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Miscarriage after struggling to conceive

(9 Posts)
LittleTink76 Mon 23-Nov-15 23:01:22

We struggled to conceive our second baby, and that was hard enough to cope with. I finally got pregnant after TTC for over 2 & half years & I lost the baby at 10 weeks.

I just wondered if anyone else had been through the same.

We really want to try again but I'm worried about struggling to conceive again & if I did get pregnant worried about miscarrying. I'm 39 so I know age is not really on my side.

Vap0 Tue 24-Nov-15 07:16:03

Hi tink I'm in a similar position but without any DC already. On month 24 we had our bfp only to lose it early at 4w6d in August this year. We managed to get another bfp this month (month 27) and am now at 4w2d and am pretty terrified as have had cramping and spotting exactly like mc 1 started. Dr said she thinks it probably is another mc but can't tell or do anything as its so early. Have had a blood test yesterday and another planned for wed to check HCG levels to see if they are rising. No actual blood yet, just spotting. I have everything crossed it won't happen again! I'm 34 in April.
When do you think you'll try again? How old is DC?
It is so crap when dealing with infertility for so long and then losing it. Its difficult for others to understand how difficult infertility is and how it affects you.
How long has it been since you mc? Are your cycles back to normal?

LittleTink76 Tue 24-Nov-15 09:23:58

Fingers crossed for you that its not another MC Vap0 I think spotting & cramping in pregnancy can be quite common.

Life can be so very cruel. Nobody really understand the pain of infertility unless they've been through it. In all the time we've been trying I've seen so many people get their second baby & that has been so hard to deal with.

I know I'm lucky DD & she's 5, I never wanted such a big age gap.

My MC was 3rd November, the bleeding from my mc turned in to spotting & the spotting has just stopped so we DTD for the first time since the MC last night. I've no idea when I'll ovulate or get my first period although I'm hoping I won't get my period.

I had a scan last week & they said something is still there so I've got to go back for another scan on Friday.

I really hope everything is okay for you.

Vap0 Tue 24-Nov-15 22:24:20

Hi
Good luck with your Friday scan. I hope the remains have gone (meant in the nicest possible way) by then so you can move on. So true about people having babies and so many of them. Stupidly I told sil we had started trying but it wasn't working after about a year or maybe longer. She then decided it would be nice to have a baby at the same time as me. They now have a 7 month old who was thought of at least a year after we had started trying! Argh! Really struggle holding that child. And the number of friends who i can't see anymore because they either have a small child (conceived after we started trying) or are pregnant. Argh. I'm turning into a miserable hermit. We need to have a baby so I can find myself some new friends as I've lost all of mine to pregnancy.
What a long mc you've had, must have been so difficult. I hope you manage to get caught again soon. Although being in the infertility club I know it's not that easy! No news here. Still waiting and not much happening apart from brown spotting still (4days now)......

LittleBear01 Tue 24-Nov-15 22:38:24

I miscarried twins on 18th October at almost 8 weeks - they were conceived via IVF after more than 2 years of trying and 2 failed IVF cycles. It's heartbreaking, isn't it? I'm not coping very well as have no idea if I'll ever be able to get pregnant again.

Vap0 Wed 25-Nov-15 07:19:38

littlebear I'm so sad for you and sorry for your loss.
Can you have another IVF cycle?
My heart goes out to you x

LittleTink76 Wed 25-Nov-15 11:15:50

Thanks Vap0, I know what you mean.

That must have been so hard & I know how it feels. My colleague got pregnant first cycle of TTC with her second, I'd already been TTC over 18 months when she announced it. She now has an 8 month old baby. Another girl I know is pregnant with her fourth, she was pregnant at same time as me with her first. I'm the same I've avoided contact with people who've bit pregnant with their second.

Nobody really understand the pain of struggling to conceive unless they've been through it.

I spotted for one day then it go heavier over night, I had a scan the next day & they confirmed there was no heartbeat, that afternoon the bleeding got heavier & the cramps started & I also started to lose the pregnancy. I had chosen to lose it naturally.

Thank you , I hope you do too & hope you're OK.

So sorry LittleBear, life can be very cruel. Will you try IVF again?

LittleBear01 Wed 25-Nov-15 21:42:30

Thanks Vap0 and LittleTink and I'm sorry you've had to suffer the pain of miscarriage too. We have one more funded IVF cycle so will go ahead with that in the new year. I really struggle to be around babies/pregnant women since my miscarriage, and know 2 people who are due within days of when I should be. Hopefully the future is bright for all of us flowers

Lavanda Sat 28-Nov-15 14:06:08

I am in a similar position- 1DC who is 6 and since she was 3yrs we have been trying for the 2nd one. I thought it would be easy, as first time I fell pregnant first month we have tried and my pregnancy was really easy and smooth.
In 2013 I had 1st mc at 8wks and it took 2.5yrs to conceive again. Sadly I had 2nd mc last week again at 8 wks.
It is very hard to face yet another loss when you are trying for so long to get pregnant, then finally you get excited and at the same time super worried that your pregnancy can end at any time.
I am 38, soon turning 39 and I am not sure if I am mentally ready to do it again...

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