It was still very early in the pregnancy but the grief I'm experiencing is for the lost future and the hope we had for our second child. It's for the vision of the cute toddler who's just learned to walk and talk, it's for baby cuddles and the first day of school, it's for not being able to see a big sister's face upon first meeting their sibling.
I lie here contracting just like I did with my first and only child, only this time there is no happy ending. The timing couldn't be worse for me - I've an important application to get done in a week and so much work still to do for it but I just don't feel like I want to. I can't stop crying long enough to be able to.
I don't have anyone I can talk to about this. My oh isn't the greatest communicator & my mum went home this morning 4 hours away after looking after my child for the weekend.
I'm scared of passing what was essentially only a cluster of cells, a life that didn't get so far as to have a heartbeat. That should make me feel better apparently but it just makes me feel worse, like it wasn't even given a chance. I want it to hurry up and end and I want it to never end.
I just don't know why I'm doing all I do know is that I'm having a miscarriage right now and I feel so lonely.
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
So lonely and hurting
99 replies
Hansolosyoyo · 11/01/2016 12:20
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