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Miscarriage number 2

(8 Posts)
Poppies559 Tue 14-Jul-15 08:27:58

Hello, I'm new to the forum and looking for some support. I've just had a second miscarriage, exactly a year from my first. It was the most traumatic experience and so painful. Does anyone have any success stories for baby number 3? I feel so low and feel there's something wrong with me sad

Teakind Tue 14-Jul-15 20:39:11

Hi poppie, so sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I've also just had my second one and am hoping, like you, that it's third time lucky. I'm afraid i can't offer you a success story but i do know how you feel. The universe seems so unfair sometimes.

x

Poppies559 Tue 14-Jul-15 20:42:50

Oh no I'm so sorry to hear about yours too. I really hope it will be ok next time for both of us. I haven't cried about this one yet, but just don't think it's sunk in properly at all.

Teakind Tue 14-Jul-15 20:55:45

I know what you mean. It's a shock isn't it as you hope that it can't go wrong twice in a row.

Are you taking some time off work to get your head around it? Do many people know? I think it's so strange to have to carry on as normal and people having no idea what you are going through.

browneyesblue Tue 14-Jul-15 21:26:08

Hi Poppies and Teakind

I'm so sorry for your losses. I wish I had the words to lift you a little.

My story is probably not quite the same as yours, but maybe it will help a bit.

It took me a bit longer than expected to conceive DS1. By the time I got pregnant, I had already been referred and was being seen at a fertility clinic (no problems found in the initial tests). It was a slightly difficult pregnancy, with some bleeding, but DS1 was born healthy.

When DH and I decided to try for DC2, we expected to struggle again, but I was pregnant within the year. Sadly, I had a (painful) miscarriage. I was determined to try again as soon as possible, partly to try and 'move past' what I was feeling, and partly out of desperation for a baby. A few months later, I found out I was pregnant again.

I started spotting at about 6 weeks, and was convinced I was miscarrying again. A scan showed that everything was fine. The bleeding continued, a second scan at 8 weeks showed everything was fine.

I talked to the midwife at my booking in appointment about the bleeding, and she suggested going to the walk-in EPAU for another scan. No heartbeat was found at 9 weeks.

The world felt cold and dark and unfair, and I didn't know how to cope other than to focus on trying again, which terrified me. I was both lucky/unlucky though in what happened next. My hcg levels took almost 3 months to drop, which I found a nightmare at the time. I was obsessed with being able to try again, so being forced to wait was probably healthier for me mentally (I can only see this in indsight though - it's not how I felt at the time).

It took me quite a while to get pregnant again, and as my periods didn't go back to normal after the second miscarriage, I was convinced that it would never happen. Convinced that DS1 was a very lucky fluke, and that my body just didn't work like it should. But I did get pregnant again.

I won't lie - I found that pregnancy hard. It was easy to tell myself that the first miscarriage was 'one of those things', after all, lots of women miscarry. I don't think I really believed it would happen a second time, so it flattened me when it did. So, I did keep expecting it to happen a third time. I never relaxed. I had bleeding until 18 weeks, along with some other complications (none related to miscarriages though). An A&E doctor even told me that I had miscarried at 16 weeks, after I had been admitted with very heavy bleeding and was passing large clots.

I didn't miscarry though, and after those 2 awful miscarriages, DS2 was born, healthy, full-term and heavy, just like his brother. He will be 2 tomorrow.

I hope I haven't said anything to add to your pain, because I can remember how frightening the aftermath of a miscarriage is. I just wanted to let you know my 'success' story.

I also know how much strength and bravery you have to find to try again, and what a leap into the unknown it is. Until it happened to me, I had no concept of what it took for someone to 'try again' after a miscarriage, and for those pregnant-again women to keep going day after day, never quite relaxing. Those women, you, have enormous strength. x

Teakind Wed 15-Jul-15 23:07:57

Hi browneyeblue,

Thanks for sharing your story and the thoughtful message. It's sounds like you had a heck of a journey and it's great to know that you had a happy ending.

It's interesting what you say about not being able to relax in your next pregnancy. It seems like miscarriage takes away the innocent joy you feel with your first pregnancy. X

inamaymaybewrong Sun 19-Jul-15 14:35:27

I miscarried in Nov last year and June this year. I've joined the recurrent miscarriage thread on here which is very helpful. GP also agreed to refer me to recurrent miscarriage clinic at hospital as I'm nearly 38 and have fertility issues too.

inamaymaybewrong Sun 19-Jul-15 14:35:47

So sorry for your losses btw. x

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