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Need some help and guidance.

(15 Posts)
Loki17 Wed 23-Dec-15 15:21:59

I am 10 weeks 5 days today. We went for an early scan this morning so that we could tell our dd and our families tomorrow. Sadly, the scan showed that the baby had stopped developing at 7-8 weeks. The scan showed that the sac is starting to collapse but the clinic have booked me in to be seen on the 28th which is the soonest they can see me. I don't know what to do now. I'm worried about what is going to happen next. I was still being sick, even this morning. On Monday I was sick after every meal. My boobs hurt, I felt exhausted. This came out of nowhere. Looking back, it was very different to my pregnancy with dd because I didn't feel sick at all with her. I've also been experiencing thicker discharge coming away over the last few days. Could that be my mucous plug? I can't make sense of anything. I just need someone to tell me what is going to happen now. I'm terrified I'm going to start bleeding on Christmas day and ruin it for my dd.

JoMalones Wed 23-Dec-15 15:28:45

I'm so sorry for your loss.
My baby had passed 3 weeks before the scan. Personally, I had no real symptoms other than not feeling right. I did have heavy discharge on hindsight but thought that was part of the pregnancy. I had ERPC as my body doesn't seem to like labour.

It is worth being prepared and you will need these things anyway.... Get bed mats, lots of sanitary towels, old or cheap knickers, painkillers. There is a thread a few below with other tips.

I hope it doesn't happen for you, but if it does that it is quick and painless.

Loki17 Wed 23-Dec-15 15:50:18

Thanks. What is an ERPC? I really don't know what anything is or what to expect

KittyandTeal Wed 23-Dec-15 15:56:19

Have you been given any advice from hospital? I'm so sorry you are going through this. I haven't experienced an 'early' (I totally understand it won't feel that way to you) loss. I would get some hardcore pain killers in and some maternity pads just in case things happen before your scan.

Is there anyone you can tell that can help you through the next few days if things do start? You might want someone to be around to entertain dd and stop her jumping on you etc.

An erpc is a surgical option rather than passing the pregnancy/baby naturally. It means you can go in and come out of hospital then deal with 'normal' period type bleeding after.

Loki17 Wed 23-Dec-15 16:08:58

I went to a private clinic. It was supposed to be confirmation before we announced it. I'd had such awful sickness that I thought all would be fine. My dh will be here and he is great. We are hosting for his family. I'm supposed to be cooking for 12. DH had already offered to cancel but I don't want to because dd would know something was wrong. I think I need the distraction. I don't know how you cope with a 'late' loss. This is horrendous enough. Thank you for replying.

JoMalones Wed 23-Dec-15 16:57:48

Sorry, I didn't realise you hadn't had medical advice. The 3 options given to me were to wait for it to pass, medical management (tablets and pessaries) or surgical to remove the pregnancy. Look on the miscarriage association website as they have details of all 3.

Your daughter will be surrounded by family and all her new presents so probably won't notice if anything does happen. I would just be prepared just in case, and you will also need everything with whichever route you choose. thanks

RoTo72 Wed 23-Dec-15 18:19:31

Hi Loki, I think I saw u on the pregnancy thread. Sorry for ur loss. I too had a missed miscarriage. Baby had passed a few weeks before. I was 12 weeks. I was going to wait to pass naturally but opted for erpc as I was frightened. It was the best for me. I was in and out of hospital within a few hours and recovered physically v quick with only light bleeding for few days that changed to spotting. If u could call ur epu and ask advice. Unfortunately emotionally I'm no where near recovered. jo is right tho, with all hung on ur daughter should be well distracted xx

Loki17 Wed 23-Dec-15 18:38:36

Thanks both. I think I'm going to opt for medical management if it hasn't started by my appointment on the 28th. Being in limbo is horrible and it's only been a few hours.

Loki17 Wed 23-Dec-15 22:54:10

What do I do when I pass the baby? I can't flush the toilet. what are my options?

JoMalones Wed 23-Dec-15 23:27:04

I was recommended to get Tupperware ready too. It is up to you. The baby will be in the sac and at 7-8 week size will still be very small so you may not be able to identify the sac from other clots.

Have you thought about what you would do if it happened at hospital? That is something they will ask in hospital. You may want to bury it, we chose to have the communal cremation at the hospital. That's a very personal choice and something that's awful to think about.

Gentle hugs at this awful time

Loki17 Thu 24-Dec-15 08:27:49

Thank you so much for answering my questions. I've no idea what I'm doing. I feel like I'm in limbo but at the same time hoping to get through today and tomorrow before anything happens. I have a 4 year old dd whom we didn't tell in case something like this happened. My dh has been great support but he fell to pieces too last night. I think if it happens in hospital I'd do the same as you. I had a panic last night over the idea of flushing the toilet. If it happens at home I'm told I can take it to the hospital too. I think I'd rather that. Thank you again. I'm really grateful for your replies.

JoMalones Thu 24-Dec-15 10:03:24

No problem, feel free to pm me if you like. We told our children about the pregnancy as we had a healthy scan which unfortunately meant we had to tell them that it had stopped growing. That was the worst bit but at least they understood why I spent so long in bed/bathroom and after as I've had complications since.

HypothyroidCeliac Sun 27-Dec-15 03:19:34

Having a miscarriage as I type this. I started brown spotting on Saturday, found out he had died a month ago on Tuesday and lost him by Wednesday. After passed the sack, a blood clot got stuck in the opening of my cervix and caused havoc so back to A&E we went. Now the scan on Tuesday showed us (externally and internally) 1 fetus. Yet I am sat here gushing water out of my vagina (double checked the origin of the fluid) and another larger object. I'm not sure what to think of this or whether I need to be concerned. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME??? I'm sat on the loo with lovely diarrhoea so please respond. I'll be here a while.
Xoxo
Julia 23

Loki17 Sun 27-Dec-15 06:34:59

Julia you need to go back to A&E or phone NHS direct. I'm sorry you are going through this. Please get medical help though.

JoMalones Sun 27-Dec-15 13:41:41

Julia, I hope you've gone to A&E

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