Trying Again

[nehagarg]

Hey Everyone ...

I have finally received my ERPC results and learnt that my pregnancy was not molar and we have been given the all clear by my EPU. (Phew!)

I was wondering ... did any of you wait until your next period to start trying again? I know docs say to wait but I get the impression that that is more to make it easier for them to date the next pregnancy than anything else.

The only thing that can help me forget the last month is to start trying again so even a 4 week wait (for period to start and then to ovulate) seems like agony! ..

Thanks a lot for all the advice. I love this forum for all the emotional support it has given me while I have been going through this but I do hate that it has to exist at all. No one should have to go through this.

[Icimoi]

Yes, I in fact waited three months. It seemed like an eternity at the time but I wanted to give the next pregnancy the best possible chance. And it worked!

[Ahhhcantthinkofagoodname]

Hey nehagarg that's good news! I have finally been discharged too after getting my first negative pregnancy test yest!

The doc told me to wait at least one period to enable to next pregnancy to be dated more easily, she said I wouldn't want the stress of not knowing when to test and then having queries in the early weeks about whether the baby is developing as it should. I asked if physically there was any reason not to try and she said no. I have done some research online and not come across any studies that show there is increased risk of miscarriage if you conceive again promptly but there are studies that show that you are actually more fertile in the few months post miscarriage. There's also plenty of people on this board that seem to have conceived immediately after miscarriage and either have healthy babies or are a good way along in their pregnancies.

I too am desperate to try again too and to be honest because of my long and irregular cycles dating is always an issue for me anyway.

Apparently sometimes you don't ovulate in the first cycle anyway and if that's the case then fine but I would like to give any egg I do release in my first cycle the chance of being fertilised.

[nehagarg]

Thanks ladies. Been discussing this with DH and he says to wait for at least one cycle to give body time to heal, if nothing else. I do see sense in that but I soooo badly want to try again right away. That said, I do think I have already ovulated but who knows, I may be wrong. :)

Congrats Icimoi .. so happy that you finally got through the nightmare of a mc, though I dont know if it ever really leaves you.

We are yet to make the decision on whether to tttc right away but its always good to know what other people have done .. :) ... Bestest of luck to both of us cantthinkofagoodname .. Here is hoping that the next one sticks.

[Brummiegirl15]

Hi op.

My advice would be to please please wait. I've sadly suffered 3 x miscarriages in the last 12 months.

It's been a really distressing time, for me and and other ladies on the recurrent miscarriage board.

When you get pregnant before your first period, it's impossible to date easily because you have no real starting point and your cycle is all over the place. So you could go for a scan and it be inconclusive because you don't really know how far along you are. I am seeing the distress of a couple of ladies who have had to go for early scan and there's not much to be seen and they've no idea if it's just too early or sadly again they are losing their baby.

I have been through this 3 times and I truly understand that desperate need to be pregnant again. I'm now TTC for the 4th attempt after a forced 4 month wait due to testing and I finally feel like my ducks are in a row and I'm ready.

You only have to wait 4 weeks, trust me for the peace of mind it gives you, it really is nothing.

That said, should you fall pregnant before your first period, you will do no harm to yourself and you aren't more likely to miscarry for example.

It's shit and it's really hard and all you want to be is pregnant again. I really do understand. Good luck

[squizita]

As Brummie says it is very useful to wait from a medical point of view. As well as ovulation you need time to recover from the bleed/op.
I had a (rare) complication which resulted in my hcg going up again after an ERPC. Had I not waited the (quite serious) treatment would have been delayed as everyone would have thought I was pregnant - it could have resulted in low dose chemo and a delay in ttc of a year. As it was, I knew there was an issue and it was sorted immediately. My case was rare but there is a reason they say wait 1 cycle.

[nehagarg]

Thanks Brummie and Squizita ... I completely agree with you both and that's what DH has been saying too. So looks like, after all the awesome advice, we wait. Got a holiday coming up to Croatia in 2 weeks that we had booked as one last holiday before the baby comes. DH loves being positive and has been trying to convince me that the silver lining is that at least now I can go wreck scuba diving (which i wasnt going to go do because I was pregnant) ... :)

Sorry to hear about the issues you have both had. Bestest of luck for the next time. In a perfect world, MCs just wouldnt exist ... I am an emotional mess after 1 ... cant even begin to imagine how awful it must be to have to go through multiple ones Brummie :(

Squizita ... Feel free to tell me to mind my own business but was it a molar pregnancy you were diagnosed with? They thought I had a partial molar too but my histology results have come back yesterday and are negative. But in any case, I'll take your advice. I think I have already ovulated so AF cant be too far but I can keep taking preg tests and if they are all negative for the next few weeks, it will give me some peace of mind. (Still cannot et the molar thing off my mind)

[squizita]

Yep partial molar. Some left in by the ERPC which grew a bit but thank goodness they medically managed a bleed which cleaned me all out. After 6 months I ttc (having in the meantime had miscarriage tests - have APS and been prescribed heparin and aspirin) and was pregnant in a month. She is sitting here now right as rain, 7 months old already. Chin up, if it can go ok for me and my mad womb it can for you.

[nehagarg]

Oh wow .. congratulations Squizita .. So happy it worked out for you after all the mess you went through. Molar pregnancies are just salt to the wound and no one should have to go through that but glad you bounced back ok :)

Thanks for all the advice. We are going to wait until after my first period which should be soon. Its already 10 days since I stopped bleeding (spotting and all) after my ERPC.

[Brummiegirl15]

My first period was bang on 28 days after both my ERPC's - slightly late for me (I have 24 day cycle ) but not ridiculous.

So honestly I'm sure you won't have long to wait. I can't believe my time for trying again is already here. I found out my 3rd mc was happening at New Year - happy fucking new year to us!!

If you'd told me I'd have to wait 4 months before trying again is have gone bat shit crazy. But what with tests, seeing my consultant plus an op with a camera to ensure everything is ok, it's absolutely flown by.

I'm terrified now of starting again as scared I'll miscarry again.

Go on holiday, have the most amazing time doing everything you want. You've got plenty of time for the stress of TTC when you get back!! x

[nehagarg]

I knooooooww!! One month ago, when I first found out that the baby had stopped growing and that a mc was imminent, time felt like it was standing absolutely still. And now looking back, I cant even believe that its already been a month and that it's over.

I cant even begin to imagine what multiple mc must be like. Everything crossed that it all goes well for you and the next one will stick!! .. I do understand what you mean though. I am apeshit scared to try again too. DH was like ... if this happens again, we are adopting because I cant deal with this a 3rd time.

All I want is to be pregnant again and for the baby to be healthy and go to term and then to grow up to become the prime minister and at the same time be rich enough that his or her parents can go buy themselves an island in the Caribbean. Is that really so much to ask?