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Upset by a cup of tea

(9 Posts)
Tftpoo Wed 10-Jun-15 14:07:21

Hello. I had a missed miscarriage discovered at 12 weeks (baby died at 9 weeks). That was last week and I had a erpc on Monday. So I know it's early days but how do you stop getting upset at every tiny thing, even things which aren't baby or pregnancy related? In my head everything is related to this lost pregnancy. I can't drink tea or coffee at the moment because I was drinking decaf to reduce the chance of mc and every time someone offers me a cup it makes me think of it and I cry. If I see custard creams it makes me think of all the custard creams I let myself eat because I was pregnant Similar cheese. I craved cheese and ate my way through a ridiculous number of babybels before last week - what's more, I was troughing them for the last few weeks even after the baby died, I still felt pregnant. Even sheep because we went to a farm when I was pregnant for lambing but I couldn't touch the sheep.

DayLillie Wed 10-Jun-15 14:15:46

I went through a phase of loving Chinese food with my first pregnancy, which miscarried. Of course, I did not bother with it afterwards, as it was not that easily available. I did not go near it when I was pregnant again.

It is funny, because I have never really liked it since hmm. You have made me think.

It takes a while to get over the hormones/shock etc. flowers

goestoshowyouthough Wed 10-Jun-15 14:20:38

I'm so so sorry for your loss. This happened to me too, and it was the most difficult thing I've ever been through. All I can say is that time made it easier to bear. I am still so sad when I think about it, but time has made it easier to cope. It isn't so raw and overwhelming now. Take good care of yourself, and allow yourself to grieve xx

strawberrycrumble Wed 10-Jun-15 14:45:13

Im so sorry for your loss, I cant give you any answers as im at the same stage you are but just wanted you to know your not on your own. I had really bad sickness so had special things in that for some reason I could tolerate, digestives, coco pops, salt and vinegar crisps amongst other things and every time I see these things in the kitchen it hits me all over again. I cried the other morning because I didn't need to take my pregnancy vitamins and folic acid.
Its just all so hard and hoping it will ease over time because right now, im an emotional wreck.
Hope it starts to get easier for us soon, Im sure it will xx

Bejeena Wed 10-Jun-15 20:52:44

You are not alone. It has been 3 weeks since I had the erpc and although I do have good days I do also have quite a lot of days that make me sad for little reason. It will get better as time goes on. We should all support each other. I hope your husband is understanding about it all, sometimes mine just doesn't get it which then makes me more upset because I think he doesn't care

Wolfiefan Wed 10-Jun-15 20:59:24

You are grieving. This is totally how I felt. I would be talking to someone or doing something and then it would hit me all over again. Awful.
I just had to keep breathing and wait for it to pass. Be gentle to yourself. You are allowed to cry, wail or just sit staring at the walls. You are.
BTW my ERPC was over 10 years ago. I will never forget but I'm now fortunate enough to have two children.
Wishing you well. Xx

stoatystoat Wed 10-Jun-15 22:22:51

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also have objects that make me upset - the sports bra I bought to contain my tender bosoms, ginger biscuits. I'm ttc still and feel like my folic acid is mocking me.

Much love

Tftpoo Thu 11-Jun-15 09:08:09

Thanks everyone. I know it's normal and it is really useful to hear that I'm not alone. I'm generally quite an impatient person and I like to know what's going to happen so I hate not knowing how long I'm going to feel like this for! I also desperately want to start ttc although I am scared that will take a long time too and will add to the pain. But I need to be doing something about this if you know what I mean, and ttc seems like the thing to do. I know if I was giving advice to someone else I'd say this maybe wasn't a good idea but it's so much harder to be rational when it's you.

goestoshowyouthough Thu 11-Jun-15 12:59:13

I decided to ttc straight away too and I really felt like having that focus helped me. I was lucky and it happened in my second cycle after the erpc. I was absolutely terrified throughout that pregnancy, but everything went well. I look at my dd now and think that she was just meant to be. Or sometimes I like to think that she came back to me. I know that everyone is different though. Just sharing my experience. I think you just have to do what ever you have to to get through if you know what I mean. There is no right or wrong way to deal with this. Wishing you all the best

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