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mmc...totally lost

(171 Posts)
brickiemum2 Thu 29-Jan-15 14:14:57

This is probably covered in other threads so apologies, but I don't have the strength to read them right now.
I went for an early reassurance scan this morning due to a couple of previous very early losses. On those occasions I always knew something was wrong as bfp' s were weak and symptoms non existent. This time I've had the strongest symptoms I've ever had, even compared to my two pregnancies that resulted in my children. Unfortunately I have a sac measuring 7 weeks (my days put me at 7w3d) a yolk sac but no fetal pole at all. Totally empty.
I still feel so pregnant though and my symptoms are strong.
How long can I expect to still feel like this and any idea when my body will realize there is no baby and let it go?
I'm finding this so so hard compared to my spontaneous mc' s.

bakingtins Thu 29-Jan-15 18:19:27

V sorry you are going through this brickie
I'm afraid it's a 'how long is a piece of string?' question. It's not unusual for a MMC to be picked up at a 12 week scan even though the embryo stopped developing at 5-6 weeks. Have you been offered a confirmation scan in a week or so? The NICE guidelines say they should try expectant management (wait and see) for 1-2 weeks, but if nothing happens you should be given medical and surgical options. If it's your preference to wait that's also ok but most women find it very difficult being in limbo.
It's particularly cruel to have to experience strong pregnancy symptoms when you know the pregnancy has ended.

Quinandthem Thu 29-Jan-15 18:33:48

Hi brickie

Followed you from the sept thread and wanted to make sure you're getting the right support.

I had a mmc in October. I had had some spotting first thing in the morning for a week before my scan. The baby had stopped developing at 7.5 wks. Scan was 8.5.

Luckily for me I then miscarried 2 days later. Have you thought about options?

I had a previously spontaneous mc at 8 wks before my dd.

I think the mmc is the worst one as you have to just wait.

I'm now 9.6wks but don't feel I can trust my body yet (even though I've had a healthy baby).

I think it's the lack of trust you have in your body which is hardest.

brickiemum2 Thu 29-Jan-15 18:44:14

Having looked into it I realise that what I am suffering is a blighted ovum and there never was a baby sad Had I not went for an early scan it wouldn't have been picked up until the 12 week scan. I've had spontaneous mc before but this has gutted me. I feel deceived. I've still got loss of strong preg symptoms so hormone levels are still high. How can I have morning sickness, sore big boobs, dark nipples, big Montgomery glands, constipation, hormone migraines, exhaustion and sleeping 10 hours a day when I never had a baby inside me? I just need it all to go away sad but I've to wait 2 weeks for a repeat scan to confirm. I'm sure of my dates though so it's a pointless exercise. It's not like the baby was just a bit too small, there was nothing there at all. Now I know how it feels to be a dog with a phantom pregnancy <self pity emoticon lol>

brickiemum2 Thu 29-Jan-15 18:49:36

And thank you for replying ladies.. sorry I'm feeling rather self absorbed at the minute. I'm a bit of a control freak and this has set off my anxiety big time

Holly6789 Thu 29-Jan-15 20:55:04

Hi brickie, so sorry you are going through this. I am currently going through a mmc. Today I would be 9 weeks but stopped growing at 4wks 3d. Unfortunately I still haven't lost the pregnancy (a whole 5 weeks since it stopped growing!) I am going for medical management tomorrow. Obviously at 4 weeks I didn't get many symptoms only sore boobs and dark nipples only in the last couple of weeks this has faded out to nothing but last week the hormones in my blood were still very high as while the pregnancy remains in your womb your body can still think you are pregnant. Hope this has helped a little. Even though I have known for weeks now I still can't believe it flowers

brickiemum2 Fri 30-Jan-15 08:15:24

What's terrifying me just now is that for as long as my body doesn't recognise that there is no baby it is still growing the placenta and sac. That means for every day this goes on the actual miscarriage itself will be worse surely? I know what comes out well be empty but the sac is still growing and the placenta getting larger.
I don't know how I can face anyone today. 24 hours ago I was so happy and now I feel hollow.

PassTheGinBottle Fri 30-Jan-15 10:15:40

Brickie when I found out my baby had stopped growing the midwife said that very often when a mum is told this news, her brain kicks in and realises what is going on, which speeds things up. This definitely happened to me; when we left the hospital the cramps started and the bleeding increased.

You do not need to face anyone. Just curl up under a blanket and watch TV and drink tea. Do you have someone looking after you today?

I hope this is all over for you soon. Massive hugs flowers

brickiemum2 Fri 30-Jan-15 12:17:33

So far nothing to report. Went to gp this morning who said that they routinely do surgical management here rather than tablets/pessaries so I should expect to go down that route if I don't go naturally. I've had blood taken for hormone levels which will be repeated on Monday to see what is happening. She is supportive that I shouldn't wait the 2 weeks as there is clearly no chance of a successful outcome. I'm like a pin cushion now as the nurse couldn't get a vein for love nor money. I've also been given diazepam for anxiety. I'm on my own today as dh at work. Well until I pick the kids up at 3 and I'll be entertained from them on lol.
Still not a single cramp or spot of blood. Preg symptoms are all still strong sad

ToriB34 Fri 30-Jan-15 14:49:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brickiemum2 Sun 01-Feb-15 16:02:36

Can I ask why they wanted to wait until 10+4? Was it to give everything a fair chance? Did you have blood hormone levels checked as well?

brickiemum2 Mon 02-Feb-15 07:40:13

Second set of bloods being taken for hcg monitoring today. Anyone know much about levels mean? I've heard that hcg can be normal and double every 48 hours with blighted ovum but then I've also read of them always being very low. Very confused.

PassTheGinBottle Tue 03-Feb-15 07:51:39

How you doing brickie?

brickiemum2 Tue 03-Feb-15 10:27:59

Shite. Bloods on Friday were 31,000 bloods from Monday not back yet. Gp has looked up NICE guidelines and they won't do anything until two weeks after the first scan as I'm under 12 weeks. Meanwhile I'm throwing up, can't fit in my bra, can't fit in my jeans and sure as shit am not about to put on maternity clothes. Looks like surgery over Valentine's weekend at some point.

ToriB34 Tue 03-Feb-15 12:45:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brickiemum2 Tue 03-Feb-15 17:14:36

That's how I feel, like I can't start getting over it or grieving properly yet. Everything is making me blub today. Adverts....mtv......everything.

poojakoirala Wed 04-Feb-15 01:18:45

I am freaking out I had a miscarriage 2days ago almost all the bleeding and discharge was done or I hope so. Today I felt like going to pee and while standing big oval like ball fell off my vagina may be 3"in diameter it has two tails on the top and bottom. I am really scared that is my uterus I am 33 years old and have one child 6 years old. Please advise.

CultureSucksDownWords Wed 04-Feb-15 01:59:11

Pooja, I just read this thread and had to reply to you. What you describe is absolutely not going to be your uterus - it is impossible for an internal organ to fall out like that. It is highly likely to be part of your ongoing miscarriage. I would go to the GP tomorrow and explain what happened to them and get yourself checked out for reassurance.

(Sorry for the de-rail OP).

brickiemum2 Wed 04-Feb-15 06:29:44

It sounds like that was the gestational sac pooja.

I'm going in this morning for second set of blood results (hopefully) I've looked up NICE guidelines and they say with a transvaginal scan and no visible fetal like it should be repeated after 7 days ago I'm going to push to go in tomorrow. Even if it just means I can speak to someone to help me decide between medical and surgical....

brickiemum2 Wed 04-Feb-15 11:13:54

Hormone levels dropping. Waiting for date for erpc. Sooner rather than later hopefully.

brickiemum2 Thu 05-Feb-15 05:56:35

Going in this morning for final scan. Any final thoughts on whether I should wait this out (could be weeks) or get it over with quickly via erpc? I'm still scared to make a decision sad

SaltySeaBird Thu 05-Feb-15 06:03:20

Brickie I'm so sorry and know how you feel.

I had medical management once and erpc once. I actually found the latter a lot easier and kinder too if that makes sense; it meant I could draw a line under everything.

It just takes time, sometimes a lot of time.

bakingtins Thu 05-Feb-15 07:08:40

Thinking of you brickie flowers
It's personal how you choose to deal with it, but most people are distressed by waiting, it sounds like you are finding that v difficult, and more active management, either medical (if you are worried about the GA or surgery aspect of ERPC ) or surgical, would give you some closure.

brickiemum2 Thu 05-Feb-15 11:06:32

Well, that's me back from the scan. I ended up with a mw from another hospital which I think turned out to be a good thing...more about that in a second.
My original scan said that the baby had never ever developed and was a blighted ovum. This time she found what she is pretty sure is a 5 week foetus that stopped developing. Doesn't affect the outcome but strangely gives me something to grieve over and that makes it easier on me somehow. Because the discovery of the baby is a change from last week she wants to wait another week and scan again. She was very clear that that doesn't mean that the pregnancy will be successful and simply to put my mind at rest before a surgical procedure that there's not a miracle. There's not, my hormones never got high enough and are falling now.
But now on to the slightly more positive outcome...I discussed my anxiety and fear of ga and she booked me in for mva under local anaesthetic a week on Friday. It's only done at the hospital she normally works at and if I hadn't have randomly got her I'm not sure I would've been offered this option.
So, I'm booked in fora routine scan next Thursday then surgery the day after...on Friday the 13th. Gulp.
Perhaps my body will do the right thing and let it go before this? I'm giving it every chance to do so.

Samsalt23 Thu 05-Feb-15 13:52:22

Hi I'm new to all of this I recently started bleeding heavily I was 9weeks 3days went for a scan on Tuesday and they found there was a sack but no baby sad I am now waiting for everything to pass naturally and have another appointment next week to discuss medical intervention I feel scared and so hurt (as you all will know!) I have since still been bleeding just like a period has anyone passed the sac naturally I feel like I'm house bound in case anything was to happen!

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