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The sad phone call from epu counsellers

(4 Posts)
frankiebuns Tue 30-Jun-15 13:41:18

Today we had the sad phone call from epu counsellers redgarding charlies remains. It has been 2 months since that awful day and we had been getting back on an even keal and remembering what my smile was. And he is ready for collection he went for autopsy and apart from enchepilly he had left heart syndrome and his legs were not formed properly. But we dont know what to do with his ashes i wanted to go up to the local monument where my grandparents ashes are or do we scatter them in the garden of our house. Totally back to square one today on emotions confused

ajandjjmum Tue 30-Jun-15 13:44:16

So sorry.

Would you want Charlie's remains to be somewhere you could always go - which if you sold your house in the future, might be difficult?

KittyandTeal Tue 30-Jun-15 13:47:46

I'm so sorry for the loss of Charlie.

I know having ashes to scatter brings up so many emotions and questions. We decided to scatter our dd2s ashes in the children and baby garden at our local crematorium. One of the ladies who works there cam with us and we had a little service and chose a spot to scatter them (we actually buried them under a tree)

It's nice to be able to go up there and visit. We've let a few bits to mark her 'spot' too.

In the end we decided not to bring them home and put them in the garden, purely on the practical note of know if, for any reason, we had to move there was no way I could leave her knowing I'd never be able to visit again.

I have a friend who has her sons ashes 3 years after they lost him, she still can't decide what to do with them so she just keeps them at home now.

I know there are some companies that make bears that you can put the container with ashes in. You can have jewellery made from ashes, it is beautiful and I was tempted but I know my family wants a place to visit. I also know of a few people who have had tattoos to remember their babies and has the tattooist to mix a bit of the ashes in with the ink. I wish I'd done this tbh but I heard the idea after I'd had my tattoo done.

frankiebuns Tue 30-Jun-15 15:55:57

Thankyou i think charlie might stay at home for a while he was concieved there and kinda only place i associate him with. We have planted a white cherry tree in our garden. Total emotional wreck today trying to hold it together for the 2 other kids. Might eve.n hold on till his due date in november. Birthday party organising for ny youngest to occupy myself

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