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How do you cope with recurrent miscarriage?

(11 Posts)
Fdangel Thu 13-Aug-15 07:42:27

Hi, i have recently gone through my third consecutive miscarriage and im really struggling to cope. i find myself withdrawing from alot of activities (eg. Baby showers and some social gatherings) i feel that most if the time i go to these events im just reminded of something i cant have, and feel like i have no family or friends that can relate to what im going through. Just wondering if anyone is in the same boat or has been through something simillar

Marymaymay Thu 13-Aug-15 08:05:49

Can completely relate. I felt like I wanted to lock myself away each time until I was pregnant again. Very normal reaction. I'm jut coming out of it after the 2nd one and am starting IVF in Oct which has bike me up again. It's like being on a rollercoaster. I find meditation really helps, living in the moment, not projecting too much into the future.

Are you having investigations done as it's your third? Remember that the majority of women who have 3 mc will go on to have a successful pregnancy.

Marymaymay Thu 13-Aug-15 08:06:16

Bucked not bike!

Fdangel Thu 13-Aug-15 08:48:46

Hi marymaymay,
Sorry for your loss. I have been made an appointment For an investigation in a few months but i dont feel like im ready to get on that emotional rollercoster yet and just get really nervous when i do think about it

Brummiegirl15 Thu 13-Aug-15 11:06:07

Hi Fdangel. I'm a recurrent mcer - I've had 3 in a row and had pretty much every test under the sun. All totally clear. There is "medically" nothing wrong with me and this is the case for easily 50% of women with rmc.

Why don't you come and join us on the recurrent miscarriage thread treatment and trying again? Lots of us have gone through rmc and tried all different treatments.

I've been given clexane injections and progesterone pessaries plus I had extensive acupuncture and I'm now 16 wks pregnant so please don't give up.

DitsyButCuddlyMummy Fri 14-Aug-15 04:32:23

Hi fdangel - I am so sorry that this has happened to you again. I really understand I am currently pregnant but have bleeding and have had 2 prior mcs. I am unable to feel motivated to do anything, if this one doesn't last I think it will be the end of the road as we have had all the tests done the progesterone and aspirin and nothing seems to help. It's torture. Talking helps it's one of those times in life when your heart is genuinely broken but from pain comes strength, eventually...

Fdangel Fri 14-Aug-15 05:21:33

Hi DitsyButCuddlyMummy,
first of all congratulations on the pregnancy! how far along are you?
I know exactly how you are feeling.. I have been where u are a little over a month ago. I hope that this pregnancy will be full term for you.

I have also been thorough a lot of scans, blood tests, tube tests basically u name it I have done it! and the doctors were not able to find any problems so im done with all that for now..

Im soo glad I found this forum its been really nice to be able to talk to people that can relate to what Im going through. it has been hard since my last miscarriage but like you said " from pain comes strength, eventually..."

DitsyButCuddlyMummy Fri 14-Aug-15 08:28:01

I'm 11 weeks today having a scan tomorrow to check on everything. Good that you've had the tests done as least you haven't got that wait on top of everything else. It is such a scary decision to contemplate not trying again but sometimes it's self preservation. I have noticed a lot of people trying to talk people out of stopping on mumsnet and there is such a good chance that you'll be ok next time but equally deciding to stop is ok and very brave xx

Fdangel Fri 14-Aug-15 09:04:18

Wow 11 weeks thats great , hopefully bubz will be okay.
Well i just feel like for my own sanity i need to take time out from all the testing and hormones and just focus on myself for now. I feel like its so stressfull and draining going through all that stuff. Maybe later on down the track i might consider trying again and see a specialist.

Jen2104 Wed 19-Aug-15 13:36:40

Hi Fdangel I've just come out of my 2nd consecutive mc and although I found dealing with this second one easier than the first, it has been really tough.

For me, each time, its been not just the loss of the child, but the loss of the future I had started planning for myself (husband etc): things like realising I would happing give up my job - a job I have lived for for the last 10 years! And when everything ended, I just couldn't find the motivation to get stuck back in at work - really what is the point?

But then I realised it was taking real commitment to remain so miserable and depressed, so after a really meltdown with my hubby and then with my mum, I made the decision to get on with life. But then to suffer a second mc just put me right back to square one again.

Right now, I can't decide whether to just get on with trying again straight away or get to the docs and get some tests done and see if there is anything should be worried about. When you had all these tests done, where did you start - it is with your local GP or family planning or gyno - I am floundering a little on this. Any advice would be appreciated!

UrethraFranklin1 Wed 19-Aug-15 13:43:59

I think by the 4th one I really didn't care very much anymore. That probably makes me sound very cold, but by that time I didn't actually expect it to stick, and so when it didn't it seemed normal and expected. I sort of felt like I was over the whole experience and decided never to do it again anyway.

I found it far more stressful when the one after (unplanned and unexpected) actually did keep going.

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