Not really looking for advice at this stage, just some hand holding. 10 days ago, I had some spotting, Went to EPU and they could see a yolk sac but no heart beat. Could've been too early (around 5-6 weeks) so they booked me in for another scan next week. I'm away at my parents' and last night I started to bleed heavily. Somehow managed to get an appointment at the EPU here and they confirmed an incomplete miscarriage (at nearly 8 weeks). I am completely and utterly devastated. The Dr didn't help things by being an utter a*se about it but that's another story, and I will be making a complaint against him.
I just don't know what to do with myself. I want my baby back. My DH and the rest of my family who are here for Christmas have been lovely and have helped distract me but I'm so, so sad. I don't think I've ever felt this sense of loss before. We have so much going on over the next week - a friend's wedding, people coming to ours on NY day, and I don't want to see anyone outside my immediate family. I want to feel pregnant again.
I hate the fact that I'm bleeding so much. Every time I go to the toilet I keep wondering, is that my baby? I'm wearing these hideous sanitary towels and it just all feels so undignified.
Sorry if this is all sounding melodramatic but it genuinely is how I'm feeling right now. I have a DD who's 2 and have just finished putting out her presents for tomorrow. I just want to enjoy Christmas day but I just feel empty.
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
I've lost my baby
40 replies
SeriousStuff · 25/12/2015 01:55
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