Positive thoughts for negative days...

[littlegizmo]

Hi,

I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago. It hit me like a brick. Since my scan to confirm 'all is gone' I have had a run of better days. BUT today I did something I haven't done since losing the baby. I went to the gym, a pretty simple thing to do but it was full of reminders that I am no longer pregnant. Machines I couldn't use, moves I couldn't do - I can do them all now, so I did, lots, with anger & now I feel like my heart is breaking all over again.
That's a bit of a ramble but has anyone else felt like this. How did you cope when you thought you were feeling better and suddenly you feel worse?? X

[KittyandTeal]

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I found that exercise was a great way to get the anger out. I now generally do a really long run on the anniversary of dd2s birth because it's the only way, initially, I could deal with the anger. Now, 6 months on, it's a bit of a habit.

[Scottysmum2008]

Hi, I am sorry to hear of your sad news and totally get where you're coming from with your feelings.
I found after my miscarriage the same experience that I would have good days and then bit hit square on with a reminder of what I had lost and the wave of emotion that brought with it.
To be honest, I could only describe it as a roller coaster that involved the good days becoming more frequent with the bad days happening less frequently, but when they did I did my best to work through what was happening in my heart and my head.
I'd never experienced a loss before of any kind so had no experience to fall back on, on how to deal with the grief, sadness, loss and anger.
I can say it will get better, not by forgetting but by managing the feelings associated with what has happened to you. It took a while but finding others to talk to helped, and I found the most understanding people in the most unlikely of places of my life. It helped to find out that mc is quite common though not talked about, and I no longer felt quite so alone.
Do you have an ear to bend in the form of a friend or partner. Personally I didn't need advice on how to 'get over it' I just needed to be listened to, to know what was happening to me was ok and would ease.
The best piece of information I was given was not to underestimate what has happened.
You will be ok even though at times you will question that, and everything else. There is no timescale on how long it takes to work through something like this. The grief process is challenging but I found trying to go with it rather than fight it helped.
... and rambling is good and necessary sometimes