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Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

(985 Posts)
mrsb0710 Mon 09-Mar-15 21:55:39

Original thread*total headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today*

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

Niffertiti Tue 10-Mar-15 09:59:26

Thanks for the new thread, and for all the lovely messages on the old one! In response to your question, my second scan is on Thursday, but I know it will be bad news - morning sickness stopped, boobs back to normal etc. It doesn't make the waiting any easier though. And to pile the crap on even more I'm off sick with a stinking cold!

Question: If the second scan shows no growth is it likely I'll be talked though options there and then? I'm not sure what to expect.

I've been reading through the various threads here and on the one hand I just want it over definitively, but on the other I think my local nhs trust wouldn't offer EPRC for something so early (or to quote the fecking sonographer at my first scan: "for something the size of that" THAT is the baby I'd been hoping and trying for for eight months so try and have a bit of humanity maybe?).

This is my first attempt at pregnancy so not sure whether MM or natural is best?

gingerbreadmam Tue 10-Mar-15 10:10:33

Hi niff

If there has been no change you will be told of your options. It varies from trust to trust.

I was advised by my trust to let it happen naturally as that is best, i dont honestly know how true that is. I was naieve and did as suggested. It was probably the worst decision for me. I still hadnt mc 2 weeks later and had had to wait 2 weeks for a rescan so i had known i had lost the baby and carried it knowingly after that for 4 weeks.

By the 4 week point i was getting quite traumatised by it all, contacted hospital and was given medical management to do at home. That is the next level so to speak. This failed.

In the end i ended up with an erpc. The relief of having that and knowing for definite it was all over was unbelieveable. I wish i had been offered or asked for it in the very beginning.

If it were to happen to me again i would probably opt for medical management in the hospital as they monitor u in the hospital. It is all over in a day and i suppose it is as close to natural as can be. I would like the erpc but it is an operation which requires anaesthetic and thats the only thing that would sway me a bit.

In the end the decision is yours. The medical management was painful but bareable for me the pain was more an annoyance than anything else.

mrsb0710 Tue 10-Mar-15 12:32:47

niff - I asked for erpc, and baby was about 5 weeks. They were lovely and booked me in, didn't want to sway me away from that at all. I felt as if I wouldn't have coped with it happening at home. The procedure takes about 15 mins.
Bleeding was minimal, and I took paracetamol for the pain.

gingerbreadmam Tue 10-Mar-15 13:47:27

oh yeah niff never thought. i didnt have erpc until almost 14 weeks but baby stopped developing at 5+4. think sack continued growing dont know if that makes any difference?

apart from feeling bit crappy for the first half hour - 45 mins after erpc i was completely fine. hardy bled at all and didnt need painkillers. i was shattered for days after though due to the anaesthetic i think.

brickiemum2 Tue 10-Mar-15 14:37:51

Just to make you aware of another option I had the surgical done under local anaesthetic as I didn't want to have a general. The procedure is then called manual vacuum evacuation (mva) Ask the advantages of the erpc but with lower risk (not that the risk is high anyway but I have lungs that like to go into spasm and I've never had a general before)

Niffertiti Tue 10-Mar-15 16:21:31

Thanks everyone. I've spoken to EPU and they would offer either expectant management or surgical. I think I'll go surgical. I've been spotting/bleeding for 3 bloody (literally) weeks now, I just want it done with!

gingerbreadmam Tue 10-Mar-15 17:32:42

i was like that niff wasnt blood but i was leaking something for about two weeks and then i had an absolute nightmare.

in hindsight the surgical procedure would have helped me cope a lot better.

its great they offer that. not sure what its like how brickie had it done, how much you're aware of. might be worth asking a few more questions incase you'd find that more suitable?

the thought of it makes me cringe but it might not be as bad as it sounds.

brickiemum2 Tue 10-Mar-15 18:50:28

I was told that medical only works for 7/10 women. I wasn't prepared to go through all that to end up with a ga anyway. I was lucky that we have an expert in mva locally. It was unpleasant but very quick.

gingerbreadmam Tue 10-Mar-15 18:54:19

was awful building yourself up to do the medical management knowing whats to come and then to discover it had failed (in a horrible way) was just heartbreaking. i would only do medical management now in hospital so they can confirm it was succesful.

Niffertiti Tue 10-Mar-15 18:59:45

I think I'd freak at MVA, I had a nightmare getting a coil fitted. Yep, I know I'm trying to get a baby up there and that's much bigger when it comes out again, but we'll gloss over that...

I've had loads of GAs (generally accident-prone childhood/wisdom teeth) so they don't bother me so much. Even the idea of having my womb aspirated makes me cringe! I'm pretty sure they offer ERPC where I am as the EPU sister said I wouldn't be able to drive the next day...

gingerbreadmam Tue 10-Mar-15 19:14:36

oh niff you will be absolutely fine then. going down for the anaethetic (never had an op before and it was an emergency one so only knew i was going when they came to take me down) and feeling exhausted from it for a few days after was the worst part for me.

as i say no pain and hardly any blood. did sting a bit first couple of wee's mind but sure thats nothing compared to after childbirth grin

wonkylegs Wed 11-Mar-15 09:48:55

Niff - I was going to say pretty much everything Gingerbreadmam has already said, so I won't repeat her. Look after yourself whatever happens this is tough on you.

Imscarlet Wed 11-Mar-15 12:38:30

Chubby, I had the 'products of conception' checked for chromosomal abnormalities and it came back clear. The next thing they will do is get a blood test from yourself and your partner to check to see if either of you have chromosomal abnormalities. They will also probably check for things like thyroid issues. TBH, all of these investigations are good because when they come up with your issue they can then start treating that specifically. For example, some peole have clotting issues and something as simple as taking baby asprin to thin the blood can prevent miscartiages. It would also be well worth your while to have your progesterone levels checked in the second half of your cycle.

mrsb0710 Thu 12-Mar-15 19:06:18

Just popping in to see how everyone is getting along.

flowers

CD5 here, impatiently waiting to start DTD

Niffertiti Thu 12-Mar-15 19:14:55

Well, I started bleeding last night more heavily and my scan this morning showed I had already miscarried most of what was in there. So I'm just going to hope it resolves itself naturally - I've got another scan in 10 days to check. Crampy again tonight so I must be passing more of it. Fingers crossed this will be over soon and I can get my cycles back to normal...

Hope everyone else is doing ok?

gingerbreadmam Thu 12-Mar-15 19:15:20

hey mrsb im ok thanks. having a bit of a wobble altho am not quite sure why. maybe subconsciously thinking things. tomo is the day last time i had a proper bleed. the next day was the scan where we initially got the bad news.

i cannot wait for scan letter to come thru so i have something positive to focus on.

how r u? ur almost at the fertile stage now not long! very exciting. hows the job going?

gingerbreadmam Thu 12-Mar-15 19:16:39

oh niff how are you feeling / coping? i guess its good news the majority has come away. hopefully the next few days are as kind as can be to you.

i hope u r ok thanks

fromwesttoeast Thu 12-Mar-15 20:19:58

Mc is such an awful experience, but I hope you can now feel that you are moving to the recovery stage Niff. flowers

brickiemum2 Fri 13-Mar-15 07:52:39

My first af arrived yesterday so I'm now officially on the other side I guess. CD2 today.

gingerbreadmam Fri 13-Mar-15 09:12:50

oh brickie that is good. not long until you can ttc again if that is what you want. hope ur ok with it all.

Niffertiti Fri 13-Mar-15 11:05:48

Thanks for all your support everyone, I am pleased (that's really not the word but...) that it's happening/happened now and I can see the other side. Brickie, glad your af has arrived and ginger I hope you're getting through this time ok, it must be really nerve-wracking.

gingerbreadmam Fri 13-Mar-15 11:15:30

glad to hear u r ok niff.

it is nerve wracking had a bad day yesterday panicking but feeling a bit better today. just willing the days away till scan so then i can feel reassured. hopefully get the appointment this week.

chubbymummy Sat 14-Mar-15 07:52:43

Scarlet, we've already had all the tests that have ever been invented as I've been under the miscarriage clinic for years. They can't find any cause and we're just classed as 'unexplained secondary infertility with a history of multiple miscarriages'.

Niff and Ginger I hope you are both okay, sending you hugs.

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed Sat 14-Mar-15 10:16:37

Hi all, I found out last Friday at an early private scan that the baby measured 6+5 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I should have been 8+5.

My gp referred me for another scan on Thursday where they found there was no change, however as I had my first scan done privately they couldn't accept that as my first scan! That means I have to go for yet another this Thursday!

I came to terms with the fact that my baby had gone last weekend, I just want to draw a line under it now, but can't until I have this THIRD scan and can then start discussing my options.

This is now my third miscarriage, my second was very similar. I started bleeding at 11 weeks and found that the baby never developed and there was only an empty sac. It's so cruel the way your body tricks you in to believing a little person is still growing inside! sad

I am now very nervous that my body will suddenly start realising that my baby had died as I really would prefer for it to be removed in hospital with me being unaware. I really don't want to go through the trauma and pain of dealing with it at home again!

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