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time off work after miscarriage?

(19 Posts)
inamaymaybewrong Sun 14-Jun-15 19:55:47

I just had my second miscarriage, at 9 weeks after conceiving naturally, unbelievably. We're devastated. We lost an IVF (frozen cycle) pregnancy at 6+ weeks last November. That time, we'd already had a week away planned, just a few hours away in the UK so went. The change of scenery did us good and because of the timing work didn't need to know what had happened. But this time, we're both due at work this week but neither of us can face it. We both have an especially busy week too, which makes it harder.
Did you take time off after miscarrying? How was your employer about it? Did you self-certify or get signed off by your GP? Thanks

younggifted Sun 14-Jun-15 19:59:20

I took two days but a friend has had a week signed off.

Sorry for your loss op x

babyangelbean20315 Sun 14-Jun-15 19:59:23

Ask for a sick note and tell them how long you feel u need they will give you one x

NotSpartacus Sun 14-Jun-15 20:00:27

I had a week off this time. ERPC Monday night, thought I might be fit to go in by Wednesday but really wasn't. So I stayed off until the following week.
The hospital gave me a sick note but in classic NHS cock up style it was for a man (had his name on it). I tried to see my GP but no appointments for two weeks. So I just stayed off, and work never asked about it.

But you must take as long as you need. Although I felt ok to go back after a week, since then I have been a bit up and down, and have had some days working from home etc so I don't feel as under the cosh. Something about this most recent Mc made me very anxious, and that, in a stressful job, is not at all helpful.

andadietcoke Sun 14-Jun-15 20:02:01

I didn't. I took time off for appointments but I'd come back from a week away (I miscarried in Tunisia) so didn't want to take more time off plus I didn't want anyone to know at work.

younggifted Sun 14-Jun-15 20:02:11

Oh. Sorry, I self certified. Friend was signed off. I found out at my 12 week scan. I told my boss but didn't log it 'officially'. I think if it happened again I'd tell the truth to my current boss. If it was someone I trusted less I think I'd say it was some gynae issue and be vague about it.

Only1scoop Sun 14-Jun-15 20:04:47

My last one was a MMC at 9 weeks also and I went down the surgical route. I took around 2 months off.

I was signed off with Drs note.

gingerbreadmam Sun 14-Jun-15 20:10:16

if you feel like you need time off, take it. the go will sign you off no questions asked.

i had a very complicated mmc and was off probably 5 weeks in total. didnt have any problems getting covered by notes from gp.

gingerbreadmam Sun 14-Jun-15 20:10:55

didnt even think to say hope u r ok and so sorry for what you have been through. hope you and dp are managing to support each other in whatever way you can thanks

AliMonkey Sun 14-Jun-15 20:10:56

I started bleeding a little on a Thursday night, went into work on Friday having made emergency GP appointment, left mid-morning to see GP who sent me to A&E, they confirmed MMC and I went back to work for the afternoon as wasn't bleeding much and thought that sitting at home would be worse than keeping busy. Ended up back in A&E on the Sunday, had D&C on the Monday, went home Tuesday, went back to work Wednesday. Self-certified with real reason to HR, told anyone else who asked it was "a minor op". But you must do what feels right to you - but I would advise putting the real reason on any written documentation at work even if you don't tell anyone else.

LionsDontWeaveLentils Sun 14-Jun-15 20:17:53

I didn't, but I wish I had. Looking back it was a really bad decision to try and carry on as if I was fine. I would tell anyone going through something like that to take some time to process what has happened, to deal with some of the emotional hurt as well as the physical.

Surf25 Sun 14-Jun-15 20:25:40

Am very sorry for your loss, op.

Take the time off work you need. You can self certify for up to seven working days. Your employer may have a form they want you to fill out to cover that period. Your GP will sign you off after that for longer if you need it. Take the time you need. Those I know who haven't, have regretted not taking the time off and going straight back into things at work. Those I know who have taken time off have not regretted it and have felt more able to return to work after a spell off.

Best wishes

VenusVanDamme Sun 14-Jun-15 20:35:16

For 3 of my mc I had 1 day off when I found out, went back in and then took 1 day off for the ERPC. For the 4th it was a chemical so no time off. It always occurred when I had a lot on. With hindsight it was stupid, at the end of the day didn't get any thanks for getting my arse back to work to sort client stuff so should just have had a bit of time. I think you can get a line for time off easily enough so take what you need.

Mmmbacon Sun 14-Jun-15 20:47:21

Take as much time as you need, my sis had over a month Off, Im pretty sure hr and line manager knew real reason but manager suggested saying that she had hurt her back and would be back when her back was better,

Hope you are ok

MsDragons Sun 14-Jun-15 20:56:12

I had 2 weeks after my mc. I should probably have taken longer actually, I wasn't anywhere near right for quite a long time. I told work the truth, because my department had all guessed I was pg anyway, so mine was put down as compassionate leave I think, I didn't have to fill in any self-certification forms or get a sick note, I just emailed my manager and said I wasn't coming in and why. Nobody complained, everybody was incredibly supportive and lovely, even when I cried at them fairly regularly.

If you need time to grieve then take time to grieve. It won't do anybody any good to have you back at work when you're so devastated. I'm so sorry for your loss. flowers

ToesAndFingersCrossed Mon 15-Jun-15 14:09:03

I had a long weekend booked off work for a holiday Wednesday - Friday. We found out there was no heartbeat the Friday before (the scan was at about 2pm so I went straight from work and was going to come right back), so I called work and said I would't be coming back in. Then I took Monday and Tuesday off sick (self certified) and so ended up with just over week off including my planned holiday. Nothing actually happened that week, but it was nice to just have some time off, not have to hold it together in front of people and come to terms with the loss.

I then went back to work because nothing had happened, and explained that I might need to leave at short notice. Worked for just over a week and started bleeding lightly on the Wednesday so called DH to pick me up immediately. Miscarried in the night. Took Thursday and Friday off. Was given a doctor's note by the clinic, but work didn't actually ask for it. In the next couple of weeks I took the odd few days off because I had been crying the whole night, and work were also very understanding about that.

Tryingno1 Mon 15-Jun-15 16:46:43

Take off as much time as u need. I massively regret going back early and pretending it was all ok. I've had 3 miscarriahes. One I went to work whilst it was going on. The second took a week off as I admitted numerous times and the third was the same (both failed medical management ending the week with and and c). I should have taken 2 weeks at least looking back off but once I felt ok physically I went back. But I wasn't ok emotionally.
I'm so sorry for u loss xx

limon Wed 17-Jun-15 13:57:29

I took hospital appointment time off for my first, eight weeks off for my second one and one day off for my third.

slightlyconfused85 Thu 18-Jun-15 22:06:01

So sorry for your loss. I took a week, was signed off by the GP who did not hesitate to do so from both an emotional and physical point of view

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