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First miscarriage - feel like I've been hit by a bus!

(6 Posts)
littlegizmo Wed 15-Jul-15 21:14:05

I never thought this would happen to me (I've been lucky to have 2 healthy pregnancies), I'm now miscarrying at 7 weeks and struggling to cope.
One of the hardest things is how long it is taking, I've been bleeding for 5 days now. Every time move or go to the toilet it's a reminder that's baby is basically falling out of me. When will it stop, what is going to happen at my next scan?
I was only 7 weeks - baby stopped growing at 5-6 weeks. I've cried lots, had the initial wave of comfort and now I feel as it the world thinks I should be getting on with it. It could be worse I know but that doesn't make this better
Please help sad

Psycobabble Wed 15-Jul-15 21:17:37

Aww sweetheart I was the same I had an early mc in January

I felt like ds1 came along easily enough so why had this suddenly happened now .

You will start feelin better soon I promise remember at the moment your having a massive drop in hormones which also adds to the upset !!
It's so so common and I think the more we open up about our own experiences it will help others not feel so alone

flowers for you. Look after yourself

Cirsium Wed 15-Jul-15 21:29:46

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is a horrible thing to go through, physically and emotionally. Try to find some sympathetic friends who understand your feelings about it, will not just spout platitudes and will let you talk/cry/whatever you need to do. There is no right timescale for the grieving process you are going through.

I had a MMC in 2013, it took four days to actually miscarry (without intervention) after finding out the baby had died at around 6-7weeks at the 12 week scan. I was glad in the end that I had just let things happen naturally, horrible as that was, as it started to restore my confidence in my body's ability to do what it was meant to. And really sorry if this is TMI, but I am very glad I was able to see my baby's tiny body and bury him or her. It helped me feel I had said goodbye properly.

littlegizmo Wed 15-Jul-15 21:34:29

Cirsium - thanks for your honesty.

I hope you don't mind me asking but at what point in your 4 days did you see your baby? I think it would help me immensely but I am so petrified of looking and at the same time not looking and just flushing little one away.
I never realised it could take this long
I have another scan next week - what should I expect at this? I wasn't at all prepared for the first one and the matter of fact attitude of the staff added to my distress. Feel like I need to prepare for next week

MAsMum Wed 15-Jul-15 21:49:52

Sending you big hugs ! I had 4 m/cs between DS and DD. The first is horrible because it comes out of the blue and after having a healthy pregnancy it is hard to rationalise.

It takes a while to get over. Most people around don't really know what to say and generally say well meaning things such as at least you've got a child or at least it was early or alternatively it wasn't healthy so it was your body's way of getting rid of it. All of which hurt because in your mind you were pg and you think why me?

Experience has taught me to focus on the positives ( although they may seem few). Firstly the worst bit is over the initial shock of being told. As the bleeding continues just think that you are a day closer to being able to try again( DD was conceived the month after my last m/c). Take as much time as you need, you will never forget your m/c but you will be able to live with it. Find a project that you can focus/take control of. After a couple of m/cs I was determined that the m/cs would not take over my life so although it sounds weird, I actually went out and bought maternity clothes whilst miscarrying because I thought that I might be afraid to buy clothes early in my next pregnancy in case I jinxed it and it reassured me that I was going to get PG again and gave me back a sense of control!!

Cirsium Wed 15-Jul-15 22:01:11

Don't mind you asking at all but will PM you as don't want to upset anyone with details. flowers

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