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hope its OK to ask this here

(4 Posts)
Unicornofdoom Mon 09-Feb-15 20:15:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bakingtins Mon 09-Feb-15 22:13:38

Tough one. I think I'd go for a nice blank card - neither a condolence card or 'congratulations it's a boy' and then mention both babies. I'd probably send a gift for the parents at this stage (along the lines of chocolate, flowers, vouchers) then maybe you could take a small gift for the surviving baby first time you meet him? I'm sure they will be grateful you thought of them and acknowledged their lost LO, it probably couldn't make it worse just at the moment. flowers

babyangelbean20315 Tue 10-Feb-15 16:25:15

Brothers guardian angel ?

KittyandTeal Tue 10-Feb-15 20:02:07

Please send something for both boys.

I have recently suffered a termination for medical reasons at 22 weeks. The thing that has helped me through it a bit has been people acknowledging my dd2. I was especially moved when someone send her a teddy bear which has gone straight in her memory box.

How about 2 of the same little cuddly toy? That way they can both have them, the parents can decide if they want to keep the toy in his memory box or send it with him when he is buried or cremated. I would also choose a nice card that's blank, like an arty type one, neither a congratulations or a commiserations one. Then you can write your own message. Please refer to their stillborn son though, it will mean a lot to them that he's not forgotten I'm sure.

It's a tragic thing to happen to anyone but I imagine it's very hard when you have a newborn to look after who should have a little brother with him but doesn't. I cannot imagine their pain.

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