Practical miscarriage advice

[AKP79]

I'm currently miscarrying. I was given 4 tablets internally yesterday lunchtime for a medically managed miscarriage. I just have a few questions (forgive me if they're a bit stupid):

• how do I wash? I'm bleeding steadily. Is it ok to have a shower or bath and from a practical point of view how do I deal with the blood? Old towel??
  

• I had a small gush of blood yesterday and have been bleeding steadily and fairly heavily since. However, it's nowhere near as heavy as the hospital led me to believe it would be. Does this mean things haven't got going properly yet?
  

• Same with pain. I had a few cramps yesterday which were manageable with paracetamol, but o have no pain now and I think the bleeding has slowed. I'm weirdly finding the lack of cramps unnerving.
  

• I have only passed one large clot, there should be more than this shouldn't there?
  

If anyone has any helpful advice or insights that would be great.

[mrsjskelton]

I'm sorry for your loss I think I'd go with the old towel to wash, I don't think there's a lot else you can do.
A close friend went through the exact same thing and she had a very sudden MASSIVE bleed. From what she told me she nearly passed out - so my practical input would be to try and have someone with you. I wish you all the best x

[Moving15]

When I miscarried I had the steady period type bleed and achey cramps you describe for a few days but then a very heavy sudden loss. It was very heavy and unpredictable and included many bulky clots as large as organs. It was like my body opened up and threw everything out. I had hardly any strong cramps but i did have a bearing down sensition like i needed to poo. Similar in an very mild way to birth.
It is different for everyone but from my experience, I would encourage you to stay home and rest until your body has worked through things. If you feel up to it someone should be around for you. My loss was so sudden and heavy I had to call an ambulance take me to the hospital as in everything that came out the placenta was still retained.

With a light loss at present showers shouldn't be a problem. Baths might be a bit messy.

Best wishes to you, it is a difficult time. X

[AKP79]

Thank you for the advice both. The bleeding has virtually stopped so I was able to shower with ease. Bit concerned that things have stopped though, I know I haven't passed the baby or enough of the lining etc.

[Emmpp]

When I miscarried I had heavy bleeding few days, first day few large (fist size) clots, followed by a week of heavy-ish bleeding with small clots every now and then.
I would go just for a shower, baths are not recommended (risk of infection).

I wish you well, it's a tough time !

[Polgen20]

I think every mc is different and varies with how far into the pregnancy it was, with my recent loss which was fairly early I experienced similar to you and was able to treat it the same as a normal period, I had regular showers to feel 'clean' but avoided baths just as I would with a period as you can't use a tampon with the mc bleed so probably wouldn't be pleasant! As for the pain and bleeding, just because it isn't excruciating and heavy does not mean something is necessarily 'wrong'. I bled only for a few days with the first days being the heaviest but apart from one clot very early on (the baby) the rest was fairly normal. If the bleeding has stopped though I'd carry on wearing a pad for atleast a few days as sometimes it can stop/start a little.

Hope you are doing okay

[AKP79]

Thanks both, it's so difficult when it's all so unknown.

I'm 10 weeks gone today, I had an internal scan yesterday before they gave me the tablets and they confirmed that the sac was still growing and reflected the 9-10 weeks stage, but the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks, so last thurs it was measuring 6 weeks and since then it had shrunk in size a little. But because the sac was still measuring 9-10 weeks I assumed there would be more bleeding and more loss than one clot.

[spilttheteaagain]

I'm sorry OP. I would also shower and keep wearing pads, stay home and with someone.

It may not be a total bloodbath though, everyone is different. I was in hospital yesterday for medical management at 13 weeks. They insist you do it in hospital by this point and kept me nil by mouth the whole time (in case theatre needed) and wanted a line in my arm in case of need of IV fluids due to heavy bleeding. I was unsurprisingly freaked out by this, refused the IV needle, and as it happened have had less bleeding than a period. Even the staff were surprised how little there was. Baby & placenta all out fine and intact so no retained tissue. I'm wearing a pad but I've been wearing it for the last 5 hours and will change it because it'll get whiffy rather than because it's full.

Just to give you hope that it might not be too bad!

The pain I found was really soothed by hot water bottles and firm lower back rubs by DH through the worst half hour of cramping just before the baby came. Took ibuprofen once home for the after aches.

If it does get quite heavy, pad & pants with yoga type leggings on top to keep everything securely in place under your trousers/pjs can be helpful.

I hope it's over soon.

[AKP79]

spilttheteaagain thank you for that. I am starting to think that perhaps I have fully miscarried. I'm a little bit sad because my DH really wanted to bury the sac. He's not coping well with the miscarriage and I think it really would of helped him draw some closure.

This may sound really odd but I also feel like a fraud. I feel absolutely fine today, no pain, I'm not tired etc all the things I thought I would feel and had prepared for. I'm really struggling to get my head around it all.

[Peach1886]

Hello AKP, so sorry for your loss, you might find it all calms down and then starts up again, and it can do that several times and then drizzle on for ages. Don't worry about the fraud feeling, it is such a strange thing to get your head round that it's best to just go with it hour by hour and just feel what you feel. I would just wait and see what happens, and if you and DP need to mark the loss even if there isn't anything to bury (the sac will be small and not necessarily recognisable) then maybe think about burying the test stick if you still have it, or a scan photo. Sometimes it helps to have a small "ceremony" to say goodbye - this is a really personal thing, some people don't want any "fuss" and just want to get back to everyday life, whereas some people need something more formal. All the best xxx