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Its still fresh in my mind

(5 Posts)
danipate Wed 13-Jan-16 20:58:50

i miscarried in march last year at 7 weeks, had been having brown discharge since 3 weeks, had a scan at 6 weeks and everything seemed to be okay, then started bleeding 5 days later. the day after i was scanned to show little bean had no heartbeat, i was given the oral pill to help speed things up, i was hurt, angry, and felt really alone, my partner did as much as he could to help, i ended up collapsing 4 days later with the blood loss, i went back to the hospital and the baby was still inside, so they had to remove it, which was more roaming around with me, they asked if i wanted them to send babby off to see if they could find a cause for the miscarriage, but i said no, i think i said no because i couldnt have dealt with the guilt in case it was something id done, i still dream about the whole thing, i remember the pain so vividly, it frightens me, i thought i would of been able to deal with it a bit more now with it being nearly almost a year ago, but all i can think about is how old the baby would of been now, would he/she have had a lot of/or no hair, how much would he/she have weighed, would they have been getting theyre first teeth now. i cant see myself getting past this :'(

bonzo77 Wed 13-Jan-16 21:15:14

Sorry for your loss. It does stay with you. I think it stays for ever. But you get new memories that shine a bit brighter. It's still early days. Less than a year. Maybe think about what you'd like to do in the anniversary. Have you been in touch with Tommy's? Or the miscarriage association? Even the Samaritans might help?

Early pregnancies are incredibly robust if everything is fine. They're well protected in your pelvis, and even pretty well insulated from your blood stream early on. What I'm saying is that it's highly unlikely that you could have done anything to cause or prevent it. It was almost certainly an unpreventable tragedy.

tassisssss Wed 13-Jan-16 21:22:57

So sorry, it's tough.

I had 2 miscarriages 10/11 years ago and I still think about them often.

I'd had a baby previously and I was astonished how like giving birth it all felt, the pain, the hormones, flip I even had milk (hadn't long stopped BFing). Stupidly I hardly spoke about it at the time. Talking about it helps.

Go and talk to your GP. I am confident the reason they didn't send anything away to be tested was because, there is no reason why you would have miscarried. The Tommy's website is helpful.

danipate Wed 13-Jan-16 21:41:04

thank you both for your advice, i think i do need to get it all out, i just dont like talking to my relatives about it as i think they maybe getting fed up about it, my younger sister asked the other week, why do i still get upset, it was months ago, i was fuming inside. i think im going to make an appointment with a counselor and see if it helps, thank you both again, will also try Tommys

redstrawberries101 Thu 14-Jan-16 10:39:53

There are a few active threads on this forum too which you could join. I certainly finds talking about it helps loads X

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