Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!
Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2441180-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-29-Support-for-Tests-Treatments-and-Trying-Again
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 30 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again
765 replies
forestnest · 04/09/2015 12:30
OP posts:
BumbleBee0 ·
04/09/2015 12:48
Thanks for the new thread forest!
missie so sorry to hear of your losses and your latest loss sounds particularly hard given a good 12wk scan. 
I hope the erpc goes ok today and afterwards you feel ok physically. Please continue posting here, it really is a wonderful place to be during such a shit, dark time. You definitely won't be feeling lonely with us. 
flower go go eggs for today!! Hope it isn't too painful afterwards and you can rest up.
gakay I'm not sure if you can get a referral to Coventry, most of us on here have gone without one. It's £360 fixed price which includes a discussion with a professor, scan, biopsy, phone consultation with a prof to discuss results and a treatment plan (which you then give to GP/consultant who hopefully will prescribe the drugs!). The results take about 4wks.
Talking of Coventry I was hoping bootles would be lurking as I sent an update email to them last night and prof B replied first thing this morning! 
If anyone would like to join the fb group you can pm me with your email or fb name and pic description and I'll add you.
Allmychildrenhavepaws ·
04/09/2015 13:11
missy thinking of you today hun...you'll be home soon x
hels268 ·
04/09/2015 16:36
forest thank you for the new thread..at some stage I may figure out how to do it!!
Welcomeminny so sorry to hear what has happened. It will be over by now but I wanted to share I have just had an ERPC a couple of days ago and I managed without the codeine which actually made it easier to recover from - physically at least - last time around I had codeine and it knocked me for six. I was terrified the first time too, but it was okay, and the staff really have looked after me well both times.
I really feel for you having had good scans until the 12 week point, it must be incredibly difficult, so give yourself lots of space and time.
Thinking of you, its so hard in these first days afterwards, but you will find support here . Also if you can trust in your friends and family - don't keep it to yourself. I've shared more with my friends this time and they have really come good, bless them.
Another thing - which may be isn't for right now while you digest everything - but a few of us on here have talked about counselling - bereavement type counselling in particular - and while this might feel bit airy fairy for some, it can be so helpful. I resisted it for a long time thinking it wasn't for me, but it can really be a load off your shoulders even with just one or two sessions.
Ours was just 7 weeks 5 days and from the 5 mc, was the first sign of a baby actually in there! We hope that was a positive sign, and just really horrible shit luck that a haematoma seems to have been the cause this time around.
Thank you ladies all for the kind words over the last few days. It really has helped.
I'm taking your advice and being good to myself - I am taking a little break from work which I haven't with any of the previous mc.
Freckle - we went on a self imposed break from TTC and while it felt counter-intuitive at first, we eventually found it very helpful. That was after mc number 4. We concentrated on keeping healthy, taking the right supplements, and generally taking the pressure off ourselves. We also found it refreshing that sex wasn't about procreating, which as you all probably know, can often kill the magic! 
The break lasted longer than we originally intended as we had the nk cell uterine biopsy but had to wait 3 months for a proper 'peak' fertility sign on the Clearblue ovulation test - that was bloody frustrating. But overall I think the break did us good, and left us in a better frame of mind for dealing with this latest situation. You do need to build yourself up again, or at least I've found that a lesson for me.
xx
Minnie74 ·
04/09/2015 22:59
Thanks for the new thread forest
My stats:
Me 40 (till next month) Dh 42
Mc1 2010 @6 weeks natural
Ds born dec 2011
Mc2 August 2014 @6 weeks natural
Mc3 March 2015 @12 weeks baby died 10+5 following two good scans. Couldn't grow cells but looked abnormal so presume bad egg. Had med management
Mc4 August 2015 @8+5 baby measured 8+5 at scan. On progesterone that time. Med management. Currently waiting for follow up testing results.
Had all rmc tests all normal, Coventry uNk cells also normal so pretty much I'm just old and not much I can do about that. Fed up, still bleeding, desperate to get ttc and get pregnant again but worried I never will. 
But booked a holiday to Northumberland in Oct (has some special memories for us). No point saving money for maternity leaves that don't happen. Also thinking about getting rid of all baby stuff in the hope of invoking the law of Sod!
missie hope today went as ok as it could. take time to heal and get stronger x
bumble yay for 15 weeks. That seems to have whizzed by! (Obviously not for you!) And mrsd past half way- fab!
flower fingers crossed for your call tomorrow. Hope the egg/sperm combo have done what they need to do!
BumbleBee0 ·
05/09/2015 10:05
missie don't apologise, this is exactly what the thread is for, to offload and tell us all your feelings. So sorry the hospital were shit. Compassion and empathy costs nothing and it sounds like the hospital is a bit of a shambles to not have procedures in place to ensure women having erpcs are identified and treated more sensitively. Glad it went ok physically though and you're not too sore.
I think feeling numb is a very common feeling ...and then it hits
Your comments about planning what to buy struck a cord. With mc1 I never thought I wouldn't have the baby, right from the BFP. After having DS no problems I just assumed next time it would be fine too. I had pictured so many things, planned what to buy, picked my DS's new bedroom furniture (so he could vacate the nursery), thought about names, lots of things, my mum had already bought a double buggy in the sale. It took a long time to stop crying about that one, and I still feel sad now and that I should have a 7mth old.
So please don't feel alone and take your time to grieve and come to terms with it all. Big hugs xx
Flower fingers crossed for the call!
minnie hugs to you too. The continuous bleeding is a complete piss take. (Well that's how I felt after mc1 - I think I almost laughed out loud at points at how cruel it seemed). I found telling myself it will end and not putting an expectation on it helped (slightly!). Have you contacted Coventry yet? Hopefully they will perform the scratch again which will help. I agree with pushing for heparin next time too. There is no evidence it causes harm so why not try it is my opinion. Oooh yes I say definitely invoke the law of sod by spending money!! I think a few of us booked holidays at similar points and indeed invoked the law of sod. Treat yourself to some nice things! Not sure about the baby things. Maybe get rid of a few and see how that feels... X
Allmychildrenhavepaws ·
05/09/2015 14:34
bumble yes, waiting to have them done right now actually...will let you all know results later when they phone!
The bleeding has stopped, but now I'm bleeding from my bottom still have bad diarrhea every morning, is this normal and safe?? Xx
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