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surgical management

(16 Posts)
RoTo72 Wed 25-Nov-15 09:49:21

Horrible term. But just off phone to epu. Have booked myself in for Friday for surgical management. Went for scan on 9th and saw fetus measuring 6weeks but no heartbeat. Went back on Monday and no fetus and collapsed sac. Have had cramping from before first scan and some spotting. From Thu cramping got worse and some brown/red spotting. Have had stronger cramps/contraction like pains from Monday and more spotting, but nothing seems to be moving. I'm finding the waiting unbearable and heartbreaking. I'm frightened. Looking reassurance from other ladies who used surgical method. This has to be the worst experience of my life and feel the pain and waiting is adding to the feelings of loss.

FishWithABicycle Wed 25-Nov-15 10:03:58

flowers
Sorry for your loss.
There is no option that isn't horrible. But you'll get through it.
Surgical management means less waiting around but you still have an extra long and heavy period afterwards, and the procedure, while not painful, is no picnic. Be kind to yourself. There isn't a "right" thing to do, so follow your instincts.

Bonywasawarriorwayayix Wed 25-Nov-15 10:16:42

Sorry for your loss RoTo. I had surgical management last month. It was definitely better to get the medical bit out the way so we could start grieving properly. I had little bleeding after the first 2 days, then it was of and on for a few days.
Remember to give yourself time to recover physically and don't push yourself to get over it emotionally. At one point I thought I was over the 'sad bit', then it hit me again multiple times. Whatever you feel is fine. [hugs]

RoTo72 Wed 25-Nov-15 10:26:00

Thank you both so much for replying. As I'm sure u can tell this is my first m/c. The pregnancy was not planned, I'm 43 with a 15yr old son, bu I was delighted. Its good to hear from women who have been here. Giving me hope that I will, eventually, feel semi normal one day. I felt stronger this morning after making the decision. Now I'm in tears again at the loss. This might sound stupid, but I'm glad of the tears, it's like om honouring my angel.

cloudjumper Fri 27-Nov-15 10:13:39

So sorry you have to go through this RoTo. Hope it all goes OK for you today!
I had surgical management with my first mc, and it was very smooth and almost pain free. I mainly remember the overwhelming feeling of relief that the physical part was over at least. Like you, I had been waiting for things to happen naturally, and the uncertainty was excruciating. The ERPC allowed me to draw a line and focus on the mental recovery.

Take it easy and take your time, don't put any pressure on yourself to go back to 'normal' as quickly as possible. Take time to grieve, in whichever way you feel is best for you. It's going to be a rollercoaster for a while, but I promise you, it will get better eventually. flowers

MaudGonneMad Fri 27-Nov-15 10:19:07

Sorry for your loss. I had it 2 weeks ago. Bright bleeding for a couple of hours, then it tailed off to spotting for a few days. All finished with after a week. Don't underestimate the effect of the anasthetic, I was woozy and extremely fatigued for a couple of days. Like you I wanted to get things over with quickly and I was frightened about dealing with passing tissue and a sac while alone (my DH works away). The hospital were wonderful to me, booked me in the next day, was taken down early, and gave me a private room before and after. I was tearful while being brought down to theatre , in theatre and in recovery but the kindness and sensitivity of the staff was v comforting. Hope this reassures you somewhat flowers

RoTo72 Fri 27-Nov-15 12:12:04

Hi. I had it this morning. Home already. The staff were wonderful, really so kind and understanding. I was tearful in recovery. Feel tired and sore now. They said I was about 12 weeks but baby died at 6 weeks. That shocked me a bit, especially as apart from this week id only v mild spotting and cramping. God knows when I would have mc naturally, so at least I know now iv done the right thing

Bonywasawarriorwayayix Fri 27-Nov-15 14:15:21

I'm glad you're home RoTo. My baby died 2-3 weeks before I realised and it's odd to think we don't always notice.
Be kind to yourself now. [more hugs].

RoTo72 Fri 27-Nov-15 15:51:08

It is Bony, I still had morning sickness up to last week. They said it was because there was pregnancy hormones until everything passes.

MaudGonneMad Fri 27-Nov-15 17:11:14

Take it easy Roto and try and rest as much as you can. Hope you are ok flowers

RoTo72 Fri 27-Nov-15 17:22:30

Xx

BelleJoy73 Sun 29-Nov-15 01:25:59

Hey RoTo. First, I am so sorry for your loss. I am 42 and found out a couple of days ago that I have had a MMC, even after seeing a heartbeat at the 7 week-scan. It's heartbreaking isn't it? I am living in a foreign country where DCs are not very common. They tend to prefer medical management but I'm not sure if that is the way to go. I have had hardly any pain and only a bit of spotting and am afraid of what is to come. Reading about your experience with surgical management (it is a horrible, horrible term) has opened my eyes and has convinced me that this is what I want to do.

I suppose what I am trying to say in this fog, which is all-enveloping, is that you are not alone.

Keep well flowers

RoTo72 Sun 29-Nov-15 08:49:51

Thank you Belle. I had a v rough day yesterday. I woke up no bleeding r cramping and I thought, what now? I just cried constantly, felt v empty. Started bleeding last night. Just like af. That upset me too, cos then I thought when will it be over. Head is everywhere at min.

RoTo72 Sun 29-Nov-15 08:50:50

Tho I still think eprc was the right decision for me.

drasticfantastic Sun 29-Nov-15 08:58:13

I'm so sorry for your loss. thanks

I've unfortunately had two missed miscarriages, found at scans. The first time I let everything happen naturally and the second time I had the surgery. Surgery was, for me, the better option. It took the waiting out of it, which is what I found most difficult with the natural process.

But no option is easy. I hope you're doing ok. Be kind to yourself and take care.

RoTo72 Sun 29-Nov-15 09:02:10

Thank you x

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