Waiting for a natural miscarriage

[Cinnamon84]

Have just come home from a scan to be told the sac had started to shrink and so this pregnancy wouldn't continue. I've been spotting brown blood for the last 4 or so days... Will this carry on or will there eventually be a lot more blood? I would have been about 7 weeks and looks like the shrinking started to happen between now and 17th jan when I had my first scan due to suspected ectopic. I'm not sure if I need to be at home and wait for it to get worse or if I should be getting back to my normal routine. Think I am a bit numb/in shock at the moment so not sure I'm thinking straight.
I know there's a lot of people on here who are going through far worse and found out further into the pregnancy but wondered if anyone could offer any advice?

[bakingtins]

Hi cinnamon so sorry to hear your bad news. Most natural miscarriages will involve cramps and heavy bleeding until the sac is passed. I would not want to be away from home at that point, you want your own bed, bathroom and hot water bottle. Stock up on painkillers ( ibuprofen etc) night time sanitary pads and chocolate, and hole up at home. EPU or your Gp will give you a sick note for work if you need one. The guideline is if you bleed heavy enough to fill a maxi pad in less than an hour or feel faint or unwell call for help, but otherwise you'll be more comfortable at home. It's a good idea to have another adult around or easily contactable just in case you do feel unwell. Have a read of the thread 'tips for coping' and come back whenever you need to, it helps not to feel alone with it.

[Cinnamon84]

Thanks bakingtins, that really helps and I appreciate you getting back to me. I'm starting to come to terms with it, just confused as I've been spotting this brown stuff since last week and it hasn't got any heavier.
I've been signed off work for this week but I'm worried that nothing will happen for ages. I'm a bit scared of the pessary and surgery options so would like it to happen naturally then I can move on. Last night I was praying for the blood to stop and now I just want it to come and be over!

[PassTheGinBottle]

Cinnamon I'm in exactly the same situation. MC confirmed at scan today - 8 weeks and no HB having previously seen HB at 6+4 scan.

Yet another scan tomorrow to confirm then I have to wait for nature to do its thing or go for ERPC. The whole thing is horrible.

Hand hold and hugs.

[Cinnamon84]

Oh no I'm sorry to hear that. Yes it's shit isn't it? Sorry if this is a personal question but how long do you think you'll wait before going for erpc? I'm thinking I'll wait til wed/thurs and will ask for peasant if nothing happens by then... Feels like cramps are starting to increase now, however I'm not sure if they are the same as the "dodgy tummy"/trapped wind pains I've been feeling for days. Feel like I've forgotten how my body is supposed to feel now

[Cinnamon84]

Obviously I meant pessary above but damn iPhone corrected it.
Here for you anyway x

[PassTheGinBottle]

No it's not personal at all, don't worry. To be honest I don't want to wait. I want to get back to normality. I've been bleeding for three days, brown and red blood. Today has been lighter than any other day - Sod's law. To be honest, knowing that the pregnancy is over is actually easier for me than worrying. I've had a rough ride - early scan showing tiny embryo, then another scan showing things fine, then bleeding, now this. I haven't enjoyed a single minute. But it's still heartbreaking.

I'm whacked out on nurofen plus and paracetamol. And I've just poured my first gin.

[Cinnamon84]

I'm considering having a glass of wine and a rollie now... Pretty much spent the whole day googling stuff and scaring myself. I think I might be swaying to the idea of erpc, I wasn't really taking in anything the dr said earlier but thought I could only choose between natural or pessaries.
Sorry about your experience, it's shit you've been so up and down. I think at the moment I am just thankful that it's happening now and not later on in the pregnancy.
Hope you're ok and recover soon anyway xx

[Ktay]

Sorry to hear you are both going through this. I had a good week or so of light bleeding then the mc proper happened overnight with no warning. I would have been around 12w at this point and the pregnancy had stopped progressing at around 6w. Apparently it's common for things to get moving of their own accord at the 12w mark.

[PassTheGinBottle]

God I so know what you mean about it happening now. Those poor, poor ladies who lose their babies in later pregnancy. It's terrible.

I'm dreading tomorrow. What if they do another scan and find a heartbeat? I know they won't, but my sonographer today was shite.

Did you have a rollie? I haven't smoked for two years and told DH I wanted one today.

[GuybrushThreepwoodMP]

I'm sorry you are both going through this. My mmc was discovered at 9 weeks and confirmed at 10 weeks last November. The pregnancy had stopped developing about 7 weeks. I mc naturally at home a week later but then had an erpc due to retained products.
The waiting is difficult so don't even think about going to work. Just try to keep busy and stay in your 'bubble' if you need to. When you are in limbo like this, it can be hard to believe the world keeps on turning without you.

My natural mc was similar to my labour with dd (now 2). Strong contractions getting stronger over a couple of hours. I then passed the sac. I can give you more details if you want- just didn't want to be too graphic in case you didn't want to hear it! Happy to share if you think it might prepare you though. Make sure you have big pads in, a hot water bottle and maybe some coedine.

My experience of the NHS was that they didn't want to do anything. They did everything they could to tell me how awful medical management would be and refused to offer me an erpc. They implied that the reason for this was medical but I rang them to confirm this and they said it is more a policy issue- they save the surgery for those who have losses which were further along. I understand this of course but it doesn't take into account how traumatic can be to be waiting. Even after my natural mc, I went in for a scan. They said there was 5cm left but they couldn't give me an erpc so I would have to wait. I asked to speak to a consultant. The consultant called me later and said the nurse was wrong, the policy is anything over 2cm so she had scheduled me for surgery the next day.
Have a look at the Miscarriage Association. They have a leaflet which explains the options. Basically the risks are similar with each so it is up to you. If you do want an erpc, you may have to fight for it! And you might have to wait first to see if it happens naturally. It all depends whether you would rather avoid a surgical procedure or whether you need it to be over asap so you can begin healing. My erpc want a difficult experience at all. I was scared, but you just go to sleep and when you wake up half an hour later, it's over.

Good luck to you both. It will be over soon.

[Cinnamon84]

Good luck today ginbottle. No i didn't feel like smoking in the end, I've got an old packet that's about 4 months old and I'm pretty sure it would have made me sick. I'm feeling especially blue today- I think it's the not knowing what's coming, and this anticipation of mess and pain, and not knowing when it's going to happen, if I can even go back to work next week. Also I havent seen my mum for ages and have made excuses for the last 2 weekends due to suspected ectopic and spotting and stomach pains... How long is this going to go on for?!!
Ktay- so you reckon it's likely to take 12 weeks? I'm not really sure why you think stuff normally happens of its own accord at this time?

[Cinnamon84]

Thanks for your insight guybrush, that was exactly how I felt with the Dr yesterday, my partner is pretty sure she only offered me natural or medically managed, so I must have read about erpc when I got home. It seemed like she was pushing for me to do it naturally as I've already been spotting for about a week, which I think is the only thing I'm ready for at the moment anyway and suggested mm is a lot more painful and messy.
Hate this waiting/worrying about leaving the house/being glued to mumsnet/being worried about lying down too much incase I need to be upright to encourage it to come out. Feel like I'm going a bit crazy today!

[Artesia]

So sorry to hear that you are going through this. The same happened to us 2 weeks ago- should have been 11.5 weeks, but baby stopped developing at 7.5.

I was scheduled for erpc, but had a natural miscarriage while I was waiting for it. Just to say, while it was awful, it was nowhere neat as bad as I had feared, and literally as soon as I passed the sac I felt much better- almost an enormous sense of relief.

It's obviously a very personal decision, but if had asked me before, I would have been certain I would want erpc, but I actually really pleased (if that's the right word) that it happened naturally- feels as though I have closure, both physically and emotionally, and in a way the physical process has helped me to accept what has happened. Two weeks on, am obviously still devastated, but feel I can start to move on.

Wishing you all the very best - be kind to yourself and take all the help and support you can.

[Cinnamon84]

i really appreciate everyone's messages and openness, and I'm so sorry you've been through this.

Artesia, your message has given me a bit of hope. I think I've come to terms with not having this baby, and I think I can handle the pain knowing it will be over soon, it's just waiting for it now x

[PassTheGinBottle]

I'm so grateful that people are kind enough to share their experiences, it is so helpful but so sad for everyone enduring this.

I'm not bleeding much but I feel dizzy as hell and really unwell. Sick to my stomach. I can't get off the bed. Is this normal?

[Cinnamon84]

I'm hardly bleeding at all,still just brown spotting. Awful stomach pains and diarrhoea though. FFS

[Artesia]

Cinnamon- mine was just spotting for a couple of days before it ramped up quite quickly. Without wanting to be too graphic, I'd make sure you stay near home as mine happened v quickly and I passed the sac before I had any bleeding. Not too painful but a real shock when it happened

X

[GuybrushThreepwoodMP]

cinnamon if you have diarrhoea, things could be starting. Mine started that way and my labour with dd did too. It can be how your body prepares. Fingers crossed for you.

[Cinnamon84]

Thank you artesia and guybrush, feel like I am being guided through this whole experience. Pain has gone for now but starting to bleed more.. Hoping something has started, just really want it all to be over now!

How was your scan ginbottle? x

[PassTheGinBottle]

Hi lovely. Scan was ok - the EPU team were beyond amazing. And I didn't have to look at it on the screen, which was a relief. They confirmed there is no heartbeat and that I am miscarrying. They said that as I'm bleeding and cramping that things should happen naturally, but I explained that I would rather an ERPC to have it over and done with so I'm booked in for that on Friday. They gave me some prescription painkillers which I'm about to enjoy.

The only thing I really struggled with was signing the form giving consent for the 'products of conception' to be cremated. Had a big cry after that.

How are you feeling

[Cinnamon84]

Oh no that's such a weird way of putting it and to see it in writing
I'm not sure how I am, felt like it was all happening this morning but haven't had any major pain since and back to spotting.. I just feel like I'm wasting time when I'm sat here feeling ok (physically ok, still feeling crap). Ideally I'd like it to be over soon and have a bit of time to recover before being back at work but I know it probably won't work out like that.
I'm glad (not sure that's the right word) you've for your ercp scheduled in, at least you can try and move on after that. Best of luck for Friday xx

[Artesia]

Very best of luck for Friday ginbottle- will be thinking of you. And make sure you live up to your name and have a cracking big G& T afterwards. I have found them invaluable over the last 2 weeks.

Cinnamon- if you have any worries or questions re natural miscarriage, pls do feel free to pm me. It's one of those things people dnt really talk about (except on here) but for me fear of the unknown was one of the hardest things about it.

[Cinnamon84]

Thanks artesia, I've had another day of moping about and thinking it's started to happen, but nothing yet... Will probably take you up on your offer tomorrow- thank you! x

[CalicoBlue]

I am sorry that you are going through this, it is awful. I have had three ms all different.

My first was when DS was 2. I thought I was 12 weeks, had horrid flu and started bleeding very heavily in the night. Went to hospital wearing one of DS's nappies, after taking him to nursery. It had stopped developing at 9 weeks. As I was bleeding so heavily they did a erpc. As soon as I woke up and had the blood transfusion I went home.

The second was 8 years later, I had dd by then. I had been bleeding, a scan at 7 weeks showed everything was ok. At 12 week scan I knew something was wrong. They did not want to scan as I had one at 7 weeks. I insisted and they found no heartbeat and say it had stopped at 9 weeks. As I had bled so much on the first ms, they did another erpc and I went home when I woke up.

A year later I started bleeding at 10 weeks, this time I went to the hospital and insisted on a scan. It showed that development had stopped at 7 weeks. I went home and waited for nature to take its course. It took about two weeks. I was wearing pads. It happened in a business meeting, I could feel it coming out, no pain though. I was more worried about bleeding on the chair. The bleeding lasted a day.

After 2 Dc and 3 Mc, I decided that was enough.

It is awful to go through, but just do what feels right for you. If you can stay at home and wait, do so.

[PassTheGinBottle]

Calico I'm so sorry to hear your stories Thank you for sharing.

I'm still booked in for Friday. Still bleeding, not passed anything significant. It's so frustrating that it's happening so slowly.

Cinnamon how are you today?