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Scared to sleep?

(4 Posts)
joannaemilie Tue 08-Dec-15 01:53:26

I suffered a miscarriage at the beginning of November, caused by a blighted ovum. I had a week off of work whilst my body miscarried and then a weeks holiday and by then I felt I had come to terms with what had happened.

Ever since the miscarriage had been confirmed I haven't been able to sleep alone or without something going on around me or the TV on until my body just gives in. Me and my partner we're just watching tv and i almost fell asleep. But as soon as he turned it off and turned the light off I just can't go to sleep. I'm tired. But I can't bring myself to just lay my head down, close my eyes and slowly drift off.
But I don't understand whats causing it either. I've come to terms and grieved for my loss. I still remember it happened, but the grief doesn't strike me like before anymore..

I know its not my sleeping pattern as I know I feel scared to try and sleep. But I dont know what I'm scared of or why I'm scared.

Has anyone had this? Or does anyone have any tips on how to overcome this? Xx

BeenAndGone Tue 08-Dec-15 08:46:55

So sorry about your MC. I had mmc in October and had the same problems sleeping. I would be awake for hours mumsnetting or on my phone, avoiding that quiet time alone where i would think about the MC.

I was also scared of that horrible feeling when you wake up and for a split second forget, then remember your not pregnant anymore and have to go through the horrible feelings all over again.

Ultimately it was a way of processing what had happened I guess. I felt much better when I read in the miscarriage association that insomnia is common after MC. Strangely, I felt ok I'm the day, had gone back to work but sleep issue persisted for a month or so.

KittyandTeal Tue 08-Dec-15 10:04:12

Im really sorry you're going through this.

Sleep problems are really common with grief. I had sleep problems on and off since dd2 was stillborn. I have used a mixture of sleeping tablets from the gp and also mindfulness app on my phone. There is a really good one my counsellor recommended called calm.com which I often listen to when trying to sleep

BipBippadotta Tue 08-Dec-15 15:41:01

I'm so sorry to hear about your mc. It must be awful to have these lingering sleep problems.

After my losses, I've found my sleep changed a lot - either I was exhausted & slept deeply & dreamlessly, or had the fear of sleep you describe. Sometimes it felt like an anxiety about time: another day passing & taking me further & further away from my pregnancy. At other times it feels like the fear of waking and remembering again, as Been says.

I've been taking Melatonin and that helps.

Re: grief - I think the physical aspects of grief can linger on even when you've made peace with what happened in your mind. Apart from sleep disturbances I also had a total inability to concentrate, clumsiness, anxious clenching jaw, etc. A miscarriage is a shock to the system; sometimes it will take a while to work itself out. Take care of yourself in the meantime. I hope your partner is looking after you.

flowers

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