What happens physically with the different options of "ending" a missed miscarriage?

[theaftermath]

MMC just discovered at private scan at 11wks :(

I have to go to hospital tomorrow to have another scan and (I guess) make decisions about what happens next.

I don't think I want to wait for things to happen naturally. I am lucky to be a mum to a 5 yr old and I work and would rather "know" as much as I can about what will happen and when.

So my question is... With the 2 remaining options (surgery vs tablet/pessary) what will I experience physically? I am very scared that the bleeding will be traumatic and that I will pass and see the baby. But equally I don't fancy being put to sleep for an op and having the aftermath of a general.

Can anybody help me with a bit of a summary of either option?

Sorry if this seems cold and factual. If I get into the emotions I will just waffle....

[thedevilsavocado]

Hello and sorry this is happening to you. Unfortunately I have experience of both options. I had medical management after a mmc at 10 weeks. It was like a heavy period. I was in hospital. At one point I felt something bigger pass and think this was the sac. I chose not to look as all was in those cardboard bedpans they give you. I just covered it and left for the nurse. I have also had an erpc and had lighter bleeding after . I felt really tired after both, probably the emotional impact as much as anything. I was in hospital for two nights with medical management and one with erpc.
It was some years ago now but I have not forgotten how hard it is. I did go on to have a healthy, lovely baby.
Take care x

[gingerbreadmam]

hi. so sorry for your loss!

i went through an mmc in november last year. i was advised to try the natural route. the mmc was discovered at 9wks but i had to gave a rescan 2wks later to confirm it. i then waited another 2wks to mc. it never happened. i spoke to the hospital who suggested the next best thing to try was medical. i was given this to do at home.

this was good in a way as i could plan when i was going to do it and make sure i was home and comfortable. i got lots of pain but this was more annoying than anything else. painful but bareable. i did end up taking the stronger painkillers prescribed and they definitely took the edge off. i bled a little and passed some clots but it didnt feel like the real thing. unfortunately my description to the hospital made them think it had worked. but it hadnt.

i wont go into many details as i know what happened to me isnt common but after a couple of trips to hospital i was given an erpc which compared to the waiting and the failed medical management was a walk in the park. i felt relieved. the scariest part was going for the anaesthetic but everything after that was fine. i didnt have any pain and hardly bled at all. i was shattered from the anaesthetic for a few days after tho, u just kind of feel worn out.

fwiw if u do medical management i would ensure it is done in hospital so you know for certain it has worked. if u did opt for erpc it really isnt worth worrying about and i say this as someone diagnoses with white coat syndrome during my mmc!

i hope you can come to a decision at this difficult time and you have lots of support in real life

[MsJuniper]

I've had both. Both mc were at 9 weeks but the second one had stopped growing earlier I think. The general anaesthetic did give me headaches for a week or so after but it was so much easier than the natural one which was basically like going through labour with several hours of contractions followed by passing the sac and everything else. With both I had bleeding for about a month after. I would have the surgery again, if I have to.

[babyangelbean20315]

Sorry for your loss
I had a mmc discovered 2 n a half weeks after baby stopped growing, I went for going to sleep n not having to deal with things I cant cope with
I was in hospital about 9ish n out by like 4ish, for me I couldn't deal with having to see my baby so that's why I opted for surgery, I still bled for over a week after but I think it would of been 100x worse for me not to do it this way

I'm sorry you have to make this decision, noone should have too

[flora717]

As awful as it sounds to experience it all I would recomend not having the general. You get knocked about by the anaesthetic; the chance of a UTI is very high and they're not 100% effective.
(I had bleeding almost as bad as mc 1 which had me hospitalised for blood loss following mc2 which was the operative approach). Physically it took me longer to get over the theatre experience.

[nousernameinspiration]

i had the miscarriage at home. I am glad I opted for that choice.
Back to hospital tomorrow to check everything has "passed"

[Artesia]

I also had miscarriage at home- baby stopped growing at 8 weeks but not discovered until 12 weeks. It wasn't nice at all, but not as bad as feared, and was really pleased it happened at home. My worst fear was seeing "the baby" but it wasn't like that at all. I knew when I'd passed the sac, but there was nothing identifiable about it, if that makes sense. It meant we could bury it in the garden, and we have put a beautiful rose bush there which blooms at the same time the baby was due.

A good friend had the surgery and said for her it made it hard for her to come to terms with what had happened as she didn't physically experience it. I understood that- although it was awful, going through the mc was, I'm a strange way, cathartic and made me feel as though there was closure.

Am so sorry you are going through this, and hope you have lots or rl support? My parents came and took care of my DSs so that I could just deal with what was happening, which was an enormous help.

[TinyMonkey]

Sorry for your loss. I had an ERPC, but chose to have it carried out under local anaesthetic. I don't think all hospitals offer that option. I wanted to be awake and 'bear witness' to the end of my pregnancy. Dp was with me throughout, the consultant and nurse were extremely kind and explained things as they were happening. It was a little painful, similar discomfort to having a coil inserted.

I had about two weeks of bleeding, very light initially, then a bit heavier (I managed to go and camp at a festival for three nights just a week after the procedure).

[Tigerstar123]

Sorry for your loss hon.
I too had a mmc. Was picked up at 12 weeks after light bleeding. Baby had gone at 8 weeks.
It was a Friday and I was then sent home, in shock, to consider what route to pick- natural, tabs or erpc.
However, 2 days later I suffered a massive haemorrhage and was rushed into hospital. When they scanned me, I hadn't even passed all the baby so needed an erpc. Erpc was, in my opinion, fine.
Would always go for this route if I ever mc again as the haemorrhage was one of the most frightening times of my life.
Of course, my experience is a worst case scenario, but that's why I'd always opt for erpc.
Good luck on whatever option you choose. It's a rubbish time xxx