and then get some of your confidence back? I would try and not schedule doing much at all. Just go with the flow and do what you feel like. A beach or woodland walk and then a nice cup of hot chocolate or tea and cake would be lovely.

Brenna24 Mon 18-Jan-16 00:49:48

Also I am really sorry you are going through this. I went through similar in October and am still not fully over it yet. It takes time. Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve and to have bad days.

fruitandbarley Mon 18-Jan-16 01:09:14

Thank you so much for replying. I'm sorry you've been through this as well. I feel like I ought to and need to talk to someone but wouldn't even know where to start, and feel like the flood gates might open and I woundnt be able to stop and that scares me.

smellsofelderberries Mon 18-Jan-16 13:20:03

I think it's really normal to not want to leave the house. I had spotting and some light bleeding at 7.5 weeks (I had a very strong feeling the pregnancy wasn't developing normally anyway) and found it really hard to get out of the house incase it ramped up and I started miscarrying away from home. It's such a scary time as you aren't in control of a lot of what your body is doing. Go easy on yourself- I ended up having almost 6 weeks off work (though two weeks of that was planned holiday over Christmas) from the time I started spotting to having a weeks recovery from my ERPC last week.

Loki17 Mon 18-Jan-16 17:29:05

So sorry that you have been through this. I only had time off whilst I was bleeding. I found burying the remains helped a lot. Writing the baby a letter etc. I've documented the whole awful experience in a thread called 'my story'. I've learned you have to do whatever feels right to you. Good luck flowers

Brenna24 Mon 18-Jan-16 18:04:34

Elderberries I worried about it ramping up. Then I went out and bought those incontinence pads for beds and pulls ups for 15 year old boys (which just fit me). I made what I called my 'spill kit' with a pad, 2 nappies, a pair of leggings and a long top, wipes, absorbent paper roll and a bin bag. I figured that gave me a change of clothes, absorbant pants and a bin bad and pad to put on the car seat to get home. Plus some paper roll to wipe up any blood on the floor. I then felt safe to leave the house dragging that everywhere with me. It might have been unneccessary but it made me feel capable.

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