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I thought I was getting over my miscarriage

(12 Posts)
DaisyRebel Sun 11-Jan-15 02:05:41

I thought I was getting over my recent miscarriage (which happened at 7 weeks, we'd been trying for two years) relatively well, until today my closest friend told me she is pregnant (9 weeks) . I'm very happy for her but when she told me the due date I felt sick as it was almost exactly the same as mine was. I'm devastated. I feel unreasonably upset and angry, and frustrated with myself. I know it's unhealthy and I should just be happy for her and not relate it back to me but I can't help it. I'm jealous and feel so sad.

FishWithABicycle Sun 11-Jan-15 02:14:35

So sorry for your loss.
It's normal and natural to feel this way.
The pain will begin to subside with time.
Meanwhile, be kind and forgiving towards yourself. It's ok to not be perfect.

cruikshank Sun 11-Jan-15 02:19:07

Oh, you poor love. Fwiw I think your feelings are entirely normal and part of the grieving process. You aren't a bad person; you just feel sad and angry and that's ok. Please don't make things any worse for you than they are by castigating yourself - you have enough to process without turning on yourself as though you were an enemy. I know it's a cliche but being kind to yourself and gentle with yourself is so important in the healing process - don't threaten that with negative thoughts about how you 'should' be feeling - you 'should' be feeling any damn way you want, because that's how you're going to get through this. It's so hard. And fwiw, I'm sorry. I know that after each of my miscarriages it felt like every pregnancy announcement - heck, every sight of a pregnant woman on the damn street - felt like a personal slap in the face. It did get easier though, and it will get easier for you. But that will happen in time, not by you telling yourself that your feelings are wrong.

DaisyRebel Sun 11-Jan-15 13:08:22

Thank you so much for responding, it means a lot. I have since spoken to my partner about how I'm feeling and he's very supportive too xxx

cruikshank Sun 11-Jan-15 14:26:13

Oh, I am so glad that you're getting RL support and wish you and your partner well in your journey through your loss. xxx

stickingpoint2 Mon 12-Jan-15 17:15:01

So sorry for your loss. Unfortunately it does come back to bite you. Unexpectedly. I had a moment today. Take care of yourself. X

evelynj Sat 17-Jan-15 16:31:05

Sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage at the start of November & having previously had a mc thought I'd done my share. I had v strong pg symptoms so no clue anything was up until my first mw app. I shared my last pg with Kate Middleton & a friend of mine who was also again pg at the same time, a few months ahead this time. I was devastated by the mc but thought I was moving on by now.

I ran into my friend & her newborn today at a coffee shop, for some reason hadn't received the text she sent about the baby so it was a shock for me. It really knocked me for 6 although I was so happy for her & baby is gorgeous, I cried all the way home, (dh didn't know what was wrong + it pissed me off that he couldn't put 2+2 together).

It made me realise I'm still not myself at all since the mc. Wish I could move on but don't really know practically what to do. I always try to remember that other babies are just more people in the world & I don't want those babies, I just want mine sad

SashaKerr Sun 18-Jan-15 14:14:33

I'm in a very similar situation and know how you feel. I keep telling myself this is my family and it doesn't come to order, it will happen when fate dictates it will. I believe I will have the family I want one day - just maybe not at exactly the time I wanted it!

babyangelbean20315 Sun 18-Jan-15 16:57:19

Someone at work has my exact due date and I feel very envious and emotional around the whole situation, I am always asking how is it fair u r not on ur own I feel terrible but I always think why me not her

MrsGranny Mon 19-Jan-15 21:47:55

So sorry for all your losses. I had 3 miscarriages in 2014 (most recent on Boxing Day) and thought I was getting better until I found out today my cousin's wife is pregnant. They only got married in September '14. Should be happy for them but just cried and drank a bottle of wine �� just don't know how to feel better

evelynj Tue 20-Jan-15 21:29:35

So sorry for all your losses. Sasha, that's a nice way to put it-I can't just feel that way all the time. I guess for me, it's just acknowledging the shitter bits, feel sad & then try to switch back to happy & blessed.

Watching crap tv helps but It is hard feeling negativity towards friends, then there's the guilt of the thoughts that can't be helped.

Mrsgranny, that's such a lot to go through in a short pace of time. I hope things change for you soon

Iggi999 Fri 23-Jan-15 14:07:47

Everything you are feeling is normal flowers

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